Bodies

I know this will probably sound crazy but i hate that people have a body. it disgusts me!

I hate all the sounds of it: eating, drinking, vomiting, snoring, talking, breathing, etc

and i hate that people can touch me. some people are "allowed" in my mind, but most of them arent, and i hate it when they touch my body with theirs.

and romantically.... cuddling, kissing, sex.... how could i live with anyone?

i have tried to ignore all of this all my life but right now i cant anymore. im sick of it!

ideally id love to live in an isolated room. people.... i dont know... with them i feel unsafe, bothered, too stimulated.... i feel hurt? by all of this.

and i dont see a way out since... unless i decide to become an hermit or ??? not even living in my own flat and never getting out seems enough since there are always neighbors around with their noises... and i cant afford a villa for sure. cant even afford a flat...

i dont know but i feel this is just another reason to just give up. just another proof that im not made for this life.

Have you considered seeing a therapist to help you deal with this issue? A therapist could help you come up with a good game plan. Good luck.

Sorry you're struggling right now have you tried talking to your therapist about this? Also have you tried any medications?

Yes, i've talked about this with my T.... but what could she do?

Well she can't do anything in a literal sense. What she can do is help you explore your feelings and reactions and maybe figure out why you are so disgusted by bodies.

I'm sure it's more common than you think. People with OCD issues, for example, or certain eating disorders, or phobias, would probably identify.

A therapist can't fix you. That is up to you to do yourself. But, a therapist can guide you and offer you resources along the way. It requires work and you must be willing. A psychiatrist could be helpful too. There are medications that could help ease this discomfort you have and allow you to live a more livable life. I encorage you to seek the care of either.

Thanks, i will discuss it again with my T tomorrow.

Purple,Violet,Blue, as a matter of fact my T diagnosed me with OCD, i probably have some form of ED and i have a phobia called Emetophobia... thanks for making me feel i probably am not alone in this....

Do you talk to a Doctor? You really need to share your concern with a Doctor...even if it is a family Doctor. I prefer PHD myself. They have harder tests to pass. Then even a family Doctor can guide you popper.

Sprite

I'm sorry you're struggling with all of this. It seems pretty serious. Try to talk to your T, and let us know how it goes..

I was curious to see if other people have this problem....

and i have found something called "MISOPHONIA". that could be the problem with body sounds....

as for touch, maybe it comes from CSA....

Sounds interesting. I'll google it. What's CSA?

CSA stands for Childhood Sexual Abuse.

i have talked with my T a lot about this today and she was very validating. finally a nice session!

she tried to understand the root of it and even if we werent able to identify the cause, i feel better for having talked about this with her.

maybe this is getting worse because i really need to finally go live alone. i feel guilty for this, even as if i were abandoning my parents, but really, its time! as soon as i can i'll move out.

Sending lots of love. Yes, that makes even more sense now, about the CSA. Very sorry to hear that.

You are not alone with this. I too can’t bear to be touched. I can’t even stand someone standing too close behind me in a queue. My issues are due to CSA. I have improved a bit recently as I have allowed my new b/f to hug me. It’s by permission though & I dont like it, but try to put on a bit of a front. I feel like it’s something I have to endure, a bit like the CSA was! I feel that I’m weird & it does bother me. I talk about it a lot with my t, who sort of normalises it in my case.

That’s great that you and your therapist have worked on this and it’s helping. As time goes on and you continue to explore it there is a good chance of making progress. Keep going, we’re rooting for you.

Is this also true for other living things? Do you hate being in contact with animals?

My issues are different from yours but I have these exact thoughts sometimes. It’s really hard this life.

I dont think this (hating hearing them breathe/sneeze/cough...) has a chance to improve until i'll move out. i think this feels exaggerated by the annoyance of having to acknowledge the presence of my parents at home.... then... maybe could get better?
but still, i hate hearing my cat breathe, so i dont know????

as for touch, i do not mind contact with animals, actually i like to hug my cat! instead, hugs really bother me with humans, unless i really feel like it too. if i dont feel like hugging, i let them hug me but i do not reciprocate it... i just let them do it and i even feel magnanimous in letting them (mostly my mom/brother) hug me.

That's nice, that you enjoy touching your cat. Animals are our friends! They can be your companions for the rest of your life.

As for humans, it's entirely up to you how much or little contact you have. Read up about how to set boundaries. There are some good articles on this forum about exactly that.

Best wishes to you.

I have OCD and I too have an issue with bodies. Not the same one, but an issue all the less. It's mostly to do with my own body. But many sounds other people make, in particular loud/sudden ones, bother me more than the average person. I get mad when my wife coughs, sneezes, even laughs sometimes. It gets under my skin and it feels like it goes right inside me in a way I can't explain except perhaps to others who have OCD and know what it feels like to have 'intrusive' thoughts that never go away. I hope you are able to find a resolution. I know the torment these things can cause. I mostly have become a hermit for various reasons and it helps but then I'm also alone all the time so it's a doube-edged sword.