Is everything hopeless?

I honestly wouldn't have minded dying. It's being alive that's hell.

Are you past this or feel that way now??

Although I do agree with you, I feel the same way constantly. I do have enough of background to cut myself a break occasionally. I have been studying mind control, self-help, psychology and much more since I was 12 years old. Currently I am taking an online course from Berkeley called "The Science of Happiness". One thing that I have learned over the years is self-compassion, it has got me through some very difficult times.

Many people are compassionate toward people in general but not towards themselves for some reason. Start by finding a definition of self-compassion that makes sense to you and then apply it yourself as you go through life. You may be very pleasantly surprised.

Have a great day everyone!

I'm not really past it. It does feel very much like the end of life to me and I'm sad, but OK with that. I've been waiting to die because I can't do anything else apparently. But if I can, I want to do little things like cleaning, etc. It's just so hard.

Don't give.up because it does get better. I know what you mean about not caring about life. I often feel like what's my purpose because I suck at life. I think we all just do the best we can with the tools we're given. There's no competition except within. It's not worth wasting my time comparing my life to the "ideal" chosen by society. Screw it! I try to focus on what will bring me happiness and peace.

Excellent point on lack of forgiving ourselves. I am studying neuroplasticity for chronic pain and mental illness. It is basically a scientific extension on Buddhist meditation. I would love to hear more about your class. This is what I'm studying.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/038530...&robot_redir=1

I feel the same as Angelique lately. I have never had chronic pain but with the withdrawal syndrome comes parathesias, mine is pain down arms and legs which is not happening at all once. It is so strange, it can be down one side of my body or just my legs. I never knew what it was until I read more about the syndrome. Also with the head pain, I don't call it headaches, this is more on the outside. Again, strange but terribly unpleasant. All kinds of weird pain that makes no sense and has no apparent cause.

Every day brings a different set of ills. Today I was attempting to do some cooking and suddenly felt so tired like I had been running a race, had to sit down. This is very disconcerting, I have something important I have to do tomorrow and I wonder if I am going to be up for it. It makes life very trying and you don't want to experience anything more! Also makes you feel completely crazy.

I either want to get better or just go ahead and die. Right now, I am just trying to wait for improvement. It really scares me to think that I won't or that these symptoms are for real, not just the withdrawal syndrome. Like being in limbo!

I would highly recommend Jeffery Schwartz too.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/s/ref=is...x=jeffery+schw

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Hopeless?? No. It just feels that way sometimes.