I find myself do self-talking a lot during the day. I live in an apartment which isn't sound proof, so, probably my neighbors think I'm crazy when I do it out loud, because they know I live alone!!. I keep creating all these scenarios in my head, and talk them through. I also get very busy with self-talk when I walk down the street. Today, I was moving my lips while talking to my-self, and I think someone looked at me and thought I'm crazy. The scary thing when I'm walking outside and have a self-talk, I don't feel anything around me. I mean I know I'm walking and there are trees and people ... etc, but it doesn't feel real. I dissociate in a sense, and before I know it, I find myself close to home, where I usually recover from my self-talk and partial dissociation. Sometimes it worries me because I don't pay attention to what is happening around me. Other times, I don't have self-talk, but I dissociate and my vision becomes blurry. I feel I'm not there although I'm there in my body. I don't know how to describe it.

I'm not sure if this is related, but my mother told me once I talk and walk in my sleep, too. She told me when I was younger that I woke up, and went to the kitchen and drank some water and even talked to her, and I was fully awake to her. She told me the next day, but I didn't remember that. No one told me I woke up from my sleep again since then, but that story freaks me out. I'm always afraid that I would wake up and go out or do something while I'm not aware of it. This was especially true when I lived in a tall building and the window has nothing that could prevent me from jumping. I was afraid that I would jump one day without being aware, although I didn't have any suicidal ideation.

I think I keep many feelings inside me, and they manifest themselves like this. Anyone has similar experiences?

[eyesclosed]

Yes I do it all the time in my head though but when I'm working on a project at home I talk to my dog I think it's pretty normal everyone has self talk the in the the world but not conscious almost dreaming I have had since I was a kid first my head would hum in a low tone and I was just in a different world.

Sometimes I had this, too.
It would happen when my mind went though intensive scenario simulations.
The ways I treated this was blocking my mouth and humming for instance.
Also keeping focus on tasks has helped me, since then my mind is focused on thinking about what I do or acquire (knowledge for instance) rather than being filled with brooding.

[Thetrueme]

Hey!It's ok to self-talk,unless it damages your relationships with others or harms someone.I talk to myself a lot,most of the time I make jokes and laugh at them by myslef D.It happens to me on the streets too,not so often cause i sing all the time.It's like you are speaking your thoughts out loud,if you want to control it just write it down every morning on a paper or on your phone and try to be conscious about it. I can almost guarantee,you can control it,since you are the master of your body!
God bless!

I realize it at some point in the middle, but I don't realize how I get myself into it. It just happens. I just switch/flip to an auto-pilot mode. I think it's the way my brain deals with being alone and not talking and connecting with others and expressing my emotions. I try to distract myself, but some thoughts are very powerful, especially if I remember something negative/embarrassing. It doesn't interfere with my life in the most part, but as I said sometimes I feel I dissociate and become unaware of my surrounding fully, which could potentially be dangerous.

[Thetrueme]

Originally Posted by Mr. Stranger

I realize it at some point in the middle, but I don't realize how I get myself into it. It just happens. I just switch/flip to an auto-pilot mode. I think it's the way my brain deals with being alone and not talking and connecting with others and expressing my emotions. I try to distract myself, but some thoughts are very powerful, especially if I remember something negative/embarrassing. It doesn't interfere with my life in the most part, but as I said sometimes I feel I dissociate and become unaware of my surrounding fully, which could potentially be dangerous.

Same here,i dont realize when i get into it,cause it became a habbit.One way to destroy bad habbits is make new better ones.Instead of unconsciously sliding into it,try to start it yourself by choosing the "theme of the fantasy".
What i do is try to keep my brain always focused on controlling myself and on being selfconscious.So even though i son't realize how i get into it,when i do realize it I try to tell my brain:"Hey,next time try to realize it faster or be aware when it happens",and it actually works , next time i realize it faster or even realize when im sliding into it. And i do have a lot of embarassing/bad memories but hey,the past is the past,there's nothing you can do to change it.Just accept it and own it,everything that matters is the present because it will shape your future.Basically the thoughts you have now, in the present, will build the you in the future.The power is in your hands,and if you don't believe it,your brain will not believe it aswell. But then again i'm not a professional at this stuff,i'm taking all of this from books i've read or videos i've seen,and they worked for me.Maybe you should see a therapist or a psychologist to help you figure out what are the roots of the problem and to help you overcome it.

