Basically I want to know: if I feel even a semblance of emotions, what emotions supposed to feel like, and how my feelings compare to the feelings of people who have a well functioning limbic system. I don't mean to upset anyone. I asked this in another forum a few months ago, and someone pointed out that I was upsetting the other members. I don't know if she meant by the question or other things. But if I am upsetting anyone by the question, just tell me.

I actually googled this (or, rather, what does a [specific emotion] feel like], and I didn't get a clear cut answer. The best explanation I've gotten was this about sadness: "yes, our emotions defiantly link to how we feel physically. usually, when people are sad, their whole energy level is low- so their blood pressure, & heart rate are going to be lower which may effect how we physically feel. Often times when I'm sad I get this sinking feeling in my stomach like someone hit me in the gut. It makes me feel just all around lousy, and usually just makes me feel sadder." -Catherine S on Yahoo Answers.

So is there a physical feeling in one's chest or stomach or wherever? You know, like those phrases used to describe the emotion of a character in a book ... "His stomach turned" ... "Her heart lept with joy" ... "My palms started sweating" ... Or are those the reactions caused by emotions, instead of the emotions themselves?

I'm sorry, I'm probably not making a whole lot of sense...

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Myers

Basically I want to know: if I feel even a semblance of emotions, what emotions supposed to feel like, and how my feelings compare to the feelings of people who have a well functioning limbic system. I don't mean to upset anyone. I asked this in another forum a few months ago, and someone pointed out that I was upsetting the other members. I don't know if she meant by the question or other things. But if I am upsetting anyone by the question, just tell me.

I actually googled this (or, rather, what does a [specific emotion] feel like], and I didn't get a clear cut answer. The best explanation I've gotten was this about sadness: "yes, our emotions defiantly link to how we feel physically. usually, when people are sad, their whole energy level is low- so their blood pressure, & heart rate are going to be lower which may effect how we physically feel. Often times when I'm sad I get this sinking feeling in my stomach like someone hit me in the gut. It makes me feel just all around lousy, and usually just makes me feel sadder." -Catherine S on Yahoo Answers.

So is there a physical feeling in one's chest or stomach or wherever? You know, like those phrases used to describe the emotion of a character in a book ... "His stomach turned" ... "Her heart lept with joy" ... "My palms started sweating" ... Or are those the reactions caused by emotions, instead of the emotions themselves?

I'm sorry, I'm probably not making a whole lot of sense...

everyone has their own ways of reacting to what they go through in their lives, work, stress, vacation time enjoyment, grief what ever.

example I get a stomach ache when I am nervous my partner has no stomach ache but gets hyper and cant sit still. when I experience something funny I laugh out loud, my partner has more quieter reaction giggle. when Im sad I need to go off on my own, when my partner is sad its a blanket and a warm drink and a box of tissues and a tear jerker movie. we both have our own feelings and how our bodies react to those feelings in each bodies own way and we have our our ways of expressing our feelings.

whatever you feel and however you react to how you feel and how you express your feelings is not going to compare good or bad and may not even match any anyone else here.

I am me, my partner is my partner, you are you and everyone here on Psych Central we are all each unique individuals with our own way to be, feel and react. thats true for medications, feelings likes, dislikes and everything its even documented how twins, triplets, quads, quints, octuplets each one is their own individual person with their own way to be and how they feel things and how they express things.

[shaggy dog]

Hi Myers I think I follow you but I'm not sure. In your last paragraph using the examples you gave 1) "His stomach turned..." this is only an action or reaction to something unstated, same thing for example 3. But in example 2 joy in definitely an emotion and the response to that emotion was that her heart lept. Is that what you mean or did I misunderstand your post. shaggy

[pegasus]

(((((( Myers )))))))

It sounds like you have become very detached from your own feelings and this can happen for many reasons. A child that was not allowed to be happy, had to suppress tears, became frightened by their own feelings because it 'felt' dangerous. Actually anxiety can mask all other feelings.

