[(JD)]

I apologize in that (just coming from a long trip/driving) I haven't read all the replies.

In other websites, the males only forums generally allow ONLY the males to BEGIN a thread...yet females may reply, and esp if the males have asked females for a response to a question. Most of those sites also have a FEMALES ONLY forum that operates in the same fashion.

I think it's needed. I try to tell new male members (if it's on their profile) about Mellor's idea...some have responded back to me that they think it would be good.

TC

[okiedokie]

Just for the record...I was simply pointing up another minority group that may feel left out if there is a male only forum developed here. That's all. Not insulting gay people, not insinuating mellors is gay, nothing of the sort.

Like I said above, if it would be helpful to mellors and other males to have their own forum, it certainly wouldn't take anything away from the women.

I do have to agree with Pat in one regard. The whole thread turned into a big fat headache!!!

[sparkling]

Okiedokie... What 'minority group' you have in mind? Gays? Why you think they would feel left out? Aren't they men as well? Why do you think they would feel they can't go and post there? And what if 'female only' forum is created? Aren't lesbians welcome there? They are women as well. I don't see why they shouldn't feel free to post in a female forum.

Mellors? That forum would be open for all males, not only for those who are straight, right?

[January]

I want to make it quite clear that there are no hidden forums except for the one that the mod/admin team use and the Supporters Forum, which everyone can use when they reach a certain amount of posts, etc. That's it, period.

Jan

i never said the whole thread turned into one big headache. i was referring to the aspects of the thread that were posted last night when people were reacting, instead of responding.

and i certainly didn't say that you insinuated that Mellors is gay. that never even occurred to me. i was thinking of the whole, not one individual.........

the thread is necessary........pat

[kimmydawn]

I've removed some posts that appear attacking and/or flaming.

Please keep responses supportive even when disagreeing and refrain from name calling or biting statements.

We can comment in disagreement, even strong disagreement, and keep it respectful.

Keep responses respectful of all.

KD

[okiedokie]

Well, for starters someone posted up above about a Chinese only forum, etc.

It sounds like you want to start a fight... I have no idea what you are asking or talking about. Sorry.

[sparkling]

I don't want to start anything. From your post I figured that 'minority group' you were referring to were gays and just asked why do you think they would feel left out. Then asked Mellors if the forum will be open for straight men only since he said earlier he's going to answer our doubts and questions concerning the matter but obviously his reply got deleted before you got the chance to read it. I have no idea what Chinese people have to do with it.

the forum WILL be open to all men regardless of sexual orientation

[gardenergirl]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
sparkling said:
I have no idea what Chinese people have to do with it.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

It's an example of a minority group as males are in relation to the demographics of the board. I believe the idea was that if one minority group could benefit from a board just for them, so could another.
hth,
gg

A few people have pm’ed me and asked what I would define has male only issues so I have compiled a list,

Domestic Violence Against Men has Opposed to against a Woman,
Controlling Female and Same Sex Partners,
Male Rape,
Male To Male Relationship Issues,
What Does and Doesn’t work in regards to a Mans point of view has opposed to a Female point of view on a variety of subjects.
Childhood Abuse including Sexual, Physical and or Emotional Abuse,
Drinking, Drugs and Sex.,
Abandonment Issues,
Parental Rights for divorced fathers

It is not all of the subjects that COULD be covered just a few of MY OWN ideas, anyway if you can think of anymore feel free to add them.

Ps I apologise in advance if any of these suggestions are triggering to some
That is not my intention.

[Perna]

I don't understand why you can't ask your questions, present your "problems" in the forums already provided and explain you especially want male viewpoints? You can ignore other people/genders without making them feel unwanted :-)

[Zen888]

What if female members would like to give their opinions to give the male members a well rounded prospective on the problem or issue facing them?

ok for example, say if you were a man, and you were being physically abused by your female partner, would YOU post in relationships?, a predomanantly female forum, not likley,

I'm afraid to vote!

come on guys....mellors made a simple yet important request.....i vote yes yes yes!

thats the whole point pilatus of a male only forum, if WE want the opinion of a female point of veiw we can ask for one,

for example, how supportive are the female population going to be in say regards to a post by a man regarding parental rights in favour of the fathers, think about it, how many men get full custody of there children when the relationship fails, and how many of them have to fight tooth and nail for visitation, even if they do have court appointed dates there is nothing stopping you (mothers) from saying no and not turning up, how would a female point of veiw be helpfull to the male poster?

[Perna]

You imply there is an automatic negative female viewpoint and that comes, I think, from your own head. I'm well aware of the problems of fathers with ex-wives, I married one. I personally think you would learn more listening to all viewpoints; positive, negative, inbetween and seeing that there are all kinds of people and problems don't often have much to do with gender.