Cheers!

[eyesclosed]

I found the more I tried to control it I got a lot of anxiety. So now I just let it happen and except it.
I worked all the time like this driving forklift, my car working around saws, pipe threaders I never got hurt it's almost like auto pilot.

[Otterplier]

I do this, but it's as if I'm acting out a story. It's not true, I make it all up. New people and everything, I'm not me. Think about it all the time, talk to myself when I'm home alone or even just in my room. I use it to get away from my real life that I hate. I should probably stop, but it's the only good part of my days.

For me I use it almost always when I feel frustrated and angry, which makes me even more frustrated and angrier. I do some positive scenarios, but they are not as frequent.

[mar33]

I've experienced things like this too! I usually begin to imagine the people I want to be near or converse with and talk to myself but in my mind I feel as though I am speaking to them. I usually don't notice wherever I am, and I think it is in part a result of a vivid imagination?

I loved to do this when I was younger and I loved long car rides because in my mind I would just get lost and invent places and stories based upon things I missed or wanted and for hours I would just let my mind daydream. Now I suppose I am more like you where it is very dissociative and almost crazy looking (but usually normal feeling).

I think the hardest part is I don't want it to stop (escapism maybe?), and I often have dreams where I adventure and speak to people. I don't know if the talking I remember in dreams becomes audible, but I haven't heard anything from my family as of yet.

Hope this helped a little. Good luck.

[acrobatfirst]

It happens to me all the time, mine is like gollum (the demonic side of gollum) in the movie "Lord of the ring".
It always tells the worst scenario, I can not stop it, it effects my decision, now I just ruined my life I can not see way out, I feel hopeless, helpless.

Mine is mostly about remembering past events (mostly negative) and put them in new scenarios and contexts to express my real feelings in the said events and the people involved in it.

[Razz9Id]

Don't feel bad. I see people walking and talking to what appears to be themselves but they are actually on the phone. It's dangerous when crossing the street. Other than that, I wouldn't fret.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

The "dissociation" or possibly "disassociation" you speak of is referred to as Depersonalization/Derealization. Experiences of DP/DR are very common. Most people experience these feelings periodically. Ruminating thoughts or thinking/renarrating outloud accompanied by feelings of DP/DR are commonly reported in depressive episodes and anxiety panic disorders, amongst many other various MH conditions. I would advise speaking with a Dr. or MH professional immediately if you feel that you/your symptoms are seriously a potential threat to your life!

"Dissociation" is "triggered" by unexpected external stimuli that is instantainously processed and interpreted as an extremely overwhelming traumatic experience or remainder of a past trauma, or misinterpreted as exactly the same as a past trauma. This is a defense of the mind that is generally sudden and automatically employed; almost like a killswitch. True "dissociation" is a systematic response not a choice.

"Disassociation" or "normal disociation" is a purposeful choice though at the time you may not realize that you are actually making a choice. This happens under many circumstances. It is what people generally describe as "zoning, spacing or tuning out". Most notably attributed to when external stimuli is underwhelming compared to the internal stimuli. Although, it can also occur when the external stimuli is overwhelmingly unpleasant/intolerable (known but unavoidable). When your brain becomes overloaded by the unpleasant external stimuli, your mind offers the following solutions flight, fight, or freeze. If physically removing yourself from or reacting to the environment is not possible, then your choices are limited to mentally/emotionally numbing yourself to your surroundings. Although you may not notice yourself making this choice, you are in fact purposefully doing this. In either circumstance this effect is gradual. When refocusing or "snapping out of it", you are fully aware that time has lasped and you can account for the reason. In true dissociation, you have no memory of anything that occurred during the time lapse external or internal and you may not even be aware of that any time has lapsed either.

