To those of you who've had experience on this Earth.

My depression in the past 2 years has split into why's,whens, and hows. Its uncontrolable, and very depressing.

I'm always wondering how do you know someone really cares?
Do therapists/pdocs really like you?
Why do people seem to get lust and love mixed up?
Is sex all that strives relationships?
When will I see the light?
Why do I think these things?
How can I stop it?

These are a few of many questions running through my mind, despite its irrational out look I can't seem to stop. This is an issue I'm dealing with in therapy now, but as 1 question states I dont know if she (my therapist cares)...its all doubt,..I know depression lies...but these thoughts are overwhelming in public I cry when I ask these questions as I look at other ppl...wondering...when will I be them...NORMAL...

When did you all see the light,? And if you havent...be with me on the journey,...we're on a train and soon to get off...with hope!

Dustin

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Moonkin said:
My depression in the past 2 years has split into why's,whens, and hows. Its uncontrolable, and very depressing.

I'm always wondering how do you know someone really cares?

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You keep trying to sense it, until you get the answer.

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Do therapists/pdocs really like you?

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Some do, some don't. The ones who like themselves will probably like you.

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Why do people seem to get lust and love mixed up?

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Maybe they are relatives.

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Is sex all that strives relationships?

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All? No.

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When will I see the light?

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Hmm. Probably someday.

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Why do I think these things?

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You need to know.

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How can I stop it?

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Find some answers. Then tell other people.

I really like Pachyderm's answers. So sorry that you continue to suffer, Moonkin.

Moonkin, these are all good questions that every person who is growing up needs to be asking themselves. If you weren't asking these questions, you wouldn't be a normal person.

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Moonkin said:
I'm always wondering how do you know someone really cares?
Do therapists/pdocs really like you?
Why do people seem to get lust and love mixed up?
Is sex all that strives relationships?
When will I see the light?
Why do I think these things?
How can I stop it?

Dustin

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knowing when someone really cares is hard because we never truely know what another person is thinking, but it seems to be something that shows.....when they give more to a relationship than they get from it....can sometimes be a sign that they really care....or when they give of themselves & aren't asked to (which is sometimes why we feel funny asking things of people because we would really love it is they cared enough to do it without our asking....jmo)

We can only hope that we find the therapist/pdoc who really likes us & that we aren't just their job....that is why we need to feel a connection to them to feel really good about the Dr/patient relationship.

JMO, but people like the exciting feeling of lust......love is more of a deep, down to earth, caring about someone....& the exciting feeling isn't necessarily a part of that deeply caring for someone.

jmo again, but sex being all that strives relationships isn't the case for everyone (my experience). From my experience.....friendship should be what is the base of relationships....for without friendship & caring, I don't think a relationship exists. If sex is the only thing, then it isn't a relationship unless that is all one wants from the relationship & no lasting bond.

We all see the "light" at our own time. When we come to our own understanding of ourselves, & what we want for our own lives......it is the understanding we get from giving thought to lifes questions.....& giving these questions our individual answers....is when the light starts to shine. Some people go through life never asking questions....just accepting what life throws at them ,saying they are controlled by the life around them instead of understanding what they want from life & going after it.

Like at said in my first paragraph, It is normal to think these things as we grow up & mature. You wouldn't want to stop asking these questions because that would mean that you didn't care about your own life & defining your own values.

Hope this helps answer some of those questions you have. These are all things that most normal people go through when they start defining their thoughts. Some people ask these things when they are young....some when they are older, & some never think they need to ask questions like this....only to find it to be a problem later on in life....that they never stopped to think about it.

It's all part of the maturing process...& needless to say, I am 54 years old....been through it myself....& been through it with my own daughter....& dealing with a husband who after 32 years of marriage is realizing he didn't stop to think about some very important questions when he was younger....& it's causing problems this far down the road.

