[jlove973]

Agree

good post simon and thank you for your input

[JustAPixie]

I have not read all the replies here because there are just too many... But I would like to comment on some of the earlier replies on page 1.

I recently had an issue that was very akward for me to discuss with anyone. Lets just say it ende in me going for a lapscope. Some men won't even know what that is...

Anyway, back to the point... I started a thread to express my fears and concerns and to get some courage to go to the doc etc, and I asked that men don't post there... Is that discrimination??? What would men tell me about my ovaries??? I don't mind en reading it, I just don't want them posting and asking inappropriate questions without knowing it.

My point is just that there are issues both sexes struggle with and we don't always understand each other. We are different in so many ways, a man experience things different as a women, they think different and act different. We women have taken over pretty much the whole of PC and can post anywhere about nearly anything, but the men don't feel that comfortable. The result is that the males who don't get help leave and the male population just becomes smaller still. So there is a forum for the guys... what difference would it make to us women???

I think it's a great idea and I hope that you can reach your dream mellors!!!!!!!

thanks pixie, i too put it in a way that was easily understood by everyone when i said men can know everything about pregnancy but cant fully understand it has we can not possibly experiance it ourselfs

thanks for you input.

[bebop]

I think it is still a great idea! go for it and I hope doc john makes one for you and the other guys here.

the peanut gallery is so confusing to me..........

all Mellors has asked for is a little niche for men.

i am not the least bit threatened by there being forums that i don't post in. i don't feel left out and i don't feel unneeded.........i don't have PTSD, so i rarely ever read that forum. i do have anxiety and depression and i'm social, so i go to those.......i write a poem. i go to CC..........i bet there are members here who have never posted on CC and don't feel the least bit threatened or upset about our having CC......

arguing for arguing sakes (nit-picking) makes me so tired that i'm logging off for the next couple of days.

i'd love to come back and see that someone honestly answered the two very important questions that i asked........

how will a male forum hurt you?

how will a male forum hurt PC?

hang tough, mellors........you're totally accepted by me and your ideas are also.........i'm proud that you're withstanding the opposition and trying to answer them as best as you can........love, pat

[Perna]

According to science, I'm going to die 5-10 years sooner than 90% of others here (all else being equal :-) I'm left handed. Perhaps we need a left-hander's forum; you might not understand, maybe have not had to experience being left-handed in so predominantly a right-handed world (talk about your discrimination!)? The discrimination against me is scientifically proven, pervasive (I can't avoid it), literally life threatening (controls to turn off harmful machinery are "backwards" for the left-handed and the time spent by my brain figuring it out will kill me -- driving on the right side of the road, I "automatically" pull left to "dodge" a problem, right into oncoming traffic but culturally I'd be thought barmy if I "complained" seriously (instead of wearing silly teeshirts about the left side of the body being controlled by the right side of the brain therefore left-handers are the only ones in their right mind) and yelled "discrimination" and demanded things be required by law to be safe for my little 10%. Handedness is genetic too, not something learned and you can "train" yourself (or someone can beat it into you like teachers use to do) to use both hands but it's never "equal," there is no true ambidextrosity other than those perhaps born with it like some intersex babies.

I too am sorry more men do not stay with these forums. But I don't see how you can attribute reasons to their not staying (or what would contribut to their wanting to stay) if they've never posted/one hasn't been able to ask them?

But what I wanted to ask; there's two kind of "all male" forums; those where women can read but not respond and those that only men can read and only men can respond. You didn't make clear which sort you were wishing for so perhaps there's some confusion there. I read all the posts too but didn't see one replying to why one can't just ask for male responses in any forum? I do take exception to your seeming insistance that "all" females are going to respond one way or another, mostly poorly -- I think you've seen by the responses in this thread that a great many females in these forums do understand?

But I'm an individual long before I'm "female" so yes, I think I would think less of you Mellors were I to be required to label you "male" as you request in that sense and see you as thinking less of me before you even talk to/get to know me as an individual; not even trying to in the first place but immediately wanting to go elsewhere where I can't come participate.

[jlove973]

why is there such a fierce debate over something so black and white.

to argue and debate over something as trivial as a "male only forum" is quite wrong, there are bigger issues to worry about.

simon

[Gemstone]

I voted no. I don't feel it's necessary.

I think even though it is started with good intentions it will turn into a place for men to say hurtful things about women. I also think it will further segrogate the small male population we have, which I do not feel will be helpful to them in the long run.

Although I do not think a male only forum will hurt me in anyway, I do think it will hurt PC as a whole. I think it will cause hurt feelings for some just as the religion forum has for some.

Just my honest opinion on the matter. Please no one bash me for it.

The first paragraph, ok now I am going to go down to your level, I am male so therefore more likely to die before you, proven fact, does this make me a minority on this site?, I am from England and a male, does that make me a minority in here?, I have a beard, does that make me a minority?, see where I am going with this, this is not about our individual circumstances this thread is about 1 thing and 1 thing only, should there be a forum for males, yes or no

2 different people now have said if you don’t want to go to the forum you can ignore it like a lot of us do in regards to the religion forum, I still don’t see why this is such a big issue to a lot of the members here.