Sleepwalking and sleep talking are attributed to a sleep disturbance or disorder if reoccurrent. They are not a form of dissociation because you are actually asleep for the duration of the episode.

Regardless of the cause if these symptoms or occurrences are frequent or new and you find them to be disturbing or potentially harmful to your daily functioning, health or life; you should speak with your GP as soon as possible.

Hope this information finds you well.
Best wishes,
Victoria

[avlady]

In the psyc ward one time i slept walked and the docs and ts asked me if i knew i was sleeping one night or a few nights there. i said i didn't know. i also one time boiled my clothes in a pot in my sleep. luckily my husband got me through it. i don't know if i sleep walk anymore but i sometimes feel like i'm leaving my body and even see my body standing next to me or whatever you want to call myself out of my body. I sort of remembering getting back into my body before i wake up. I know this sounds crazy, but that is whats happening sometimes. It could be the meds but it even happened when i was a child too. I did have scarlet fever and hallucinated so they took me to the hospital. I blame the scarlet fever for other things too. i know it messed with my head alot too.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

(((AVlady)))
Thank you for adding your experiences
I think the last post we wrote got off course a bit...sorry if it came off as seeming like a DD snob.
There are most certainly many reasons and circumstances that can include dissociative aspects! DP/DR symptoms can be caused simply by being over tired, or due to many physical or mental illness and disorders. It wasn't intended to say if you are not dxd w/ a DD, then you do not dissociate... I think it was trying to explain the full spectrum of dissociative experiences but ended up not quite hitting the mark. Sorry for that.
-LITW

For me too I am in such a habit of this that I catch myself doing so walking down the street and on the bus. Hopefully I have never moved my lips in public. My favourite place to self-talk is in the shower.

I do not create scenarios so much as 'rehearse' my reactions to those that already exist.

Most often it is rehearsing how I might stand up for myself or explain to someone my case or situation. An good example is if I have something I need to say to my psychiatrist or practise and prepare for a conversation I need to have on the phone. I will prepare for every possible reaction and outcome I can think of making contingency plans all along the way. But, once faced with the situation in real life what I have/need to say rarely goes how planned.

Well children definitely do this a lot, I would observe my son when he was younger and absorbed in some game muttering away to himself.

I suspect what happens is as we grow up and become more self aware we usually stop ourselves doing it - except some of us don't. May be it's related to a stress reaction and it's a coping mechanism for some - it is an outlet of expression of sorts.

@Razz9Id: Right, but when you are humming and talking unintelligible words, then definitely you are not talking in some secret phone they cannot see!!

@Lost_in_the_woods: That was very informative, and I think you described it very well and accurately. It happens sometimes when I face an encounter that I didn't like how it turned. It depends on the encounter, if I place a weight on it then I would be more upset and involved in self-talking. And you are right, it's not really dissociation (zoning out is more accurate I think), and that's why I used words like "in a sense" and "partial" when I used the word dissociation. Sometimes, I will be aware in the beginning when I have a self-talk as a normal self-talk everyone does I guess, but if I get upset and angry as the scenarios progress, I lose the sense of time, and I lose control of my mind, at least temporarily. Sometimes, the only way to stop self-talking is to go out or bike to release the negative energy in my body.

@avlady: I walked while asleep only once as far as I know. It happened to me while I was 7 or 8 years old. I think my mother knew I was asleep because otherwise she wouldn't mention it. I woke up, went to the kitchen, drank some water, talked to her a little, and went back to sleep. I'm not sure if she told me to go to bed and I obeyed. We haven't discussed it. But yes, this incident freaks me out that I would go out while asleep and do things while unaware.

