CONSIDERING EACH OTHER'S ILLNESSES

Does anyone do this? Does anyone take into account that we are all suffering from various illness here?

If we do, then WHY are we so vicious to one another?

What would provoke someone to start playing head-games with another person? Do we not get enough of this IRL that we have to bring this kind of crap here - a place designed by the good graces of someone else - where we come for support and understanding????

Tell me why?

I am not talking about misunderstandings, or difference of opinions, or even shooting off a reply in anger that we would not otherwise have written? I am talking about outright viciousness!

Please, someone explain this to me before my head explodes!!!!!

Altered state, a community this size is going to have its difficulties. It's just going to happen and we all work to do the best we can when those times occur.

If this is about a specific issue, please PM me.

KD

Well? Anyone?

I'm not sure what you're referring to AS, but there are a few people here who trigger me....... and from what I've heard that is so for many of the longer term members. Sometimes the only thing to do is try to "ignore" until or if the confilct or "viciousness" blows over and to put it down to peoples triggers clashing. I think that can be a cause of huge misunderstandings and what seems to be or even is "nastiness"...... Don't know if this makes any sense?

Also, I've seen online people "acting out" their childhood traumas online. I've even done so myself That can certainly cause what seems to be "viciousness" A very wise member here said something about us "allowing our shadow self to post"...... not a good idea usually

But once people realise that is what has happened, hopefully things will improve. It takes a lot of time and patience which isn't in plentiful supply always with other IRL stressors and other factors....

Hello Altered State.
You know that I care very much for your situation and since you are not getting the answer you are seeking at ths time, I will give you the answer I believe is the Most Important Answer to your question. Anytime you take people and try to make people conform to one Unity, then you will have issues and intolerances, so therefore the Most Important Answer to any question such as this is : To Keep yourself and your mental health SAFE, and TRY NOT to worry about things that can harm you in some way either emotionally, Physically, or mentally and let the Administrators and Moderators do Their Job, and not try to get the answers you dont want to hear anyway, that may do more harm in the long run not just to you Altered, but to the others at Psych Central as well. Sometimes the most important lesson in life is letting someone else take care of things and keep ourselves safe emotionally, physically, and mentally. Sincerity to you always Altered. take care and good day. Soidhonia

Hon, in my estimation, I think it IS the illness speaking or it's a coping mechanism for some people.

Maybe a person will have felt while growing up that they didn't have a voice; no one listened, so they've learned to express themselves in what seems an angry tone.

Some people crave attention and have different ways of getting it.

Some may have been controlled all their life and now seek to control others.

Some still carry the anger that was formed and nurtured in them in the past and it spills out.

Some have been deeply wounded emotionally and they've learned to be on the defensive all the time.

Some have learned to manipulate others to get what they want/need.

Like Fuzzy said, sometimes triggers clash... and oh boy, do they clash!

The best we can do is take care of how we respond but mostly, HOW we take care of ourselves.

I sorta think you might get more luck if you either PM the person or speak to a mod as no-one can really be sure what you are talking about.

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no-one can really be sure what you are talking about.

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I am talking in generalities here. I don't think I am the only person who has experienced viciousness to an unacceptable degree, but I do think it is important to shed light about behaviours "unbecoming" of us all.

I am not proclaiming any innocence on my part, because I know I tend to speak in strong terms, but there is a line that must be drawn - even for me!

Vicious attacks meant to misrepresent or to malign someone, in my opinion, is WAY over the line.

Details are not needed to get this message across, and I will not play into that.

Altered State

I was not trying to get you to play into anything, that was why I suggested you go to a mod. Thats the normal practice.

All I meant is that it seems one of those posts that cant really be answered due to the nature of its generality.

If it is specific it should go to a mod.

I dont think there is anyone who would/could argue that it was correct to post in a vicious manner.

I think allthegirls has the right attitude. Maybe bringing this up with the mods or PM is the way to go, otherwise it becomes a passive way of shaming someone? When the intent as I read it is for understanding of each other? So lets live it to the mods.

Oh, sorry ATG6, I didn't mean to imply that you were trying to do that.

And you are right...this certainly is a question that truly can't be answered.

It is just all too much, sometimes, and I just don't know how to deal.

Receiving replies such as yours, and others, is, however, helping!

Good post mouse_

I for one, have got a lot from this thread though as sweeping stuff/everything under the carpet doesn't work and was all too prevelant in my childhood.... to an immense and damaging extent.

"Vicious" attacks do occur sometimes when people are triggered, it's an unfortunate fact.... on this website some are removed and some are not, in my opinion........ and AS did say she wasn't completely "innocent" herself... maybe trying to "improve" for each of us is a good way forward and of course the old saying "know thyself"....(or something)

This is not directed at you, mouse_ or anyone here, I've lurked and posted on several other boards and it's just some general ramblings

Back to the cave

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I am talking in generalities here... I do think it is important to shed light about behaviours "unbecoming" of us all.