“I too am sorry more men do not stay with these forums. But I don't see how you can attribute reasons to their not staying (or what would contribute to their wanting to stay) if they've never posted/one hasn't been able to ask them?”

I can only specify reasons why I personally would not feel comfortable posting about my issues or staying in a particular site from my own experiences here, and the way I have been constantly attacked in this thread alone proves the need for a safe haven for males both new and old to the site.

I have skin thicker than on a rhino’s bum so don’t feel has vulnerable has say a new member, male or female, who has never discussed his or her problems online before, if the new members to this site read this thread from the beginning, what kind of reaction do you think they are going to adopt to the forums? Do you think if you were a new member of either sex you would feel safe in posting anything other than “hi, I’m new here” for fear of being ridiculed or discounted because your ideas are different from mine or my opinion differs from yours?

I would ask for the male forum to be like sky suggested, that only males can start a thread in the forum but that it is still accessible to the female population by invite for there opinions if asked to do so by the original poster.

If labelling me has a man is easier for you, than has a person with feelings, then so be it, I think you said it all, the reason you object so much to the forum, in your last 4 words, “I can't come participate.” whats wrong scared of missing something?

[allthegirls6]

Im not mad keen on a male only forum either, its a split we dont need. Anyway, how do we know who is a man and who is a woman? People tend to chose names that dont give away thier gender (except us of course, we are all girls in case you didnt know!)

[Perna]

Peace, Mellors. Didn't mean to appear "anti" or step on your toes personally. I would be a little unhappy if there were an exclusive subject forum of any sort for personal reasons mentioned above. Yes, I would miss you (and you me) if either of us were excluded and that would make me sad but I'd work it through eventually :-)

Were there several guys clamoring for such a forum I'd probably see it differently but I think I've only read Simon being mildly for with conditions and stating he himself probably wouldn't use the forum much. I've sat in an empty chat room before and talked to myself, but not often :-)

[sparkling]

Maybe I'm going to repeat myself here, forgive me in that case. I just think I haven't expessed my feelings concerning the issue as thoroughly as I'd like to. Hope you don't mind.

As I said earlier I'm not opposed to the whole idea if there will be also a female forum created. It's not that I have anything against a male only forum, it's about PC being fair for everyone. It is now. Everyone can go and post everywhere. Now when only a male forum is created and women can't post there, then it would be unfair ("why they (men) can post everywhere and we (women) can't?"; "why they (men) can discuss their 'male' issues between themselves and we (women) have to discuss ours in public?"). That's how I see it. So as I said earlier the only fair thing would be to create both male and female forums. This way PC would stay fair for everyone and I would stay completely satisfied with it.

That's my opinion and the only problem I'd have with it.

And BTW thanks, Simon, as yet you are the only male who voted for a male and female forums (both of them). Thank you for understanding me too.

[SeptemberMorn]

I agree with Fayerody!!!



What the heck is the big deal AGAINST a male forum?????????? What are you afraid that you're going to miss??????????

[jlove973]

OMGoodness. This is out of control. Let's just create the forum. Is there a reason why it's not created yet. Instead of going through all of this. Let the Men have their forum. PPPLLLEEEAAASSSEEE...

[SeptemberMorn]

[Greenleaves]

Hey Mellors,

I'm not opposed to the male forum anymore. I think I understand where it's coming from now. It's not about exclusion for you.

Anyways, I was very triggered by the idea of exclusion.

I do wonder about those of us who choose not to reveal our sex. Will they just not be able to post?

I'll give you a hug Mellors, if you give me one.

[seeker1950]

I want to apologize to Mellors and to those of you who have voiced valid reasons for the male forum. This whole thing triggered me for some reason, and I posted something hateful (which was rightly deleted by one of the moderators). Anyway, after reading all the posts here, especially Pat's comments about threads we visit and don't visit (which is true for me as well), I only visit certain threads, and enjoy reading and posting in them, though I am doing so less these days.
This issue and the triggered response I had to it initially has made me do a lot of self-evaluating in ways that are surprising. I didn't realize how cynical I had become about men! It has made me do a lot of soul-searching, and that is a good growth experience...and isn't that what PC is supposed to be about?!
I haven't voted yet, by the way, but will do so now, Mellors...a YES!
Patty

i dont normally do hugs but heres one just for you greenleaves (((((((greenleaves))))))

thanks seeker

[Greenleaves]

((((((((((((mellors)))))))))))))

I hope you get your forum.

You want to do a good thing. Your heart is definitetly in the right place.

[Sarah116]

Did you ask about it?

[JustAPixie]

Wasn't there also this big an issue over the supporters forum??? Maybe people are afraid of change, or maybe they just don't want to be left out... maybe some just want to pick a fight...

I think most issues have been mentioned here and some have been mentioned a few times... why not just vote and if you have a new and valid point then say it. I don't think mellors is stupid and he did read all your replies, but I don't think there's any convincing him... And on that, I don't think we should focus on convincing so much as the practicality of a male forum working for PC and bringing more males to the site.

And on that point, other sites have male forums and I bet they have a bigger male to female ratio... we should be the best site and stay the best site and offer more than others. I think also that that maybe you should create a poll where only males vote to get there feeling of the whole thing... maybe they don't even want it.

I'm rambling again, sorry...