Hatred of Men

I have the deepest hatred of men. I was watching this movie about this girl who got raped and the felling of this deep loathing was so strong I started crying. I've never been raped or sexually abused, but I have been deceived and ridiculed by men.

Does anyone else feel this way?

cat eye,

First, welcome to the forums. I'm sorry that you've had bad experiences with men in your past, I truly am. I speak only for myself when I say that I find your comment of having "the deepest hatred of men" to be insulting at the very least. I struggle everyday to try and be the best person I can be. I think I treat people, men and women, with respect. I do my best to be caring and supportive to the members here at Grohol. And when someone comes here and pronounces a hatred of men, I take that very personally. And I find it abusive. You don't know me, you know nothing about me. What gives you the right to pass judgement over me just because you've had a bad experience, one I had nothing to do with?

Then you want to know if others share your hatred? If you're looking to start a man-haters club, I sincerly hope you'll look elsewhere for it's home. This type of bias and predjudice have no place here.

Thank you,
Greg



"Beauty is truth, truth is beauty - that is all you know on earth, and all you need to know"

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Greg}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.
Dorothy Bernard

((((((((((((((((((((((Greg))))))))))))))))))))))))

I think hatred is a very strong and powerful emotion that pulls us in an unhealthy direction, no matter what (or who) it's directed at.

However, we're here to support our struggle over our negative emotions. If you'd like to find ways to help return to a healthy balance in your feelings, stick around and maybe you'll find ways to help cope with your feelings. Otherwise, I wish you the best of luck...

DocJohn

I read in your profile that your dad died when you were 14. Maybe that has something to do with your feelings too? That's awfully young to lose a parent. Maybe there is some underlying feelings about him "leaving" you when you still needed him? The other issues you mentioned surely have to do with your anger too, but maybe underneath, it might have something to do with the loss of your dad? I'm just wondering. emmy

Dear Cat Eye:
I've been deceived and ridiculed by PEOPLE all my life - especially in professional environments, but also while I was a student. People can be mean, really mean, and they can say and do harmful things, but, honestly, try to see that it's not exactly about gender. It's about society and culture.

I wish you peace in your heart.

Saudade :-)

Hating males is just as bad as hating black people, or hating latinos, or hating New Yorkers, or hating in a generalized way.

I hope this hate you feel goes away, it is not a healthy feeling.

Yes some males are jerks, but some are beautiful. Don't robe yourself from meeting and befriends with some wonderful males that are around.

gab

cat eye,

It is true more violence is commited towards women by men than the other way. It is very unfortunate. I have read many theories and discussed it in psychology classes I have taken. One theory is that men have more pressure to compose themselves emotionally throughout their lives. For example, young boys are often ridiculed by older men for crying and are called "sissies" and told to "grow up and be a man". etc. This ofcourse isn't healthy and may be why men end up expressing their emotions in anger often with great intensitiy. This is just one perspective of this that I can see some sense in. I hope this helps you to gain a different way of looking at men. I encourage you to seek out a professional to help you further.

Meachie

Cat Eye, is it possible a man did something to you that you don't remember? The word "Hate" is really strong! Maybe you meant "distrust"?

It's a good thing to remember, too, that when someone critizises you or makes fun of you, it isn't necessarily about YOU. It's more likely about THEM. At the very least, it's about their lack of MANNERS.

One last thing: remember, "feelings are neither good nor bad. They just ARE." No one has the right to tell you that you shouldn't feel that way or that you shouldn't express your feelings. How else are you going to work them out? If someone takes YOUR feelings personally, then it's THEIR problem, ok?




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

I'm very sorry greg. I was in a passionate and angry mood at the time and have since sorted everything out. I shouldn't have generalized males like that. I have met nice guys before, and I should have included that in post (or maybe I shouldn't have posted that at all). I didn't mean to offend you, and I send you my deepest apologies. That really wasn't cool of me at all.

I realize that I made a mistake by posting this. It was really unfair to males, as I was stereotyping them and being sexist. It wasn't cool of me and I apologize.

(((greg)))

<font color=red>~</font color=red><font color=blue>S</font color=blue><font color=green>u</font color=green><font color=blue>n</font color=blue><font color=green>d</font color=green><font color=blue>a</font color=blue><font color=green>n</font color=green><font color=blue>c</font color=blue><font color=green>e</font color=green><font color=red>~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

I chose to wait to reply to this post in hopes that you would find the courage to apologize, and I am happy that you had the courage here to do so.
I am a 28 year old man, who because of physical/emotional abuse from my father has a deep distrust of men, but in truth, women in my life have caused me so much more pain it seems than he ever did.
There are a few great guys out there, just as I am convinced that there are a few great ladies out there also.
I recognized that you were venting, and am glad to see you had the courage to make amends.
For Greg--Because of my distrust of men, I find it difficult to relate with them very well, but from many of your posts and replies on the forums I trust that you are truly one of the great guys out there. Someone is/ or will be quite fortunate to have you. You have been so supportive to so many here, keep it up.
Jon