The fact that you are aware that you have somehow tucked your feelings away (this can also happen for self preservation) means you can gradually 'start' to feel. Allow yourself to do something you enjoy and note what feelings you have. Everyone feels things slightly differently so writing down what YOU actually feel at the time can be helpful. Also doing this with a therapist can be very beneficial but in the meantime you could start by writing a diary. The diary is for your viewing only (unless you wish to share with your therapist) where you can write down exactly what you feel and how it felt to you.

You might find at first that fear and anger over ride other feelings but gradually other feelings will come through.

Let me know how you get on.

[Perna]

An emotion is a feeling and feelings don't have words. But the only way someone can describe how they feel to another is through words.

But what "happens" isn't universal. Some people cry when they're happy, for example :-) Everyone has to learn about their own emotions and how they make them feel. Just like I can't tell you, "You should feel happy that X happened", I also can't tell you "Oh, you're feeling happy!"

There are some chemical component to emotions; sadness/distress/some other extreme feelings can cause a chemical chain reaction so one cries (that's why some psychiatric medicines have the side effect where a person literally cannot cry); that's physiology.

But how you personally interpret an event has a lot to do with what you feel about it and how aware you have made yourself of your feelings (how you have put them into words to "explain" them to yourself), your background and physiology/body/chemical composition, etc. all work together and aren't exactly like anyone else's. There is no "supposed to".

"Most people" don't like not getting what they want. But, some of those people are going to be angry about it, some people will get anxious, some people will be sad. It depends on the individual, not a set "rule".

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((Myers))))

It is hard for me to say what emotions and feelings are for I am just now beginning to have any. They are hard to have and hurt beyond anything I can say. I never cried or got angry or anything when I was young, it was not okay to have emotions or feelings. Fear is the only emotion I had and that was because they based what they did and the control on fear.

When a child gets in trouble for crying and gets spanked for doing so you learn to not cry and to pull everything within where it is safe and no one knows. For so long I never really had emotions and when I would get too close to feeling something everything shut down.

There are no words to tell how I really feel sometimes now, but I try. It hurts more than anyone knows and I still fear the whole time. Emitions are different for everyone and they are expressed differently. For me they were hidden until it was safe to have them, and now I am not sure how to deal with them.

So many times within we all knew to shut down so we could survive. Never let them see that you feel for it never mattered anyway. Sometimes it feels they just still do not do anything but hurt others. And sometimes I wonder if it matters today.

Thank you for posting and asking. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

[lynn P.]

Originally Posted by Myers

Basically I want to know: if I feel even a semblance of emotions, what emotions supposed to feel like, and how my feelings compare to the feelings of people who have a well functioning limbic system. I don't mean to upset anyone. I asked this in another forum a few months ago, and someone pointed out that I was upsetting the other members. I don't know if she meant by the question or other things. But if I am upsetting anyone by the question, just tell me.

I actually googled this (or, rather, what does a [specific emotion] feel like], and I didn't get a clear cut answer. The best explanation I've gotten was this about sadness: "yes, our emotions defiantly link to how we feel physically. usually, when people are sad, their whole energy level is low- so their blood pressure, & heart rate are going to be lower which may effect how we physically feel. Often times when I'm sad I get this sinking feeling in my stomach like someone hit me in the gut. It makes me feel just all around lousy, and usually just makes me feel sadder." -Catherine S on Yahoo Answers.

So is there a physical feeling in one's chest or stomach or wherever? You know, like those phrases used to describe the emotion of a character in a book ... "His stomach turned" ... "Her heart lept with joy" ... "My palms started sweating" ... Or are those the reactions caused by emotions, instead of the emotions themselves?

I'm sorry, I'm probably not making a whole lot of sense...

This is an interesting question and challenging to describe. When I 1st saw the title with your name, I felt sadness for you because you've shared in your posts, you're diagnosed as a psychopath. You can explain better than me how emotions or lack off are a challenge. I think you must be a high functioning psychopath - don't you think? I think most people don't realize psychopaths physiologically are challenged emotionally. I think Hollywood gave them a bad name - portraying them as choosing to be evil.

