[Alibongo]

Hello everyone. I am Alison, aged 37 and I live in the UK. I am married to Paul and we have 2 children Sophie aged 10 and Oliver aged 8 (Oliver has autism).

I am so glad I have found this forum as I am just realising that I may have bipolar. Over a year ago my GP said that he thought I had it and referred me to a psychiatrist. We talked for quite a while and she felt that I was not bipolar. She said that I had a very stressful life with my son and it was understandable why I have been on antidepressants for 8 years. I left feeling very confused.

I did a little research into the disorder and I have most of the symptoms except psychosis and suicidal thoughts. I spend money in my 'high' episodes, like water! I just go and spend, don't think of the consequences at all on my family and then I come right down after. I have grand ideas about everything, feel so self-important at times too and my mind races. I feel down at the moment after just spending the last week, off and on, about moving house or knocking down this and that and changing everything around. My poor husband is so very worried about me. This pattern has occured since my son was born, I was hospitalised when he was 6 months old (I didnt know he had autism then, he was diagnosed at age 3). I am devious in that I will just go ahead and do something, anything and not discuss with my husband beforehand. Often he has come home and I have changed something or hired a skip for the driveway and spent £100!! If I do gardening I have to spend all day on working on it, not rest at all. Its all very exhausting and I feel so ill at times.

The medication I take for my depression is Cipralex 20mg per day and 25mg of Dothiepin (anti anxiety). The last few days since I have been depressed I have felt so agitated, feels like my head is stuffed with cotton wool and I feel so tense. I actually tense up my body and go "arghhhhhhh" when on my own to try and get rid of this horrible feeling. Has anyone else experienced this?

My husband is coming with me to see my GP next week and we are booking a longer appointment so we can talk about how I have been feeling. I am sure that my medication is not right for me and is not helping me at all.

So I just thought I would share with you what has been happening and how my husband and I have reached the conclusion that, yes, I may well have bipolar.

best wishes



Ali

[SeptemberMorn]

Hi, Ali. Just want to welcome you to the board. I don't know too much about bipolar so I'm not even gonna go there, ok?

Sounds like you are on the right track as far as taking care of yourself, though. We're here to support you in that.

Again, welcome.

<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[cocoa]

Alibongo, Hi there! I'm new here as well but not so new to having the illness bipolar. I can understand where you're at and where you're going. I'm afraid hon that its a path that you have to travel but good can come from it.
I like you am new here but not new to bipolar. I am 37 now but I was dignossed when I was 24. Its been a long hard road but one im sure you will get through.
Bipolar illness is part of our personallities but it doesn't define who we are.
You have to look within and find the strenth you have to fight back at your illness but never forget it is part of who you are and in turn effects most of your life.
Don't let it scare you! You are bigger and stronger then it is. Keep working with your doctor and your meds. You will fine a med. that works for you. It may take time! A lot of time for some people. I haven't found a med. that worked somewhat for me for years. Its a battle, but one that can be won.
Heads up to your husband because if he truely loves you its a life time comitment for him. Stand strong and you will learn through books and reading about your illness the things that must be done. If you need extra help with this , do contact me through my E-Mail hon.

I'm cocoa and I'm here to help

good luck :-))

[PlanningtoLive]

Welcome to the boards Ali............we're a good group here, friendly and helpful.

Tomi, you forgot to tell her to make sure she keeps on posting here.

xoxoxox

[Dude]

Welcome to the boards.Enjoy.

[Alibongo]

Thanks everyone for your nice, kind replies. Its so nice to know that I am not alone by any means. Cocoa, my husband has been through hell with me but he supports me and I know that he loves me a lot. I am very thankful and lucky for that. He is a little scared right now, but so am I. Although really I know deep down that I have to get some help. I am feeling very very down at the moment, very slow moving and my mind is in a fog. I will just have to go with it for now.

Hi Planning....I will try and keep posting, thanks for your support.


Ali

[SeptemberMorn]

What would I do without you, Hun?

Yes, Ali. Please keep posting. Whether some of us know about the illness or not, there is, for the most part, gentle, kind support for most of us. We're a good group.

I agree with you; sometimes we just have to "go with it." {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Ali}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>