Everything happens for a reason

I have always been a firm believer in the statment everything happens for a reason. Then last friday i got in a fight with my best friend and everything felt like it was falling apart. My world was crashing around me. It seemed like after that night everything that could go wrong was going wrong and the one person i wanted to talk to hated my guts.

I didnt know what to do. Haivng that fight just reassured the feeling i have that i mess everything up, that im not good enough, and that no one will ever stand by me. I tried talking to bob grant (my 22 yr.old friend) about this but theres only so much he can say and then saras(my dr.phil) in another country but she said she has faith we can fix this when the itme is right. The reality is though, that it was my friend and i who had to fix this.

I had tried my best to prevent the fight from happening. It didnt work, it actually jsut got her more mad. So, I tried apologizing and she wouldnt accept it and the things is i just really wanted to hear from her that she was sorry. That she understood how much she hurt me. That she heard what i was saying. when days went by i keep playing it over in my head wondering where i went wrong and why this was happening. My sociology teacher told me i couldnt let her walk all over me. That it seemed she was taking for granted my friendship and that sorry wasnt my job at that point and i needed to step aside and wait it out. Bob Grant told me "give her time to realize what she lost because if she really wants to make things right, she will. and if she doesnt then u know shes not the frined u thought she was." this made me think a lot. What if she didnt try to fix this, what if she ends up not being my friend anymore. But i took his advice and i stoped trying to talk to her and i waited. You know what?She ended up coming to me today, and saying she didnt want to fight anymore and she was sorry. We both expressed how we felt honestly and things are better.

I actually think we will be closer because of this. We both have gone through so much and she told me that she wants me to know that its ok we fight because we are 16 and i dont have to try to prevent the fights because they will happen. Im just so happy everyhtings fixed because i was so stressed out to begin with that this had me throwing up and crying. I still feel like im a screw up and i cant do anything right and my life is just not good right now but, as long as i have my best friend at my side i know it will be ok =] and.... everything happens for a reason! The reason for our fight was to make us stronger and bring us closer. We already knew we could handle the tears we just had to prove we could handle the fights too.

God doesnt give you any more then you can handle and God doesnt abadon you when ur weak, he carries you. Everything happens for a reason, sometimes though the reasons arent clear.

ily amanda marie <3

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Court_Knee said:
I have always been a firm believer in the statment everything happens for a reason.

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I am still a firm believer than every thing HAPPENS for a REASON....... the Good and the Bad.

Please hang in there and know that every thing is going as it should and that you are not a bad person nor did you screw up...... YOU are PERFECT just the way YOU are.

I have been a firm believer in this all my life. Let go of that belief when depression hit my life at the age of 42....& that belief stayed gone until about 6 months ago when I finally got myself together & had a good chance to realize the me that I had lost for so many years.

Looking back....even during those years when I let go of that belief, it was true even then....I just didn't see it. I still wonder what the reason was that I attempted suicide so many times....but luckily for my now that I realize how wonderful life really is, I never was successful.

Now I can see everyday how every little thing happens for a reason.....a learning tool, something to make me stronger. I have learned over the years that when something goes wrong that I need to sit back & look at the situation....not jump in & try to fix it or make it happen the way I want it to go.

When I sit back & look at the situation, then I can make the right choices. I can also see what part I took in the situation & decide if there is something I did or thought or said that I would have done differently. I use these situations as learning tools to improve myself in the future. I will never be perfect & always will want to learn to be a better person & the only way I can do that is to be open to the experiences around me & the people around me. It also gives me a chance to interface with others & be able to make suggestions as to how situations could have been improved....especially if I'm not happy with the outcome of something.

Fights with others doen't always imply that we mess everything up, or that we aren't good enough or that it's even us that's the cause of the fight. I know for me, I have had enough of the situation I'm in with my husband. I have been pushed enough & the only way to go for me is to let it out....& that ends up in a fight. Honestly, it feels good to finally let is out & get everything said that needs to be said. It usually turns into a fight because he doesn't want to hear anything I have to say, but I really don't care....it has to be said. I'm not walking out without being completely understood...I don't want anything being left to mis-communications & anything being left to be implied.

Sometimes when we are straight forward & say something the other person doesn't want to hear, it turns into a fight expecially when they become defensive....but sometimes even that needs to happen.....this is why I am a firm believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason...& sometimes the reason is for the other person too.....we never can tell at the time.

I think that everyone involved in the situations should learn from them & understand the reasons things happen....that is the only way we grow & mature....something that never ends in life. I find it actually very interesting & exciting, never knowing what I am going to learn from a situation that happens. That is the beauty of life & being alive are the experiences we live through & survive through. Even the trauma I just lived through has taught me to be a much stronger person & to be able to see things that I previosly didn't see in people....being able to judge people easier & sometimes anticipate the bad & be able to stop it before it happens.

Learning is usually the reason for something happening.....sometimes learning the hard way, but learning seems to be the key for me when things happen.

Debbie

personally i dont believe things happen for a reason at all but i do believe there is something positive to be found and cherished in every single event. its up to us to find it, recognise it and take it to heart though. im glad you have done this in this situation court_knee. way to go.