I would like to know what emotions you feel? Like when your baby was born a few months ago - what did you feel? When you watch something really funny, do you laugh until your stomach hurts? When someone in your family dies or gets seriously hurt - how do you feel? There are times when I sometimes wish I didn't have emotions. In a way I almost think emotions should be classified as one of the senses. I hope you get some interesting answers and I'm sorry this kind of topic didn't go well on another website.

Thanks everyone for your answers and concerns. 'Preciate it. But I can't learn to feel these emotions. Trust me, I've tried ... with the help of my therapist ... when I was still in therapy ... My lack of feeling frustrated him to no end ...

Originally Posted by lynn P.

I would like to know what emotions you feel? Like when your baby was born a few months ago - what did you feel? When you watch something really funny, do you laugh until your stomach hurts? When someone in your family dies or gets seriously hurt - how do you feel?

In all three scenarios ... a whole lotta nothin'. The only time I feel any semblance of what might be called emotion is when I get something I want or I fail to get something I want. A challenge is pretty exciting too. And, when I do succeed in something, the only "emotion" I get is very short lived, and probably superficial. But I don't really know the difference between superficial and real when it comes to emotions, so it's hard to say. It feels like ... I smile a bit, for a few minutes (and a lot of my smiles are feigned) ... and I suppose, enjoy it? I don't know... it's hard to explain. And my memories are completely void of emotion. So, whenever I recall something that was by definition "joyous" and recall that I was, at the time, joyful, I don't remember what I felt... I only remember that I was smiling, therefore I must have been joyful. Does that make any sense? Is that normal?

I don't even know if the emotions I seem to have are real, or if they're simply a reflection of other people's reactions. For example ... At my aunt's funeral, there were three groups of people: the "cryers", those folks who'd rather laugh over reminiscent stories of the deceased ... and my cousin, Billy, who'd rather talk about the latest sports score. As I migrated among these groups, my "emotions" changed. With the "reminiscers" and Billy, I laughed and joked about my aunt and discussed sports teams, although I didn't find any of their jokes or stories to be particularly funny, nor do I care for sports. Among the "criers", I appeared sad and even shed a few tears. I was really close to my aunt, and I thought her to be a strong, yet kind woman. But, the entire time, I felt nothing inside.

There are times when I sometimes wish I didn't have emotions.

Don't wish that. It's a very empty "feeling", and most of us end up in prison or hurting the ones that try to love us, even if we don't mean to.

emotion -- (any strong feeling)

• conditioned emotional response, CER, conditioned emotion -- (an emotional response that has been acquired by conditioning)
• anger, choler, ire -- (a strong emotion; a feeling that is oriented toward some real or supposed grievance)
• fear, fearfulness, fright -- (an emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific pain or danger (usually accompanied by a desire to flee or fight))
• fear, reverence, awe, veneration -- (a feeling of profound respect for someone or something; ``the fear of God"; "the Chinese reverence for the dead"; "the French treat food with gentle reverence"; "his respect for the law bordered on veneration'' )
• anxiety -- (a vague unpleasant emotion that is experienced in anticipation of some (usually ill-defined) misfortune)
• joy, joyousness, joyfulness -- (the emotion of great happiness)
• love -- (a strong positive emotion of regard and affection; ``his love for his work"; "children need a lot of love'' )
• hate, hatred -- (the emotion of intense dislike; a feeling of dislike so strong that it demands action)
• emotional state, spirit -- (the state of a person's emotions (especially with regard to pleasure or dejection); ``his emotional state depended on her opinion"; "he was in good spirits"; "his spirit rose'' )

http://www.eruptingmind.com/what-cau...ions-feelings/

They can be very painful.

[lynn P.]

