[Raindropvampire]

I turn 36 in 19 days. I've only had two people who have seemed genuinely pleased that I'm not upset or freaking out. Everyone else has told me horror stories of how they or someone close to them freaked out on such and such birthday. I quit counting after 16 people did this. My boss and I are the same age and she turns 36 21 days after me. Everyday she's told me "You know we're closer to 40 than 30 now. After this it's all downhill. It'll be 40 before we know it then 50 then dead." Fortunately we only see each other for about 15 to 20 minutes on average. It's like everyone but two people want me to freak out over getting older. I'm getting looks like I've grown a second head when I tell them I don't care it's just a number. Even my family is telling me it's ok to freak out because you're getting old.

Can anyone explain this phenomenon of trying to make people feel bad and freak out over a natural process that one should enjoy? I've always enjoyed getting older. I've learned so much over the years and have so much more to experience and learn. How is that a bad thing?

Well there are two options. You either get older or you die. So aging is a positive.

[di meliora]

People have different perceptions. For example, I have around many years without learning to live. Treatment has helped me cope better. Even so, I have never understand why I was put here. Death may be the solution to this dilemma.

It may di meliora but there's plenty of time hopefully, prior to actually learning the answer sought. One might get an answer sure...but what would be the hurry? It'll come...no-one is going to miss it by waiting.

On another note...I too have NO clue why I AM or anything IS. Sometimes it's difficult. Other times it holds me in rapt stunned amazement. I like the rapt stunned amazement times. Sometimes I'm really peaceful when I realize the answers really aren't that important. Man is too small and simple a being to worry about all that.

Mind you maintaining those peaceful tranquil times are harder. Wish they hung around a lot more often.

[PsychiatricEnigma]

It's because people are scared of ageing. They are afraid of losing their youth (looks, physical energy, etc) and also afraid of the social seniority that comes with it. Every year you get closer to a mile stone (18, 21, 25, 30, 40, 50, etc) and as morbid as it sounds, one year closer to dying.

When I turned 18 I suddenly became very age conscious because I became a legal adult that was allowed to do everything, yet I still felt (and still do) like a young teenager, I now dislike my birthday, although I've learned to just accept my age and not really think much of it, but I am still rather age conscious. It is just a number, but it's one that helps define us I guess.

More power to you that you embrace ageing and see it in a positive light, though.

[Lavender*]

I am not scared of ageing like I use to
You have to get old some day
The years do fly by once you pass the age of 21 that is a fact
36 is young and is not old at all.

I'm 50...51 in August. I didn't think much of last years birthday other than damn...50 friggin' years and where am I in life??? Then I said cusswords maybe and got on with life. I don't recall it being a big deal much. I was alone and maybe ate a pizza or something. There was no-one to ruminate with and discuss the thing like many birthday events inevidibly do.

My mind doesn't feel old. I'm entertained by much my more ma-toor peers would stick up their noses at. I've maintained aspects of being a big kid and it's kept me I think from being even more effed up by my illness. I'm somewhat a creative mind in respects. I think that's where that comes from. And I have no problem with it.

I'm blown away by the fact I have an average of 20 years left to me. THAT bothers me when i think of it some days. I'm not worried about being old and unprepared for my 'golden years'. I could give a rats ***...I'm tough enough to handle that I'm sure. Change is fairly gradual as we age ...I'll have more afflictions and health complications but I'll adapt I think. It'll suck perhaps but life has sucked for a long long time. yeah...I'll likely adapt.

But 20 years??? wow..I don't like that. The last twenty went like a bullet. That's what I don't like. And if anything is a fire under my *** regarding the fight with my mental issues it's that. I want to have some contentment while I trudge to my end. I want some satisfaction that I tramped around on Mudder Earth and experienced a good life without fear.

I don't want to die knowing fear and lonliness. If I died tonight it would be that way. Shite...I don't want to die feeling guilt either. I'd like to live the rest of my life saying, man this shite is sure weird but really interesting! While I could appreciate it.

We're one of billions who have passed. To say little of the unfathomable numbers of other living creatures. It'll be ok. That's all I know. I'm not worried about death near as much as the time leading up to it.

[ECHOES]

I don't know, but it is odd, isn't it?
It's like when someone is pregnant and suddenly everyone wants to share awful pregnancy or birthing stories with them.

I suppose you could laugh and say again that you are fine with your age and that you wonder if they want you to not be fine....

It is healthy and wonderful to accept and enjoy the age you are!