Enjoy thinking & defining your life....that is what you are doing with your questions....you wouldn't want to stop that,
Debbie

ty all for the comments

I never really asked myself if my therapists in the past really cared. I thought of it as that they were just doing their jobs. Maybe that's why I never really felt I gained much from counseling, eventually resorting to finding my own way. I realize many people become quite attached and even dependent on their therapists, but, really, is this healthy?
Patty

can i share with you an interesting experience i had ..i think the day b4 yesterday?

i read a book when there was a passage about "a statue of a bird which looked like it`s going to fly"
but it will never fly anywhere. it will stand there untill it gets broken or untill someone moves it somewhere else . and i thought that we human beings are the same. we just live sorf of ordinary lives. work. come home. eat. go to bed.
but what do you we really have in life, which is meaningful?
what should we do to fly? to do what we are really her for?

and after a while i just tried somehting.
NOT THINKING OF ANYHING.
and after a few seconds i started feeling really good. great. greatful. for this life. i felt the power. the LOVE...
and i felt that I KNEW the answer to the question i had. even if i don`t seem to analize it or to put it into words. we know all we need to know. we just have to let the truth reveal itslef without being afraid to let go of all our illussions. all the judgment we have towards reality...all the "wall" we built around ourselves from concepts.perceptions, conclussions, etc.
you can see the light RIGHT NOW if you just choose ot. if you just believe. you ARE the light...but the problem is that we always make things up to turn it down.

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Moonkin said:
I know depression lies...but these thoughts are overwhelming in public I cry when I ask these questions as I look at other ppl...wondering...when will I be them...NORMAL...

Dustin

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"><font color="#000088">You've gotten some really great answers so far to your questions. But I wanted to add something about your comment, wondering when you will be "NORMAL"!
Normal is actually different in many different places, and cultures. So the actual definition of "Normal" is -Within the norms of society-! So depending on what part of the world, or area you live in, you could still be considered "Normal". And to have these questions in mind, and want to know the answers, is perfectly normal! When you look at these other people around you in puplic, you never know, they might be fighting Depression as well! It's very common in society these days, and in the olden days!
Just because you're fighting a Mental illness, does not make you abnormal, because many people are fighting mental illnesses, it's a disease beyond your control. So to blame you,and say your not normal,because of it. Would be like blaming someone for Cancer,or Diabetis,and saying that they are not normal because of it!
So it is perfectly normal,and healthy to be asking these questions!I hope this helps in any way!
J</font>

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Moonkin said:

I'm always wondering how do you know someone really cares?
Do therapists/pdocs really like you?
Why do people seem to get lust and love mixed up?
Is sex all that strives relationships?
When will I see the light?
Why do I think these things?
How can I stop it?

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Q.1 if they spend time trying to help u they care. dont try to think about wether they really do,coz the depression will pick out things for u to doubt, happens to me too. I CARE!!! just try not to think bout it too much.

Q.2 i say she likes you. you are a nice guy, and there is no reason for her to dislike you. anyway. if she disliked you to the point where she couldnt work with u she would refer you. and, it is YOUR session. who cares if your not her favourite person. there are many ppl who she could be dealing with who are worse than you. trust me. she has nothing to dislike.

Q.3 love and lust are hard to define. i spose if u truly love someone you would be totally sure that, in the case of having to wait five years to see them again, you would do it. love is more than wanting to have sex with them. for example, my bf actually wants to stop me having sex with him. so that i dont regret doing it so young. i respect him for that. and i am thankful too.
dont worry too much over it dusty, u r young, you have lodsa time to find a lucky lady to be with.

Q.4 if sex was all that drove relationships, i know many relationships wouldnt still be here. sex is just something that is universally something ucan use to tell someone that you love them. although some use it for other purposes. yknow, i think it is enjoyed too much... that is why bad things happen IMO...

Q.5 the light will come when u r ready to see it. now, i know that sounds naff, but it will come soon. just keep striving for it... ill be with u looking also.

Q.6 i think the weirdest questions. i wonder how many sausages went down with the titanic! haa but then thats just me. its annoying to not know the answers to such questions, but all you can do is ask others opinions, and believe in your own.

Q.7 hmm stopping it, that would be doing what i do and not giving yourself enough time to think at all. but i do NOT reccomend that. those questions are healthy, feel free to ask me any questions,,, and i will give an honest answer.

btw, all the stuff i wrote is IMO. its up to u how much to take any notice of, you could totally disagree...
take care matey
self

I just wonna say thank you all so much. Really I'm so happy you replied!

Ladymcbeth, that story was incredible ty for sharing it means alot! Ty all!

i am happy to know it does. it`s actually great to have people around the world...to talk to you.

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selfy said:
i wonder how many sausages went down with the titanic!

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