Myers - what about anger - what does this feel like for you? It seems the movies portray psychopaths as being angry and vicious - I wonder if they feel anger, why do they feel joy - maybe a different part of the brain?

If you watch something very funny - have you ever laughed till you cried happy tears?

Since doctors know it's a certain part of the brain that lacks the emotions - wouldn't it be interesting, if they could fix or transplant that part of the brain (hypothetical of course).

I was also wondering since they say we don't use all of our brains and are also rebuilding new brain cells -could exposing someone who lacks emotions to emotional circumstances, help retrain the brain. Just grasping at straws here

Originally Posted by lynn P.

Myers - what about anger - what does this feel like for you? It seems the movies portray psychopaths as being angry and vicious - I wonder if they feel anger, why do they feel joy - maybe a different part of the brain?

For me, anger comes in short bouts of rage. They're very intense, but they only last seconds, a few minutes at most. They start almost immediately, and I usually end up throwing or hitting things. But when they end, it's as if nothing ever happened. But I'm starting to think those are just superficial reactions as well, considering the anger doesn't "stick". It's more like an adrenaline rush brought on by frustration than real emotion.

I rarely ever feel "joy", but when I do it's usually brought on by achieving something or the other. Winning, if you will. Yet again, that feeling doesn't "stick" either.

If you watch something very funny - have you ever laughed till you cried happy tears?

Yeah. But again, that only happens when others are present and laughing hysterically. If I'm watching the same movie or occurrence alone, I might smirk or giggle a bit, but that's all.

Since doctors know it's a certain part of the brain that lacks the emotions - wouldn't it be interesting, if they could fix or transplant that part of the brain (hypothetical of course).

I was also wondering since they say we don't use all of our brains and are also rebuilding new brain cells -could exposing someone who lacks emotions to emotional circumstances, help retrain the brain. Just grasping at straws here

I don't think it will ever be possible, as it's not just one part of the brain; there are several areas that function differently, and the wiring is different. But, if it ever does become possible, I think it would have detrimental effects on the people who were subject to such a procedure. I mean ... I can't say all psychopaths, but the vast majority have done some less than moral things in their lifetime. And if someone were to suddenly flip on our emotion switch, we'd be overwhelmed with feelings of guilt, probably to the point where we'd become severely depressed. I don't think we'd be able to function after the fact. And psychopaths perceive the world differently from "emotion capable" people. We would have to relearn how we see the world, and learn how to cope with feelings that are completely foreign to us. As much as I would like to know what it feels like to have emotions, I don't think I'd be able to function with them after being void of them for so long.

[Vibe]

The emotions you experience (if you experience) may be less severe and/or more short lived, but I think they can also provide a good template for what 'normal' emotions are. Personally, I over-experience, and sometimes the intensity of the that can almost drown out the actual emotion. Do you have an internal monologue alongside any of your 'emotional' states which might point towards something real being there instead of just adrenaline? The presence of an adrenaline rush may overwhelm emotion, but it doesn't necessarily mean one isn't there. Like, for instance, if I feel anger I might think things like 'how dare he?' and get a sense of injustice over a perceived wrong. Something which causes the emotion. Or would you describe your 'rages' as more of a fight/flight response?

I think that a certain degree of 'parroting' emotion is normal. I wasn't upset at all by the movie titanic, but everyone around me was crying thus I did too. In this case, there wasn't much emotion from me regarding the event. However, during other times when I do feel something, the reactions of others can help influence how strongly those emotions take hold and my external reaction to them. This especially happens during funny movies. Laughter really can be contagious.

As for emotions 'not taking hold,' that might be a variation on normal emotional functioning? I might feel a very intense emotion that's short lived, and then come down to something more normal. Or else I might feel slightly up/down but go back to normal after rather than having it build to an extreme emotional state. If this happens very quickly for you and/or you feel you 'miss the pinnacle', then you might be going through that same process but to a lesser degree? Or I suppose it could just be parroting and hormonal reactions again.