@justafriend306: Actually, I do that, too, but it's less frequent. I play a potential conversation in my mind, and play the roles. I remember doing it once because I wanted to ask a girl I liked out, and I was nervous and anxious about how I would do that. I ended up not doing it

@prefabsprout: This is true. Children talk to themselves all the time, especially if they are playing alone. Trauma, stress and anxiety are factors in keep doing this in adulthood, I guess.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

I know a couple of sleepwalkers/sleeptalkers it is a very intriguing phenomenon when you witness someone doing it. Eerie a bit. So weird. In HS had a friend who was a sleepwalker. She told me but hearing about it and seeing it first hand WAY different! Sleepwalkers do some really bizarre nonsensical stuff..her mom told me that the drs. say the randomness is basically physically walking through their dreams!! So when sleepwalking whatever they do is what they are dreaming about but they are in the dreamworld so what another sees them do, is not what they think they are doing really!...I know most people who sleepwalk in childhood usually grow out of it by adulthood mostly. Except for when something is off like illness(fever ) or high stress...but I can't imagine those few who don't ever really grow out of it..how do they manage to live alone and not get hurt or poison themselves or something?...because I have seen some weird and dangerous stuff happen!
I think makes me grateful for my condition!...at least even if I am not conscious. ..someone is..I think?..I hope!
-Holly♡(lost)

I stated in my original post that when I lived in the 16th floor of a building with nothing on the large window that could've prevented me from jumping (there was no balcony), I was very worried that I would jump and die. The problem was that, knowing I walked while asleep triggered this thought, and this thought triggered anxiety that this thought might be some kind of programming to my mind to actually jump. Luckily I didn't.

I'm almost certain that I'm still talking while asleep, though. I remember once that I woke up immediately after I shouted in my dream, which possibly means I really shouted. I couldn't verify it of course because I live alone (which is a good thing had I shouted, because that wouldn't have scared anyone lived with me), and I suspect my neighbors were asleep or if they heard it they didn't tell me.

It sounds crazy when I write these things!! I hope others aren't seeing me this way

[Walking Man]

I think talking to yourself is normal, not always "good" normal, but I think it's a common coping behavior. For most of the last two years I was totally alone, physically sick, and very depressed. I was really stressed and frustrated about trying to earn a living and having a place to live. The talking got pretty bad. Like you said I'd be walking and talking, when all of a sudden I realize someone is coming toward me, and I was embarassed. They probably don't think anything about it though, because I'm sure everyone has done it.

My problem was that I would always complain or argue. I was upset about something and would get myself all worked up. It just made everything worse. The only way I've been able to do anything about it (apart from not being alone all the time) is to simply stop myself cold when I notice I'm doing it. I just drop it. I focus instead on my senses, what some people call mindfulness. I listen to what is going on around me. I look at the flowers, the buildings, or the ground. It's hard to stop, because you are talking for a reason, you have something on your mind, or something to express. So I have to remind myself that the talking and thinking I'm doing aren't accomplishing anything, and I'm just on auto-pilot.

It's like my brain wants a habit. It's just going in circles, even if I'm actually thinking about something. I think the same things over and over again. The talking is just an audible version of what's going on in my head. My brain seems to want to be occupied with the thinking and talking, but it actually takes me away from reality, and I have to force it to stop. The thoughts and talking have "inertia", just like a a physical object. You mind is in motion and it wants to continue doing same thing over and over. I don't think that stopping altogether is something you can easily do. You have to be patient, and keep trying over and over when you are in the habit.

I get the impression that a lot of people have sleepwalked at least once. I don't know for certain, but I'm pretty sure I did it once in high school. I think most people, if not everyone, has woken up yelling or something. By saying that "everyone does it" I don't mean to dismiss your concern, just to point out that those things don't make you "crazy", as you say. Maybe really stressed out.

I also think that we have a need to be heard and acknowledged. When that's not happening, I know I keep talking to myself about those thoughts or feelings. It's like I need it to come out, but talking to myself doesn't offer any relief, because I wan't someone else to hear me. A lot of times I don't really have to say it to anyone, I just need someone to acknowledge me personally in some way.

Good post. I agree, it's a coping/defense mechanism. In real life we cannot express our feelings/thoughts all the time, whether because it's not acceptable or because we are alone. I do that in my sleep and with the self-talk. Our brains actually doesn't stop working. That's why if we are alone and not distracted we are prone to do self-talking. I have to say that it's difficult to know what's normal when people aren't talking about it. I believe most people think, as I do, these things are embarrassing, so, there is this feeling that maybe only me I do these things!!