I need help

I don't know what to do anymore, my one and only dream can't come true because it doesn't exist I'm all alone with no one to talk to and I feel like putting an end to my life is the only way to make they pain stop the more I think about it the more it hurts. I'm 20 years old with no job my mom passed away last year and my dad is about ready to throw me out of the house because I'm not doing anything with my life because what I want can't be earned I'm just so lost

What is holding you back? You are 20 so you have a great deal of time to discover a new goal. I'm afraid I agree with dad on this one. He has every right to demand you do something while under his roof. And remember he is grieving too. I believe the best thing you can do is move on and become independent. Consider moving out. Work towards that goal of whatever new one comes up.

I'm sorry that you have lost your mother, especially at such a young age. It's never easy, but I think it must feel very alone when you haven't established a home of your own with someone who cares for you to lose the person who probably cared for you the most.

At your age, I had dropped out of college and wasn't managing to hold a job for long. I remember my father being kind of disgusted with me. But he left it up to me to figure out what I was going to do, and didn't threaten to eject me from the house. Not that the home atmospere was real warm all the time. It's pretty common for a person your age to not have a clear direction to go in.

What is the thing that you want that you say is now unattainable? Was it attainable in the past? It sounds like you've had some other major loss in your life besides the passing of your mother. Sometimes too much goes wrong at the same time, and our capacity to cope can get overwhelmed.

I hope you find a good option. I'm sure someone out there can help you. If it makes you feel any better, I hope, there are hundreds of millions of people who'd give almost anything to be 20 again. Be safe!

I'm sorry you are having a hard time, being and pain and overwhelmed. I think it's not helpful to be told that you are 20, so you should just be able to snap out of it. It's never easy, regardeless the age. Our issues always feel heavy to us when we are in pain.
So, it's understandable you feel the way you do.

Also, yeah, your father might have the right to demand things because you are living there, in the same time an understanding father would support their child when going through tough times. Then, he is most probably still suffering after the loss. In these situations pain can make people do and say things they wouldn't normally do. But I don't know the exact situation.

Also, you might be convinced now that what you want to do is impossble and it might even very much seem so, but maybe there are things you could do to mve towards it in the future or something similar? Not sure, maybe not, just asking.

Is it possible for you to get some help, talk to a therapist for example? It is possible that you are depressed to the extent you cannot work right now. Hope you can talk to someone to help you through this

Meanwhile, feel free to share your thoughts here.

I'm really sorry Must be really hard to cope with that loss.. I also don't know what to do in my future.. so I can relate

I'm sorry for your loss.

My grandmother passed away last July and I'm still grieving, so I definitely understand. However, I understand where your father is coming from too... Did you tell him what you told us about the way you're feeling?