I guess what I'm trying to figure out is whether you don't experience emotion at all, or if the emotion you do have is just extremely stunted. I can understand how a more complex reaction to emotion, such as empathy, could be lost in either case.

Originally Posted by Araya

Do you have an internal monologue alongside any of your 'emotional' states which might point towards something real being there instead of just adrenaline? The presence of an adrenaline rush may overwhelm emotion, but it doesn't necessarily mean one isn't there. Like, for instance, if I feel anger I might think things like 'how dare he?' and get a sense of injustice over a perceived wrong. Something which causes the emotion. Or would you describe your 'rages' as more of a fight/flight response?

I don't recall any internal dialogue whilst in a fit of rage. However I do have internal dialogue without feeling emotion. Well, it's usually external dialogue. I just read in an article that those fits of rage are probably just an instinctual response, like fight/flight but not to a perceived threat.

I guess what I'm trying to figure out is whether you don't experience emotion at all, or if the emotion you do have is just extremely stunted. I can understand how a more complex reaction to emotion, such as empathy, could be lost in either case.

That's what I'm trying to figure out, lol. I think I do feel stunted emotion. But I don't really know the difference between superficial and real emotion, so it's hard to say.

[FooZe]

This may, strictly speaking, be a bit off topic but I wanted to put it out there anyway. A former friend (emphasis on former lol) used to consider himself an expert on how people felt and, more important, how they should feel. For the whole time I knew him, he was always trying to convince me that there had to be something seriously wrong with me because he was the gold standard of cool, I wasn't much like him, and I seldom felt the way he felt.

In the short term, he had me pretty worried. It turned out to be quite a valuable learning experience, though. In the long run, I gained a lot more from finding out he didn't have the answers I was looking for, than I ever lost by believing he did have them.

So Myers, when you try to compare how you feel (or don't feel) to how you're supposed to, how do you tell if "how you're supposed to" actually has anything to do with you?

Another thought I'm having along those same lines: I guess we can agree that this little thingie is blue. But how do we tell if the way you see blue is anything like the way I see blue? Trying to compare how you feel stuff to how I feel similar stuff to how someone else does, seems to me a lot like trying to compare how we see blue. Could it be that, as long as we have no trouble agreeing that this is blue, it doesn't much matter if we all see blue the same way or not?

------------------
Someone will tell me, "That's not blue, it's turquoise" (or aqua, or cyan or something). I will stand corrected.

[AnniGale]

Originally Posted by Anonymous32970

Thanks everyone for your answers and concerns. 'Preciate it. But I can't learn to feel these emotions. Trust me, I've tried ... with the help of my therapist ... when I was still in therapy ... My lack of feeling frustrated him to no end ...


In all three scenarios ... a whole lotta nothin'. The only time I feel any semblance of what might be called emotion is when I get something I want or I fail to get something I want. A challenge is pretty exciting too. And, when I do succeed in something, the only "emotion" I get is very short lived, and probably superficial. But I don't really know the difference between superficial and real when it comes to emotions, so it's hard to say. It feels like ... I smile a bit, for a few minutes (and a lot of my smiles are feigned) ... and I suppose, enjoy it? I don't know... it's hard to explain. And my memories are completely void of emotion. So, whenever I recall something that was by definition "joyous" and recall that I was, at the time, joyful, I don't remember what I felt... I only remember that I was smiling, therefore I must have been joyful. Does that make any sense? Is that normal?

I don't even know if the emotions I seem to have are real, or if they're simply a reflection of other people's reactions. For example ... At my aunt's funeral, there were three groups of people: the "cryers", those folks who'd rather laugh over reminiscent stories of the deceased ... and my cousin, Billy, who'd rather talk about the latest sports score. As I migrated among these groups, my "emotions" changed. With the "reminiscers" and Billy, I laughed and joked about my aunt and discussed sports teams, although I didn't find any of their jokes or stories to be particularly funny, nor do I care for sports. Among the "criers", I appeared sad and even shed a few tears. I was really close to my aunt, and I thought her to be a strong, yet kind woman. But, the entire time, I felt nothing inside.


