I'm in pain. I'm 32. I have tried suicide. I pray for sanity but... I'm getting older. Just either end it or get me over the pain and off the smokes. Amen.

Singer Dorian, I'm so sorry you are in so much pain. I hope that it gets better for you. I hope it brings you solace to know that emotions are not stagnant. They change. Get yourself to the hospital or a safe place. Do you see a counselor or psychiatrist? I hope you feel better soon.

[eyesclosed]

Amen brother

[waggiedog]

Hello dear Singer Dorian and I'm concerned and sad that you are in that horrible bad place. I'm not about to say things you don't want to hear ~~ like dur dur dur, you'll soon feel better etc etc etc. I've been where you are many times, and I'm not great myself right now. I could say you're still relatively young, but that wont bring solace. I'm considerably older then you at 57 and from the age of around 18 life has been one struggle . Sadly back then many of todays mental disorders were not known about and certainly there was little therapy.

Do you have anybody at all in real life that knows some or all of what you're going through? I will admit now that I've gone through decades pretending and ''putting it on'' so people would never know I was totally ''mad''. I honestly thought I was the only one in the world, what with no internet, no nothing really.

I can only offer a listening ear and I promise you I'm NOT easily shocked, having been admitted many times to a psych hospital nearby. Believe me, I saw all sorts in there and to be honest, people there were the most honest, kind and gentle folk ever (the patients I mean!).

I send you LOVE and HUGS.

[sandworm]

Pain is good, it is a message from your body or your life that what you did or are doing is not valid
and you need a different approach.
how do you know what you want, you know when you have it.

Someone once asked Hank Aaron, "How do you handle it when you experience a slump in your game; how do you get through it, move through it?" Hank Aaron: “-Keep Swinging-, no matter how much you lose, or fail, keep swinging. ”.

Sandworm: Sandy

[StarGazingFish]

Originally Posted by Singer Dorian

I'm in pain. I'm 32. I have tried suicide. I pray for sanity but... I'm getting older. Just either end it or get me over the pain and off the smokes. Amen.

i understand and totally relate,im 32 to and live not that far from you in manchester,in an ideal world id give you a big bear hug and an ear for you to talk to.

by smokes do you mean cannabis or regular fags? you can get CBD oil and a vape stick from a lot of vape shops-CBD being the component of cannabis that doesnt get you high,rather takes away your anxiety and pain plus its legal in the UK and lasts a lot longer than your average mary jane anyway.
if you mean regular cigs, have you thought of trying a vape stick? you can get all levels of nicotine including 0%,theres no way near as many bad chemicals in them as cigarettes so its a better swap if you can cope with the taste,my mum was a heavy smoker,had tried champix medication when that came out-it didnt work but now just uses a vape stick and absolutely no cigs.

you are welcome to PM me if you need a chat,i have felt like you do for a long time but im attempting to get councilling and talking therapy-have you tried this and has it helped you?
i think you need to get your feelings out,if you want to be brutal with how you feel you can always email the samaritans-id give you the email address but i dont think you can put things like that on here,ive been to the samaritans head office in manchester before they do free no appointment;one to one councilling its very good and it saved me from being sectioned,i recommend it if youve got a head office in birmingham.

Originally Posted by Singer Dorian

I'm in pain. I'm 32. I have tried suicide. I pray for sanity but... I'm getting older. Just either end it or get me over the pain and off the smokes. Amen.

I don't believe in God, but Amen.

[Jahzza]

Hi. I am sorry to hear that you feel as you do. I am exactly the same and pray constantly for death to no avail. I have tried many times before, even once ending up on life support (14 yrs ago). However, I doubt that taking our own lives is the answer. Therefore, I can only pray and wait. I'm sure that God will take us when we are ready.

I will pray for you xx

[mugwort2]

I feel so terriblly sorry for you. That you in such a terrible state of mind. I personally know the feeling of discouragement. Can you talk about your discouraging feelings with your pdoc or therapist? I know such feelings as yours can seem so real The key word here is seem. Please update how you're doing. I'm concerned for you.

[Fuzzybear]

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry you feel this way.