[January]

My surgeon has refused to do the biopsies. We had quite a discussion. It was in no way an argument, but I told him what the endo told me to tell him. Because she hasn't sent her letter yet, he didn't believe me!

I went to him over a year ago about these lymphs. He just wants to wait and watch. Well, I've waited and watched and the only thing I know is that they hurt more and are more enlarged.

I don't have any idea who I can get to do the biopsies. I've never needed another general surgeon. I saw my pdoc today and she said if the endo can't think of anyone, to go to my family dr and tell him what's happened and see if he can refer me out to someone. (Actually, my family Dr. is a she, but she's having a baby, so I'm seeing her hubby right now.)

So, now I wait and see if I can get help.

I was trying to get my mail today and the apt blg's biggest loud mouth who swears we were friends in high school even though I never laid eyes on her there, caught me in the mail room. Her language would make a sailor blush. I have quit answering the door when she knocks because she makes me so nervous, never has anything postive to say and always puts me down. No matter how sick I am, she's sicker or someone she knows is much more ill. No matter what, she dismisses my illnesses as nothing.

She constantly harps that I am sick all the time. Well, if I wasn't sick, I couldn't live here! It's housing for the disabled and elderly!

I really hoped she would get the idea that I didn't want to associate with her when no matter how much she literally pounded on my door, I wouldn't answer.

Obviously, she didn't get it. She started in about me not answering my door. I told her I had been sick. That set her off and she started telling me I've been sick forever but her cousin's husband, (or someone), had cancer and she was upset over it. That's when I lost it.

I spoke my truth and made her move out of my way. She was blocking my way out of the mailroom.

I hate losing my temper. I hate it. I am always left shell shocked and horrified.

Jan

[selfy]

dont worry jan,,,tis good to get emotions out
i dread the day in which i snap infont of a partivular friend of mine, she is quite nassarcistic and drives me upthe wall. i have known her since first school but havent seen much of her since her parents split. i suppose it is a teeny blessingg in a way, otherwise she woulda driven me nuts already
i dont think she is the best person 4 your self esteem. maybe you should put person repellers on the door....oh no wait that would repel every 1.... nm
take care janny
self

[sabby]

((((((((((((((Jan))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry hon. I hope you can find a good referral soon! Why does everything have to be such a struggle???

As for the nosey witchy neighbor....don't loose any sleep over her. She obviously has nothing better to do with her time than to berate and belittle. She was probably treated like that all her life and never knew how to be a respectable friend. She deserved your anger...but I'm willing to bet she doesn't even understand it or take it in as anything she did wrong. Those types never do...they keep going like the energizer bunny *sigh*

Relax tonight my friend....forget her. She's not worth your aggrevation hon.

Sending you warm and loving hugs!

xoxoxo
J

Jan, can you have your Dr.'s offic fax him the letter? Was that the only reason he wouldn't do it?

Wouldn't he have been able to tell that your lymph nodes are enlarged?

((( Jan )))

[January]

((((((((( Selfy )))))))))

Thank you, dear heart. I hope the person that drives you crazy stays away from you.

Hugs,

Jan

[January]

(((((( Sabau ))))))))

Thank you so much. The reason I hate it so much is that I'm sure she doesn't realize why she aggravates others so much... Aargh.

I will try not to think about it tonight, but I can't make any promises.

Hugs,

Jan

[January]

((((((( Pet ))))))))

That surgeon has been watching those lymph nodes get bigger and bigger for over a year. He had me coming back every three months.

He looked at them today. My underarm is swollen to the size of half of a grapefruit. He not only looked at them today, he poked them so that they still are throbbing.

I honestly believe he thinks I'm a fruitcake and he can brush everything away because of it.

I am going to call the endo tomorrow and report that he won't do the biopsies. I've got the name of another surgeon. I'm going to call his office tomorrow.

I have to be at the imaging center at 9:15 in the morning to have a thyroid ultrasound and and MRI of the head and neck. They're going to settle the question once and for all of if I have a brain.

Hugs,

Jan

They're going to settle the question once and for all of if I have a brain.

I could save you some money.





Stupid suregeon.

[January]

I liked how you went right from to "stupid surgeon" .

Would that be considered passive/aggressive?