Don't wish that. It's a very empty "feeling", and most of us end up in prison or hurting the ones that try to love us, even if we don't mean to.

I have a question to add upon that if you don't mind. When you experience emotion, is it a feeling you get, or rather just a physical reaction? For example, if your happy, do you know it even if you aren't smiling? And how deep does the emotion go for most people? Is it something hard to change without a reason, or can simply thinking about not feeling that emotion stop you feeling it?

[Finniky]

For me feelings are caused in two ways.

One, something happens that incites an emotion quickly without really thinking about it, and there is some or many physical changes. Example: Getting the winning lottery numbers and being told for the first time. I would feel instant elation and joy before even thinking. My body would buzz with happiness, like I was high. I'd feel like I could float of the ground I can imagine, anyway.

Two: thoughts cause feelings, those feelings cause a physical response. This is hard when you have pervasive negative thoughts Because the physical response is, altogether, stress on the body and mental functions, and is constant because of the pervasive negative thoughts. But with normal thoughts you can feel moments of happiness, sadness, etc just by thinking of something that incites that feeling.

For me, feelings are something I sense. They are a sensation within my "being". These sensations can be great, horrible, and all kinds of in-between. They are also obviously accompanied by thoughts of the same nature (great, horrible, etc) and measurable physical responses.. like sweating, fear, racing-heart, sick stomach, etc.

What I "sense" within me when I feel something, I cannot describe. If I'm feeling something, I know the thoughts (or lack of) that I'm having. I know the physical responses I'm having (ex: shakiness). I can describe those thoughts and phsyical reactions easily. Anyone can. But there is some sort of other thing accompanying those that I can "sense" but not describe. It is the most powerful part, though. It is the essence of the feeling itself, I guess. Not everyone feels that way about it, I know.

Yep, I probably just made it more confusing to you.

[seeker1950]

I used to be a bundle of emotions, and I hated it! Crying at inappropriate times and obsessing about things that were said and done. Medication has definitely "tamped" my emotions. Is this a good thing? Not sure. I know if I miss my meds, even for a day, I have "emotional" dreams and wake up rather perplexed and exhausted. Despite this, the meds are a benefit to me, allowing me to function in real life without embarrassing myself.

As to your question....what do emotions feel like? Some people are simply UNemotional and that's how they roll/function. Nothing wrong with that. ON the darker side, it is said that sociopaths lack emotion and victimize people with whom they interact. I, personally, have experienced such victimization with such people. Not suggesting you are such, but it does ring bells.

[Finniky]

Originally Posted by seeker1950

I used to be a bundle of emotions, and I hated it! Crying at inappropriate times and obsessing about things that were said and done. Medication has definitely "tamped" my emotions. Is this a good thing? Not sure. I know if I miss my meds, even for a day, I have "emotional" dreams and wake up rather perplexed and exhausted. Despite this, the meds are a benefit to me, allowing me to function in real life without embarrassing myself.

As to your question....what do emotions feel like? Some people are simply UNemotional and that's how they roll/function. Nothing wrong with that. ON the darker side, it is said that sociopaths lack emotion and victimize people with whom they interact. I, personally, have experienced such victimization with such people. Not suggesting you are such, but it does ring bells.

I was this way as well before meds.. Emotional rollercoaster, all day. And emotional dreams as well. I much prefer feeling more "even" emotionally!

[seeker1950]

Originally Posted by Finniky

I was this way as well before meds.. Emotional rollercoaster, all day. And emotional dreams as well. I much prefer feeling more "even" emotionally!

Finniky...we are soul mates!

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Originally Posted by Perna

(that's why some psychiatric medicines have the side effect where a person literally cannot cry)

This is a thing that regularly happens? Because I experienced this at one point the one time I was on meds and it was utter hell. I thought it was just me...?