breaking down

im so confused and overwhelmed by everything.

i dont know who i am or what im doing.

im so scared of relationships and where they can lead. i dont trust easily. but..i think i really like someone in a "more-than-friend" way.. i dont know if they feel the same way about me and there is no way i can express it right without feeling stupid.

suicide is on my mind so much agin. i try and push it away but it just keeps coming as though its the obvious answer to every problem.

schooling life is a current nightmare.

im falling into my little pit of despair again but its so deep im having trouble climbing out.

people always tell me that the answers are out there yet noone seems to be able to tell me where they are.

i am trying so hard. i dont even know if i want it anymore.

(((((silentdeath))))

I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad right now, please read these words written by Richard Wilkins, I always read this poem when I'm feeling down, just to remind myself things WILL get better. Sending hugs your way, know there is much support here at pc for you.....Take care of YOU....Jinnyann xxxxx

I KNOW YOU'LL MAKE IT THROUGH.....

You try to get some sleep
but nightime magnifies,
things that troubled you by day
at nightime grow in size.

Awful sweaty sheets,
you wake with such a start,
a marathon you feel you've run
with such a pounding heart.

People offer you advice
you know that they're sincere,
but words that leave their mouth
scarcely reach your ear.

And what about the stomach,
suddenly in free fall
it makes legs turn to jelly
so you have to crawl.

A brave face you wear for others
as life of course goes on,
but it's hard to eat a meal
when all appetite is gone.

Friendships you once valued
problems can erode,
than share a troubled path with you
many cross the road.

You make that fateful statement
'it can't get any worse'
then of course it does
as you go into reverse.

But I couldn't write these words
unless once I'd felt like you,
so these words come with experience
....I KNOW YOU'LL MAKE IT THROUGH

Jinny is right.....there are many caring people here at PC who understand your confusion and being overwhelmed. I too at one point felt that way. And as people have told you they told me the same thing.....the answers are out there. That would frustrate me. I understand.

Find one thing that gives you the feeling of joy and hang on to that. It doesn't matter how insignificant or small it is....you hang on. Try to find one positive thing to say to yourself when you get up in the morning....no matter what it is.

The change doesn't happen over night but replacing some of the negative thoughts with some positive will help.

I am sorry you feel this way and know that some of us here in some way or another relate to you. You are not alone.
Snow

Hang in there...I have been where you are at...yes, it does get better. For me it was finding the right combo of meds, therapy and support...keep writing about it and maybe we can find a way to help support you. Don't give up!

thank you..

dont really know what else to say..

(((((((everyone)))))))