[ForeverLonelyGirl]

Once again, my body is doing weird things. I am contributing this to the whole klonopin withdrawal fiasco but this is a new and disturbing trend.

For the past three days I have been feeling strange. With feeling like I am jittery inside and my entire body is vibrating, mostly in my chest and head. I did have some caffeine the other day that seemed to really set me off. I had about 2 mugs of half caff coffee. That seems ridiculous to me but whatever.

Heart is pounding, now this is day 3 and I am still like this. I have been busy as a bee, making my son a fancy birthday cake. It took a day and a half, stayed up till 2:30 am decorating it. Went out to celebrate his birthday for an early dinner and felt almost high. After that, I have been on the computer all night, reading lots of news articles. Thinking of all the things I would like to read, making lists of books to read, posting photos on facebook, inviting a neighbor to come over, etc. Then reading about traveling and seriously considering that. My mind is really racing. Seems like I am getting more anxious as I write this. I have all these things I want to do tonight and I feel motivated to do them. Now I am getting too anxious to do anything. Possibly it's the caffeine but I feel like my chest is going to explode!

On down days, I cannot think of a single thing that I would like to read or do, much less think seriously about traveling or taking a road trip. I cannot even take a day trip due to my anxiety with the prospect of all that driving and being out of my normal, quiet stay at home routine.
I've never been diagnosed as being bipolar, I hope this is not a new development because of the withdrawal.

[~Christina]

It could be any number of things, How much sleep are you actually getting ? Regardless, you should report this to your pdoc. Bipolar is a very complex disorder, you don't want that label unless it really is. Talk to your Pdoc and see what happens.

My husband often gets in moods of super amounts of energy and thinks of all kinds of things to put on a to do list... He has no MI , he just gets huge bursts of : Oh god I want to do a zillion things done"

I hope you find some middle ground to just park in for a while. You my dear are in need of a damn break find some peace.

good luck.

let us know the outcome

[ForeverLonelyGirl]

Christina, I have not truly slept soundly for 22 months now, but on good nights about 6 hours. It is restless and fitful at times, then I have 2 or 3 nights like tonight where I am so wound up that I don't sleep more than an hour or two before I give up and get out of bed. I think that has taken a toll on me as much as anything because it has been going on so very long.

I've had these kinds of moods before for a day but in a much milder form. Caffeine really affects me in small amounts, especially on the days that I am already wound up. Now at day 3 of being so high strung, it gets difficult to feel like a sane person. I don't think I am bipolar.

I do not have nor can I afford a P doc any longer. Plus I cannot take any psych meds, antidepressants quit working on me after klonopin rearranged my brain chemistry into a jumbled mess it seems. I think I have treatment resistant depression. Not sure how much longer I can hang with all this. Being so wired up and all my muscles feeling so tensed up unless I do my deep breathing to relax, it's no wonder I can't sleep. P docs do tend to lean towards meds in most cases, not sure that they could help me in any way. I could afford to go maybe once every 6 months but I fear he/she would just make me angry and frustrated unless I happened to find the rare empathetic one.

I agree that I am way overdue for a break. What I would give for a good night's sleep! Guess it wouldn't hurt to try and find what is reputed to be a good psych md or therapist. I've tried before many times to find someone decent. I am open to trying again.

[Mygrandjourney]

Originally Posted by ForeverLonelyGirl

Christina, I have not truly slept soundly for 22 months now, but on good nights about 6 hours. It is restless and fitful at times, then I have 2 or 3 nights like tonight where I am so wound up that I don't sleep more than an hour or two before I give up and get out of bed. (snip)............................
P docs do tend to lean towards meds in most cases, not sure that they could help me in any way. I could afford to go maybe once every 6 months but I fear he/she would just make me angry and frustrated unless I happened to find the rare empathetic one.

I agree that I am way overdue for a break. What I would give for a good night's sleep! Guess it wouldn't hurt to try and find what is reputed to be a good psych md or therapist. I've tried before many times to find someone decent. I am open to trying again.

Do you have access to anyone who can help? Who has prescribed the Klonopin? Although this may not specifically apply to you there have been a couple of interesting threads on Klonopin in the Addiction forum. IMHO, I would not have expectations of P-docs other than evaluating you for appropriate, hopefully helpful, medications. They may also guide further treatment or confirm a diagnosis or re-diagnose you. That is all most insurances and agencies allow for. Therapists do the bulk of talk therapy these days. I assume that you know that Medicaid has expanded greatly in the past year and will cover mental health treatment under a certain income level? You may be able to get some type of coverage.