Again, personally, I don't "care" whether there is a male only forum or not. As I wouldn't be part of it, it could not have a whole lot of direct effect on me. However, I see such a thing as being more limiting than helpful. One is not allowed to "attack" another on these forums, they're "support" forums and I think an exclusionary forum assumes "protection" from something negative. As I'm part of that something and feel such a forum would foster thinking in exclusionary ways, eventually it "could" hurt me. I believe personal growth and healing happens when we learn to see ourselves as "like" other people rather than as "unlike." Male bonding in real life can be helpful to some men but I don't see how it can apply in a positive way on the Internet. These forums are wholly open, anyone at all can join and participate whether they have a psychiatric problem or not. The forums themselves are in no way exclusionary so would seem "odd" to me to have one within them that was?

i would like to ask every woman who is against Mellors very important request two questions.

how will a male forum hurt you?

how will it hurt PC?

now, here's the hard part. can you answer these questions, without provoking hurt and anger?

i, for the life of me, do not understand how any woman here could be "upset", "threatened", "confused", "opposed" and whatever else youre feeling about something that to me seems so fair and so supportive and loving.

i've had some truly confused feelings about the female members here since this started.

it almost feels to me as if disagreeing is more important than trying to feel what Mellors feels.

yet, in a day or two, or a week, a female will be asking for support concerning a female issue and will have forgotten what Mellors was asking for.......unconditional support. if we can ask for it, why can't we give it?

[mrb020377]

i am for it! Everyone needs support. there isnt a person here that doesnt need support in one way or another. I sometimes feel that Men get the short end of the stick. They, like mellors said, have to fight tooth and nail for any parental rights... i know growing up in a divorced family.. it is tough on the men to have rights to the kids.

Why not have a male forum where men can come and talk about anything on their mind..... I say go for it!

“Male bonding in real life can be helpful to some men but I don't see how it can apply in a positive way on the Internet.”

What about the men who cant bond with another man for whatever reason in real life, where do they go, what do they do? From a purely male point of view on this, mine, I don’t make friends in real life, and I know there are many, many more men like me out there, I have one male friend in real life and no female friends other than online, mainly here, yet I have told him nothing of what concerns me mentally or physically due to the simple fact that men do not discuss there problems with there in real life male friends for fear of rejection or ridicule or the thinking that it makes you sound weak, it is the same for him, we never talk about his issues and I think the option to be able to talk in a male environment about male issues can only be good

[Perna]

Disclosure to same-sex or different-sex "friends" is not a male-only issue. Male "bonding" is hanging out and doing stuff together, not something one can do well on the Internet other than perhaps in some gaming environments.

I haven't seen other men replying much to this thread? Like I said, I'm not against it other than it deprives me of you in other areas as when one wishes an exclusive area one usually wants to spend more of one's time in that area? Too, having an exclusive area will begin to feel "right" to you (and life is not exclusive like that; having a "special" place on the Internet might not help you in real life, the "purpose" of these forums) and your perception can be affected so you recommend exclusivity. These are wholly open forums and introducing exclusivity will introduce the idea of exclusivity in general and more and more such forums will pop up. How many channels does your cable/satellite have? There's no community spirit in dividing things smaller and smaller, building more and more walls.

Last but not least, Mellors, I ask you to think about your signature quote of Kierkegaard's. Do you want to be labeled "male?"

[jlove973]

*********This is my second opinion on this. It is an opinion we all have our opinions************

WOW This is going real far. Pretty extreme really. I don't understand the big deal about this

My question is, are you starting a Male thread or not? If Admin or Doc John approves then start it. Go for it make that step. Everyone's opinion is awesome and will range in Diversity, but if you have approval from the Staff then go for it
That is Awesome that you put it out there for us to give you imput on how we feel. You are taking it all in and that shows that you care.
I thank you
Jlove

i think a male only forum is a good idea, although my only concern would be that that is all men would post all their queries. if they didnt disconnect themselves from the rest of the forums, then i think it would be a good idea. plus, if there was a female only forum too, it would be more fair and women would be able to discuss personal things they dont want men to read about. thats the same with the male forum, men might not want to talk about something in front of women, say for instance, a man has found out he has a problem with his penis, or there abouts, i dont think he would be comfortable discussing that with women too. plus if it was a sexuality query, again, he may feel uncomfortable speaking about it in front of women. this applies for women too though, if they had their own forum they would be able to speka about personal things that they dont want men reading.

i am for the idea of a male only forum, as long as:

1: men didnt just use that forum and never venture to the other forums
2:it can only be used for topics such as sexuality topics, sexual organs, sex in general, and discussions that maybe women wouldnt appreciate
and
3: women get a "female only" forum that they can use for the same reasons.

i cant say i would use the male only forum much myself, mainly becaue i have nothing that i dont want women to know about, but if i needed it, it would be nice to knwo it was there.i know that some men would rather speak man to man,, nothing sexist, but just too personal that they only want a mans answer on.

simon

Male "bonding" is hanging out and doing stuff together, not something one can do well on the Internet other than perhaps in some gaming environments.

You imply that men play games with each other online rather than talk about issues that concern them, it is easier to talk man to man online than in real time face to face, I do get the point that we use other subjects ie gaming to bond online, I would consider that has a very good way to start a conversation.

Last but not least, Mellors, I ask you to think about your signature quote of Kierkegaard's. Do you want to be labeled "male?"

Will it negate me in your eyes?, it is not a label per se, it is a FACT that I am a male take from that what you will.