I am at a different ward to the other one i was at before the doctor here wont let me leave even though i am voluntary. She said that things have been missed for a long time and that i am very unwell. I am not sick i feel fine she says i have to take medication and if i dont i will end up on a treatment order getting injections. She said she will not let me leave until i am better and that she cant leave me untreated. She wont tell me what she thinks is going on but all the nurses keep saying i am very unwell and that i need to be in hospital i am fine though. I dont know what to do if i try and leave they will put me on an order i am stuck i dont know what to do i am not sick i shouldnt be here i need to get out. I have ruined everything.

[Luce]

You haven't ruined anything at all Eden. The doctor and the nurses are right - you are very unwell at the moment, and it is really important that you get the right treatment. I know you feel well and don't think anything is wrong. That is one of the cruel ironies of mental illnesses: You don't realize how ill you were until you are on the right treatment and it is working.
You don't have to do anything at all right now. Just rest, listen to the doctors, and try the treatments they offer. I know you can't see how unwell you are, but they can, and so can the people here reading your posts. You are right where you need to be at the moment.

[Rive.]

Finally! A doc who sees the precarious situation you are in & who is willing to do something about it. I couldn't believe the paltry level of care you received to date. I hope they follow through and take care of you, so you can feel better...at long last.

Eden, do you remember writing this yesterday on the bipolar forum?

"I feel horrible i ruined everything there is literally no way out of here that doesnt involve mass murder and if i crossed that line i think i would just make things more difficult."

This is a kind of thinking that is really illustrative of how unwell you are right now. I hope you accept the treatments available to you so that you feel less desperate and can think more clearly. The difficult irony for you right now is that you are so unwell you cannot see how unwell you are. Hopefully with treatment you well gain some calm and better insight. Best wishes to you.

[LittlePage]

As a nurse who works psych ER it seems that perhaps you are in the right place for now. I am new to these threads but looked up what others have posted. I think it is great that you chose to go voluntary. I know it can be frustrating for people that come in voluntary and are then given restrictions or told that if they leave they will be placed on a hold. It might be hard to accept but in a way it does validate your choice in being admitted voluntarily in that you were right in seeking help.

I am fine though I just want to go home they think I am stupid and they never answer any of my questions. All the staff always look at me when I do things with this weird look and I hate it I just I want to scream I hate it here I should never have wrote that note and I shouldn't have I should have run when I could I ugh I can't do this I can't be here anymore I want to discharge myself but they will just put me on an order I feel like I need to be dead.

[Victoria'smom]

Eden, even if you want to die it's not a good plan. If you do what they say they'll let you out eventually. This is temporary remember that. The more you fight the more unwell they feel you are. If you cooperate things will get a lot easier for you.

I agree with Miguel'smom. Go to the groups, take the medicine, shower, go to the dining hall.... If they see you are actively looking after yourself you will get out sooner.

Eden, I am so happy you are getting some help. These people are trained professionals. I think it likely they have been able to see something you might have missed.

Though it took some time, I came to realize that the hospital wasn't such a bad space. I took to thining it was a bit of a holiday and actually was rather disappointed when they gave me a discharge plan. Look at it this way... the only responsibility you have is to do your laundry. Take advantage of that.

They are still being super annoying they don't even care I can't take this anymore I want to run.

[sabby]

There is another thread in the Bipolar forum discussing this same subject. This thread will now be closed.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/bipol...-eden1515.html