[Raindropvampire]

I just thought about it but yeah same mentality of telling horrible pregnancy experiences or when you say you have to have an operation all these people tell you every horrible thing that's ever happened to ANYONE ever that's having the same thing done that you are. Maybe it's just the misery loves company thing I don't know. I haven't really started getting any lines on my face except my laugh lines and I like them. gives me character. and there are days because of my bipolar I feel ancient and days I feel like a kid so I guess maybe that's why it doesn't bother me. And one never knows how much time one has left so why lament the days I've wasted I'd rather have fun and enjoy myself as much as I can. Sorry that was kinda disjointed it's a hard night to focus

[wing]

I'm 55, and one of the things that bothers me is only having about 20 years left, too. The last 20 DID fly by. I have so many regrets about how I lived my life due to bipolar...I really let it make so many decisions for me, and led a boring life because of it....always afraid of instigating an episode.

The other weird thing is passing on responsibilities to the next generation. I'm having to adjust to young people taking over the world. lol Closer to home, my kids are all at an age where they are flying off the nest, and it bugs me that they don't (appear to) listen to advice from anyone over 30.

I'm trying to view this as just another phase of life.Mainly, I have to focus more on my health. Laziness has worse consequences for my physical well-being. Everyone always says exercise more. Well now if I don't I can cause myself real problems that are more than just being out of shape.

I have always kinda downplayed my birthday. It doesn't seem like that big a deal. After all, it comes again next year so why get all excited about it? There are very few years that are milestones. I'd say 18, 21 and 65 (when you can retire).

My plan is to try to be less fearful and stay physically healthy. The thing is, I've never placed that much effort into either of those things so it will be continuing challenges I've had all my life. I hope I'm more successful at it these last 20.

[nicoleflynn]

I am 65 and a Freshman in college. I figure I will live to be 100; my mom is 90! Live each day as if it were your last, because someday....it will be! Joie de vivre!

[PsychGirl123]

I turn 30 soon and I have been really upset about it. I'm dating someone younger and have pretty much wasted the last 10 years of my life living in fear, disappointment, etc., because of anxiety, being damaged from an abusive alcoholic family, you name it. Internally, I feel like I'm about 60 and that I am withering away emotionally. If it wasn't for the last 30 years being so hard, I'd probably look 10 years younger at least. My face just looks sad and like it's being pulled down. I'm getting frown lines on my face even though I have been extremely diligent about staying out of the sun, using sunscreen and eating insanely well.

I'm much younger but I understand how this feels. Every day is another day (and then year) that my life has gone to waste, that I haven't been able to do what I set out to do, and I hate every and any reminder.

I just had a birthday and am now 49. Aging was never much on my mind until after I hit 40 and my eyesight seriously began to be an issue. I've always worn glasses, but I hit 40 and suddenly I needed glasses for reading and the eventual bifocals. For some reason that hit me as the first physiological symptom of my own aging. My children are growing up and growing away. I'm glad for that, but again, it is a real shift in my life that I am adjusting to. My parents are around 80 now and I realize my time with them is seriously limited now, and the prospect of dealing with aging parents is daunting. My own retirement is something I can't ignore anymore. Will we be ready for that?

Aging brings many serious life changes with it. They aren't necessarily negative, but they are changes nonetheless. I wouldn't go back to my younger years if you paid me, but each stage of life has its challenges as well as rewards. Aging is a shared experience. We all do it. I think the pregnancy story comparison is a great analogy of people just finding a place of commonality with each other.

I'm with you...I wouldn't go back nope!

In my younger years; I had a mantra: "I wanna be old, then, perhaps..then, someone will love me for who I am; and not for my youth or looks"

ha ha ha... I was silly even then, hey? (((((((((RDV))))))))) great thought for a thread!

Kudos!!! Yes, aging is stimulating as long as you keep moving, keep learning, keep looking at every sunrise, sunset... every sun shower, enjoy every moment... every new experience, and person you encounter...........xo all theo

[avoice]

Are you more likely to die on your birthday ?
Posted on Monday, 11 June, 2012 | 9 comments

Image credit: Joey Gannon


A Swiss study has revealed that you are 14% more likely to die on your birthday than on any other day.

The remarkable statistic was reached following an analysis of over 2.4 million deaths over 40 years, with the risks climbing even higher the older you are. Several theories have been put forward to explain why this should be so, some researchers believe that the 'postponement theory' might explain a lot of cases; this is when a gravely ill person might try to hold out until their birthday in an attempt to reach the next age milestone.

