....and I am freaking out. I need to pay car insurance, car payment, cell phone, and a couple other bills. Since I basically have no control over my spending or ability to monitor my bank account I am so afraid of what I am going to find. Ugh. Here it goes....

omg, I think I'm going to be sick.

[Perna]

Hope you find a way to fix it! As my grandmother use to say, "This too shall pass."

My mom says that. Somehow, though, this one never passes. On how many occasions have I said that I've learned my lesson this time? I never follow through. Today I feel like the most irresponsible, disorganized %#@&#! loser there is.

[ECHOES]

ugh I hate that!

I just did that today.

I KNOW that I feel better when I keep track of my finances and I KNOW how to do that (something called "discipline"? I think it's foreign word), but I will spend days wondering and fretting and STILL SPENDING and wondering and fretting and not sleeping, until I call the bank for a reality check.



If I ever win the lottery..... I will just be bouncing bigger checks.

I just can't believe myself. I mean, really-- I only work 3 days per week since I started my internship... I took a 600 dollar decrease per month in my pay and I'm still spending and not keeping track as though I had unlimited money. I don't like myself very much right now.

[ECHOES]

((( pink ))) go easy on yourself. All you can do is go from here, right?

[bflatgary]

Pinky,

I allowed bad habits like that to destroy my business, and as a result my family has an additional $60,000 in debt. My suggestion- leave your debit card at home. Budget yourself with a small amount of cash. Cut your expenses.

I recently started a new job in the same field that my business was in. I have cut back on some non-essentials. We got rid of the wireless internet, so I can only go online with my desktop. We have basic cable now, no special channels. I have not re-subscribed to several online services that I like. I fired the landscaper, and now I mow my own lawn. We eat out less. It will take a long time before all will be okay, but we are moving forward.

Good luck, I hope you straighten out the problem.

Gary

[DePressMe]

You're not the only one pinksoil...I overdrew my account twice in the last 2 months because I was not keeping track. I have my bank account set up online, now I check it all the time to make sure I am okay. Maybe you should consider doing that?

[eskielover]

Pink soil,

I would definitely not suggest going easy on yourself....you have to start being tough on yourself...knock yourself in the head a few times & knock some sense into yourself. My husand is just the same way & I let him get away with it....I even went along with it because it was the easy way to live. I knew better but all the fighting wasn't worth it at the time.

Now I got into control & have since cut all excess spending...no frills & nothing that isn't needed. Finally just in budget but that's tight. We have been married for 32 years & he basically ruined the marriage....I can't trust him & won't even allow him to move into my house in Kentucky. I will not deal with his irresposnible money handling & now I fight to the death his stupidity...& won't let him get away with anything...not one thing.

That is what you have to do with yourself. Get together the amount of $ you actually have to spend everymonth & the actual bills you have to pay that HAVE to be paid. Once you have some money over that (if you do) then you can look at the other nice things you have in your life & add them back in one at a time until the amount of money you have matches the outgo. At that time, you have to STOP all other spending. Yes, it takes self discipline....but it's something you MUST do if you don't want to destroy yourself.

Bflatgary, expressed it perfectly...it's a matter of budgeting & not using your debit card. Doing things yourself that you would have others do & get rid of the "non-essentials".

You can do it, but you have to really want to & really know that you have to instead of continuing along, thinking that you have always been bailed out in the past....there will come a time where "this too shall pass" won't pass anymore. Being responsible for finances & debt is the one thing in life that Doesn't pass....it haunts you forever & don't forget it.

I am digging my way out of my finances & my husbands irresponsible spending...it isn't ok & it doesn't feel good...you think you feel bad now....it can only get worse if you don't stop NOW.

Debbie

Debbie how would you like an all expenses paid trip to Philadelphia to come to my house and kick me in the head? lol, you mean business. I need you over here. You are completely right and I appreciate your response. I know there will come a time when I won't be able to get bailed out. I also need to understand that buying all the things in the world won't help my empty feelings-- and that the more I spend the worse I end up feeling. I buy so many non-essentials that it's ridiculous.

[eskielover]

Pinksoil,

I would love a trip to PA.....my grandpa was born there & that's a part of the country I have never seen.......I'm a lot closer to PA now than when I was living in CA.....over 1/2 the way there already......lol.

Unfortunately, I know exactly what you are feeling because I've been there only about a year ago, so the feelings are fresh in my mind. I continually have to remind myself even now & plan all my expenses. It's a lot of work, but in the end, I have found that the feelings of being successful at finances gives me even better feelings that that of spending. It's a very fulfilling feeling knowing that one can be in control. That feeling of being in control is very inpowering & it really is an amazing feeling to experience.

I know you can get there....whenever you need to talk or need some support....it's ok to PM me......I'll be glad to help however I can,
Debbie

[Divaluscious]

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