[lenjan]

(((((((Jan))))))) Standing up for myself last week made me so sick I had panic attacks and had to take a day off work. So I have an idea of how you feel -- but it sounds like it needed to be done. Good job on taking care of yourself. I guess I finally got lucky -- my next-door neighbor (it's a side-by-side duplex) is a state trooper and seems to be fairly normal and my landlady lives in the house next door and is 75 and harmless. But I certainly have had my share of crappy neighbors. It's one of the perils of apartment life, I think.

Let us know how everything goes tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you.



Love, Candy

[January]

((((((((( Candy ))))))))))

Thank you.

I'm glad you finally got some good neighbors. What a relief!

Hugs,

Jan

You are a fighter and one of the most positive person I have ever known. You are trully wonderful!

(((((((((((January)))))))))))

[okiedokie]

Hi Jan,
Gosh, what a rotten day indeed! I must say, even if subjectively he DID think you were a fruitcake, he still has objective findings to indicate doing those biopsies. That doesn't make sense to me, and I work in the medical field. An enlarged lymph node is one of the first objective indications for biopsy. Very weird. Could he possibly think you are drug seeker? Some patients literally go from surgery to surgery just to keep their pain meds flowing. That could easily be cleared up by communication amongst your caregivers.

As far as your weird neighbor -- now SHE sounds like a fruitcake!! I wouldn't pay her no never mind. As one of her disabilities, it appears she may have a PD. I'm sorry that she took her issues out on you. Try not to take her stuff personally. I actually taught a class all day today to other medical professionals about how to respond to just such situations! We get called every name in the book, get hit, kicked, bit, spit on, peed on, etc., etc., and we can't take it personally. If we did there would be no healthcare workers!

Try to get some rest. I agree with others here that your neighbor probably won't be affected one iota by your anger.

Please let me know if I can provide you with some key phrases that may help you to communicate your needs/concerns to your physicians.

Lastly, YOU ARE NOT A FRUITCAKE!!
Luv ya,
Okie

[EJ711]

Stupid, stupid, stupid surgeon!!!




Hugs,

EJ

[Bethsway]

January...sorry about your neighbor...you don't need a pushy one like that right now...Hope your new surgeon will do what has to be done...thinking of you and wishing you well!!!!!

[Wants2Fly]

(((((((((((((January)))))))))))))))

I've noticed that some people -- and it sounds like the neighor is one -- CANNOT TAKE A HINT.

They push and push and push, and the only way they get the message is when it is presented in a loud and angry voice. So like others here, I would say -- don't worry about it.

[January]

(((((((( Time0 )))))))))

Thank you, dear heart!

Hugs,

Jan

[January]

(((((((( Okie ))))))))))

I called the endo today and her staff already has an appt for me to be seen Thursday by another surgeon.

I can't possibly be thought of a person who is seeking pain meds because I've never asked the first surgeon for some.

Thank you so very much for validating my thoughts about the lymph nodes.

Well, I ran into the nasty neighbor again in the mail room. I did manage a, "Hey". She turned her back and didn't speak. Of course all my "I should haves and I shouldn't haves" started in but I stopped it. Four years of forced politeness is too much.

Hugs,

Jan

[January]

(((((((((( Beth ))))))))))))))

Thank you so very, very much.

Hugs,

Jan

[January]

((((((( Wants ))))))))))

Thank you so much. I wasn't loud until she wouldn't move so I could walk past her. She had trapped me in the mailroom. It's not actually a room. It's the width of a walk in closet.

Hugs,

Jan

[January]

I hope so much I haven't left anyone out. Please, please tell me if I have. I dread accidentally hurting someone's feelings.

Jan

((( Jan )))

Has the surgeon said why he doesn't want to do the biopsies?

You can always get 2nd or 3rd opinions...

Have you researched this? There are some areas of the body they don't like to biopsy because it can allow cells to get out and move to other areas. Could they be containing this in this way?

You deserve to have a full explanation of what they are doing or not doing and why.

((( Jan ))))

P.S. You could never hurt anyone's feelings, you are so sweet!

[January]

(((((((((( Echoes ))))))))))

I have an appt. with a new surgeon Thursday. If he says no biopsies, I'll let it go. The lymphs are under my arms and there is one on my neck. There was no explaination other than, "It won't help you." You guys know as much about it as I do.

Hugs,

Jan

I'm glad you have an appointment with another surgeon.

Can you take someone with you to help listen to all the surgeon says or to take notes for you? It's often so hard to remember all they have to say when it's over and done
with.

I hope you'll let us know how it goes Thursday, if you feel like sharing that.

((((( Jan )))))