Other theories include deaths due to drug overdosing at parties and even those who take the birthday blues one step too far and opt to end their own life.

Results extracted from a vast amount of data concluded that there were 13. 8 percent more deaths on birthdays when compared with any other day of the year. The risk increased with age, with the figure rising to 18 percent in people aged over 60. Happy Birthday: You're probably going to die - study

by: By staff writers From: NewsCore June 11, 2012 11:58AM
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Careful how you hold that cake, you're more likely to die on you're birthday than on any other day. Picture: Elizabeth Hachem / Thinkstock Source: Supplied
A NEW study has revealed you are 14 per cent more likely to die on your birthday.

The Swiss study, published in the Annals of Epidemiology, analyzed 2.4 million deaths over a 40-year period and showed that the "birthday blues" can be lethal, The Independent reported Sunday.

Results extracted from a vast amount of data concluded that there were 13.8 percent more deaths on birthdays when compared with any other day of the year. The risk increased with age, with the figure rising to 18 percent in people aged over 60.

Birthday fatality figures for individual diseases show that there was an 18.6 percent increased risk of dying from cardiovascular disease, including heart attacks, and a higher risk of up to 21.5 percent for strokes on birthdays. There was also a 10.8 percent rise in deaths among people with cancer.

A 34.9 percent rise in suicides amongst men was noted and a 28.5 percent increase in accidental deaths. There was also a 44 percent rise in fatal falls on birthdays.

Researchers are divided when it comes to explaining why people are more likely to die on their birthdays. One possible explanation -- the postponement theory -- suggests that gravely ill people wait until their birthday in an attempt to reach another milestone. But some researchers say the postponement theory is not entirely supported by their findings.

Alternatively, the anniversary theory argues the birthday event itself is responsible for the increased likelihood of death.

Authors of the study said stress played a significant part in birthday deaths, attributing fatalities to an "anniversary reaction" more commonly understood as the "birthday blues."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^woah...we be speaking of the grim guy???

I like him...we met a couple of times during the course of my life...no, wait

more than a couple!!!--Seemed like a jolly fellow to me

"Well, I'm not scared of dying and I don't really care
if it's peace ya find in dying; well then let the time be near

If it's peace ya find in dyin, and when dying time is here..
Well bundle up my comforts cause it is cold way down there......

.......

and when I die, and when I'm dead dead and gone.......
There'll be (two children) born
And a world to carry on... to carry on"~~~~~~~Laura Nyro

Song reflects my thoughts on death.

I Know I am not "indispensable" to this world, to those who claim to love me...
I also Know I took care of all the loose ends in my life... my kids, at 35 & 36 with kids of their own? Well, they will go on...and the life of my genes will continue...

No one will miss me... no dirty laundry, no dishes in the sink...Peace at long last.

still cwazee after a lllllll these years!

Great point as always!! ((((((((((a voice))))))))) wuvs ya!!!

[avoice]

Originally Posted by theodora

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^woah...we be speaking of the grim guy???

I like him...we met a couple of times during the course of my life...no, wait

more than a couple!!!--Seemed like a jolly fellow to me

"Well, I'm not scared of dying and I don't really care
if it's peace ya find in dying; well then let the time be near

If it's peace ya find in dyin, and when dying time is here..
Well bundle up my comforts cause it it cold way down there......

.......

and when I die, and when I'm dead dead and gone.......
There'll be (two children) born
And a world to carry on... to carry on"~~~~~~~Laura Nyro

Song reflects my thoughts on death.

I Know I am not "indispensable" to this world, to those who claim to love me...
I also Know I took care of all the loose ends in my life... my kids, at 35 & 36 with kids of their own? Well, they will go on...and the life of my genes will continue...

No one will miss me... no dirty laundry, no dishes in the sink...Peace at long last.

still cwazee after a lllllll these years!

Great point as always!! ((((((((((a voice))))))))) wuvs ya!!!

I'll miss you cause your important to me theodora. As my 4 year grandson said to me. I ask him to check my mail. He said Grandma no mail today. I said i guess i'm not important. He said back to me grandma you important to me. Made my day. Coming from a 4 year old imagine that?

Originally Posted by avoice

Are you more likely to die on your birthday ?

While it cannot be completely confirmed, William Shakespeare is reported and celebrated to have been born and have died on April 23. (Just thought you'd want to know).

[thickntired]

The older I get the happier I am by a long shot. I feel less inclined to please everyone and give myself more of a break. I hated my teens & 20's so much I still have nightmares. IMO you have a good outlook and you too will enjoy your 40's and beyond.