[amandalouise]

only you and your treatment providers know whether you are having a manic phase. everyones manic phase is different example I know when I am in manic phase when my wife tells me I am talking real fast and I find I am making snap decisions rather than thinking the situation out. my wife on the other hand knows when she is in manic phase when she gets the urge to go to the gym every day and is easily irritated.

my suggestion if you think you are in manic phase contact your treatment providers or one in your location, there is some really good meds that can help slow things down for you to an even less manic state of mind.

[ForeverLonelyGirl]

I think what I have been experiencing is just a prolonged episode of anxiety and possibly trying to fight off a flu. I was exposed to it a week ago I think. At present I do not have a therapist or P doc. It ouwld be nice to know that I had some professional support but I just do not and have not had any luck finding a therapist that I can afford.

I don't qualify for medicaid, I make so, so much money. The only community mental health center is tragic and their copay is as high as any other therapist I might find. No local universities that would have students either. If there was any possibility of talking with a therapist I would do it, believe me.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by ForeverLonelyGirl

I think what I have been experiencing is just a prolonged episode of anxiety and possibly trying to fight off a flu. I was exposed to it a week ago I think. At present I do not have a therapist or P doc. It ouwld be nice to know that I had some professional support but I just do not and have not had any luck finding a therapist that I can afford.

I don't qualify for medicaid, I make so, so much money. The only community mental health center is tragic and their copay is as high as any other therapist I might find. No local universities that would have students either. If there was any possibility of talking with a therapist I would do it, believe me.

you are in the USA right? well heres something you might not be aware of... the USA now has a nationwide law stating all americans must have either private insurance, job related insurance or medicaid/medicare. all of which must have basic medical mental and dental coverage. Social services (medicaid) had to lower their income brackets allowing for those who did not have job related or could not afford private insurance. American's that do not get health insurance will soon be getting hefty fines. (the name of the law is the affordable care act otherwise known as Obamacare) the government website

https://www.healthcare.gov/?gclid=CM...FYOUfgod_YcA9Q

is open for new registrations for nationwide affordable healthcare insurance plans until February 15th.

suggestion contact your medicaid and medicare offices. They can tell you what your states new standards as of January 2015 are and how to get the right insurance plans for your needs and financial means. or click on the link.

once you get registered and have chosen the plan that fits your bidget and needs you will be able to look on that insurance plan to see what treatment providers you can choose from in the areas of medical, mental and dental health care.

[ForeverLonelyGirl]

I do have medicare insurance. The copay for any therapist is $40. Therapists are often social workers, not medical doctors or psychologists. I think that is ludicrous considering that my medical primary doctor is only a $15 copay. It's not that I don't go to stand on principle, it is that I just cannot afford it. Twice a month (at minimum) visits would be 80 dollars that I just cannot afford. That's grocery money.

Am I wrong? Some therapists would say that I don't have my priorities in order, that I should shell out the money for this. I agree I need it. A lot of times going to therapy felt like paying someone to listen to all my troubles. We should have friends for that purpose, or someone close. I understand that no one really wants to hear all that every day though. Another double edged sword decision for me.

Thanks for trying to help amandalouise. By the way, medicare makes NO provision for any dental care whatsoever. I had a long conversation with my insurance company trying to understand how this is possible, dental health, if not attended to can ruin your physical health. What a conundrum!

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by ForeverLonelyGirl

I do have medicare insurance. The copay for any therapist is $40. Therapists are often social workers, not medical doctors or psychologists. I think that is ludicrous considering that my medical primary doctor is only a $15 copay. It's not that I don't go to stand on principle, it is that I just cannot afford it. Twice a month (at minimum) visits would be 80 dollars that I just cannot afford. That's grocery money.

Am I wrong? Some therapists would say that I don't have my priorities in order, that I should shell out the money for this. I agree I need it. A lot of times going to therapy felt like paying someone to listen to all my troubles. We should have friends for that purpose, or someone close. I understand that no one really wants to hear all that every day though. Another double edged sword decision for me.

Thanks for trying to help amandalouise. By the way, medicare makes NO provision for any dental care whatsoever. I had a long conversation with my insurance company trying to understand how this is possible, dental health, if not attended to can ruin your physical health. What a conundrum!

in some states medicare does have dental coverage but it has to be something major. example dental work done during hospitalization, dental work needed due to accadents....medicare started carrying limited dental coverage in 1980.sorry to hear your medicare company does not cover dental.

[Izabella23]

Nice post dear!!