I want to feel better. Please help.

I honestly don’t know what is wrong with me, I wish I did. It took a lot for me to come here and post this, and I hope someone can offer some insight. My problems are multitude and seemingly unrelated, hence my confusion. I do not get along with very many people, for many reasons but mostly because they are boring, unintelligent (comparatively), or selfish. I seemingly always need to be right, mostly for my own self esteem, but also to show people that my disability does not place me below them in society. I am visually impaired, and I feel like a burden to everyone in my life. My parents, sibling, friends, wife, everyone. I cannot drive, getting a regular job is more than difficult, and I struggle with the “Why was I born this way?” question quite a bit. I am incredibly smart, genius level IQ, and always going out of my way to help people that I can, but it is rarely noticed, commented on, or thanked. I also have issues with pornography, and I feel I have an addiction to drinking Coke Zero, wearing women’s clothes, and being right. I want to be happy, I want to get better, but I have no clue what is actually wrong with me. If anyone has any help, advice, support, or anything at all. I am here to listen. Thank you for reading.

What issues do you have? Mental illnes? Have you been diagnosed? Do you see a therapist?

There is no problem in liking to wear women's clothes, but you feel it is an addiction, do you? I don't really know what to say with the info you gave us. Do you know what you're looking for in life?

it would help if you saw a therapist. They can work on your issues and see what's a problem and what's not.

Hi,

I'll start off by saying that helping others who are in need of help is a very positive quality to have, and even though it sounds like you oftentimes don't get the thanks that you deserve, I think that helping others is commendable because it makes the world a better place, and a better world is something that I'd expect all of us to benefit from in one way or another. One thing that I've noticed, however, is that those who are very helpful toward others sometimes take putting others first a little too far and become so focused on pleasing others that they become consumed with how others perceive them. In some cases, proving that any incorrect perceptions that others might have about them are indeed incorrect might also become an issue. Do you think that it might be the case that some of what I've described here might at least help to explain some of the problems that you described in your post?

As far as addressing the issues that you have with pornography, a possible addiction to Coke Zero, wearing women's clothes, and being right are concerned, it is, of course, up to you to decide how to address these things, but I think that it would be worthwhile to ask yourself about the extent to which these things are problems that you think need to be corrected and about the extent to which your desire to make changes in these areas might be based more on pleasing others than it is on changing something that you really think should be changed. For instance, I don't see wearing women's clothes as something that harms anyone else, whether you're male or female, so maybe wearing women's clothes on at least some occasions isn't something that would be best to change, if that's what you'd prefer to do. Perhaps some of the other issues that you mentioned are things that would be best for you to work on in one way or another, but even if your reasons for working on these issues might have something to do with making others happy, I think that considering how making changes in these areas might lead to outcomes that are likely to be either beneficial or detrimental not only for others, but also for yourself, is something that would be worthwhile.

HI and welcome to PC
This is a wonderful community full of helpful insightful individuals many of whom I am sure will be able to relate to your on some level or another and be able to offer kind words of wisdom and advice.
Hope you find much comfort and understanding here!
Be Well! and Keep Writing!
-LITW

Welcome by the way.

Could it be that you are missing something in your life and that it translates to the behaviour you worry over? I too suggest that your intelligence leads you to ruminate over this a great deal and perhaps more so that others might. Are you maybe then thinking too much? Thinking catastrophically? Spending a great deal of time on conjecture?

I will go from zero to 100 myself, over think, and come to more negative conclusions.

While not everyone will agree with me, I find your behaviour more normal than worrisome. It is the frequecy or dependence on these things that could be problematic. Again, I am reading however that you are searching for something missing and that this may be how that struggle is manifesting itself.

So how to find that missing puzzle piece? My own thoughts are to try and broaden your exoeriences. For example, I discovered art and kayaking to be hits and I do so when I can.