Peace,

TnT

[noneedtoknow]

Well, unfortunetly I have a scewed view-I see old people all the time in the ER and they tell me all of the time things like "These golden years arn't so golden" and "Getting old isn't for sissys" and I see the crippling and the pains and the unable to care for's and a whole lotta not nice. So I have to remind myself that for now, today I got to take care of myself-some changes are inevitable as we age, but I can control alot of it if I want to (although my mother had an accident at work, broke her back and it aged her alot. She had to work incredibly hard to rehabilitate. Part of the consequences was she also ended up having bilat hip replacements-again worked incredibly hard to rehab but she has aged-otherwise, she would be in a wheelchair now)
I have to remember there are older folks in good health out there still enjoying life-going back to school, traveling (did you see about the 75 year old female bodybuilder? Wow, what an inspiration!) and I can CHOOSE to do that/be that it doesn't have to be all doom and gloom.
I also would like to break some stereotypes around "old" people and what is acceptable for them to do/not do. I can mosh at an Avenged Sevenfold concert and the rest of the world bedamned.
The bottom line is this is your/my life. Make it what you will given what you have. Age is just a number and yet it is very real. It is so much in how you think about it. Sometimes I think of that song by Pink Floyd (time?) And then one day you'll find, ten years has gone behind you, no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun. And later-shorter of breath and one day closer to death. Yup, that be all of us. Better get busy living, or get busy dying. Sorry about going on but I know I have some issues around aging and this was good to clarify/remind myself.
Have a good day

[noneedtoknow]

Oh, shite, I have a birthday comming up in the next few weeks-hope I'm not in that 14 percent, at least not at this time
Might feel different next week, check back then

[avoice]

I wish my Birthday was coming up soon so maybe it would be my lucky day. And leave the universe. God please pick my number soon.

(((((((((((((((((avoice))))))))))))))))) I need need need to know you are on this planet

ALIVE with me...........what's the point in living at all if one does not have a most dear friend like you to cut up and laugh with in this mad world; in full understanding of one another; and the warped sense of humor the two of us have in common?

No birthdays for you! If you ain't here, I don't wanna be here either! You mean so much to the quality of my life.......especially in these dark times for you... you are at your best--wow, you are amazing....When I grow upI want to be just like you! (((a voice)))

((((((RDV))))))) life ain't worth nuthin if ya can't take the cruelest pain in your life; and have someone somewhere who will help you to laugh in the face of it all--you have helped me many times with your beautiful music which you teach me!, dear (((((RDV))))!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~xotheo

[gma45]

Alright Hold it Right there No One's going no where!!! We are all to ornery to be leaving any time soon!!!! At least this is what I hope, I am just getting to like it here! lol! I have worked hard for all my wrinkles! 50 hasn't been that easy lots of changes, but 21 was worse in my book! I am looking at 55 here soon and all I can think of is....I can't drive 55! can't think of any other lines in the song! O WELL! take care all!

[Raindropvampire]

This morning I got some insight to why it bothers my boss. She came in at 6am and was griping about how old she feels and she needs more sleep. She said she couldn't believe that I was always "perky" in the morning. Well we went to the backroom and she once again started in on how she was dreading her b-day and wasn't I and maybe we should just both ignore them this year. I told her that no I wasn't going to ignore it. I was going to embrace it and then settle into my new age. She blew a gasket. She said "You have these 19 and 20 year old guys hitting on you all the time!! The oldest I've ever heard someone guess your age is 26! Usually people think you're about 23 or 24. Maybe if I still looked like a kid then it wouldn't effing bother me so much! But all these guys hit on you at work and you just blow them off because you're married. No offense but you are batshit crazy and yet you still found someone that adores you! I'm old, ugly and alone." This went on for about 20 more minutes and she just bawled. (We went to school together and while we were never friends it was a tiny school and everyone knew everybody's business. So she knows ALL about me)

I gave her a hug and let her cry. Then I told her I think you're beautiful and I have faith you will find someone that adores you. And for once I was really able to articulate my thoughts I told her "You know about my bipolar, bad childhood and all the other "issues" I've had in my life. I guess aging doesn't bother me because it shows my strength. When I turn 36 I will be able to hold my head high and say HA HA I have survived. No matter what has been thrown at me I made it! I didn't give in! I didn't give up! I showed I have courage, perseverance and fortitude! I'm proud of myself for making it this far and I can only imagine how proud I will be in 36 more years." Then I asked her if that made sense and she said yes and gave me a hug.