Feeling guilt

Do any of you feel you have too many sick days from your job? I'm undiagnosed so far with my current problem. ... In fact I have an assessment tomorrow.
I had to quit my job in 2014 due to an eating disorder I became too unwell. I overcame that and now I have been on an SSRI for symptoms of what is either depression or bipolar. I am all over the place. The medication has given me the worst side effects. My brain is racing but I can't even remember what i did 5 minutes ago..
I want a diagnosis. Purely because I want to know how to be stable. How to not have so many sick days. I feel so mixed right now. My thoughts are whizzing around my head but also the depression is set in. I don't want to move from my bed. My partner knows my issues but because I can be fine one minute and in bed the next he thinks I'm just lazy...I'm sure of it.
I feel like my life is unravelling and I'm not sure how to stop it.

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When we are in the midst of depression sometimes it can be hard to see the right things to do to help ourselves. I hope you get better soon because I know how hard depression can be.

I was also the victim of this sort of depression where you are in between the thoughts, few thinking said that I am right but few are against on this. Well, in this stage you have to change the environment and soon you will get recover from this depression

I quit one job because I was having panic attacks and could not make myself go in, and at that time I was also living with my ex, who was psychologically ( most of the time just psychologically/ verbally) abusive. I just had all I could take. I want to be able to handle a better paying job, but I have to consider what works for me right now.

I think you should talk to your doc about the side effects. Guilt doesn't help you, and I can definitely understand how it would make you feel like your partner is judging you. Try to have a conversation with him about it and express what is going on with you and your frustration with your situation. He may not be judging you, and ifnhemis, it might help to talk about what is going on. Take care!

Beau, how did the assessment go?

Waiting for another call... They said I need a further assessment regarding the mood swings.
I will let you know the outcome. Thanks for asking though that's really kind

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So the result of your assessment is that you need assessment? That's frustrating.

Yeah.... she said she needed somebody more qualified regarding my moods. I called today and they said they still haven't managed to get hold of the lady who is able to do my assessment. I'm feeling quite hopeless and upset by it all.

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Beau, it is hard to wait, but surely they will get ahold of her and it will get done and then you will have information to help you know what to do going forward. Hang in there!

Thanks. Just signed off work while I adjust to some new meds and had a call today to say the new team will call me this week for a more thorough assessment so feeling a little more positive

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Hey I thought I'd update you... I have been given an appointment in person on the 11th so feeling very positive. Thinking about writing down all my thoughts so I don't feel like I have nothing to say in the day. Maybe keep track of moods day to day until then! X

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Great! That is a good idea. Glad you are feeling positive. Let us know how it goes!