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It can be a good thing if we don't take it personally and get defensive!

sometimes, i step in and remind everyone that we're all crazy. occasionally that helps....but i know what you're speaking of......xoxoxo pat

Pat LOL! Its really quite funny when you think the board we're all part off LOL..ie, mental health LOL! SOme days I'm fine and wise and all together and others well LOL, its like ok, so whose running the loony bin? LOLPMP!!!

I have not seen or experienced viciousness. I hope that if I ever said anything that someone felt was viscious that they would let me know because that would never be my intent.

I don't think I've seen visciousness here. I have seen differences of opinion which I think is healthy.

I've posted things that I later thought were pretty stupid or too self-centered and imagined I was being left out because of it.

I think this is a very supportive place. It might depend on how a peson defines support or what they are looking for, for themselves.

I don't know what your situation is or was that prompted your post here, but I do hope you feel better.

ECHOES

If one held a gun to my head and made me answer the question. . . I remember as a child my stepmother admonishing me with "pretty is as pretty does" which she would rephrase to suite her meaninghttp://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/...as+pretty+does I'd say here, "vicious is as vicious does" not meaning YOU are vicious AlteredState but that it's the old tale of someone being hurt in the past and passing it on down "blindly"? There are people who don't "get it" or who are only in the early stages of getting it and have only known/"worked with" violence and other uglinesses. I do sometimes feel very badly for people who were genuinely raised very very wrong and literally don't know better and/or make crummy choices. I have a tongue that was honed by my stepmother and brother to a fine sarcastic edge and my wit would have you laughing even as you bled to death but some people have no wit. . .

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it's the old tale of someone being hurt in the past and passing it on down "blindly"? (

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Blindly is NOT how I am treading. In fact, what I am trying to do is bring something into the light.

I have not accused anyone, nor have I implicated in any way, anyone here. All I am doing is expressing my disappointment and frustrations. It so happens that this time, it is coming from within what I believe is a sanctuary, and not from RL (real life).

I cannot control if one feels guilty or annoyed by what I am saying, because that is not my intent, but do I not have the right to express my frustrations - without convicting anyone - for the betterment of us all?

I will state again, I am not putting myself above anyone else here, for I am just as suseptible to this behaviour as everyone else is.

If it will make some feel better, then let's just say this is a reminder for MYSELF to act and behave in a loving manner - just made publicly. So, when I do behave in ways that contradict what I believe, then, I am opening up myself to be taken to task for it - publicly.

I am aware that we are all at different stages in our illness and that we can also wander in and out of these stages. I, too, feel great sympathy for ALL OF US - truly!! We shouldn't have to deal with so much pain all the time.

I am an idealist and always hope for, and will even try to create a place of serentity for all of us, here. (although, doing so in anger and frustration may seem condradictory and is not always the most appropriate way in dealing with some issues, it does, however, garner attention, now doesn't it? And THAT is what my intention is!)

Just because I am angered about something, does not mean that I have lost RESPECT or LOVE or SYMPATHY for everyone or anyone here. Please know that!

Altered State

AS

This is my opinion and the best answer i can come close to for the wonderfull question ..

We are all here for different reason with different diagnosis. Therefore when we make our posts sometimes we do not always take in mind others feelings. We at sometimes are selfish in mind and we are attempting to suffice a need or wants..

I think because the diiferences of backgrounds that we all share we should take in consideration of others but on the other hand we cannot agree with everyones opnions/backgrounds/condtions so therefore post what you want ahd hopefully it can be excepted for whatever content it has . But AS this forum is built on others and yourself and because we are individuals we are all destinctly different .

I can truly appreciate your insight and I have seen some of the vicious attatcks before but once aagin they are whom they are and you are you . hold your head up high it is only opinions and life instances that we respond with


ttyl

Tymber

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AlteredState01 said:
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it's the old tale of someone being hurt in the past and passing it on down "blindly"? (

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Blindly is NOT how I am treading. In fact, what I am trying to do is bring something into the light.

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<font color="purple"> ((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))) </font>

I am truly sorry for how you are feeling, and trust me - the light has been shed before.... so now it is up to each and every person to do their best to treat all members thru an example of how we would like them to treat us.... NO EXCEPTIONS!!!

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

i just had a lightbulb moment. i won't consider someone else's illness until i've considered my own........and until that happens here, with each poster, we're up the proverbial creek without that cute paddle..............

It's always been my belief that you've got to give kindness and thoughtfulness first before you will receive.