[xan2004]

I am here to say sorry to everyone even new comers the reason I apologise is that I left this site for a few reason's which none of them include this site because it's hard to blame a site that is here to help us all in anyway it can.
my reason's are.
selfishness
depression
abondoned(Ihave BPD)
anxiety
anger
pain
doctors not responding(how are we to get better if our doctors give up on us because we get a little angry sometimes)
and many more reasons connected with BPD,
I am appologising because they are not good reason's to go away from this site it should brought me to the site.
what get's me is that I'm always angry,moody,tired and anxious and no matter how I feel I can't express myself without fear of rejection no matter what anybody say's so I am appologising for my time away and also in advance please just tell me what I can do to make it up to everyone.

[SweetCrusader]

welcome back! (((((hugs))))) <--- only if ok

Angela (sc)

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-

[krzyk101]

Hi,

No need to be sorry about leaving for awhile. I too have troubles with rejection and personality disorders. The important thing is that you came back. I have trouble remembering things, so I do remember your name.

I have so many of the same fears especially about making posts. I often do not post due the the very fear of rejection. Or that my post is not important. These are not true to me or to you either. I have been trying to make posts and do hope you will continue to post or reply.

I often say sorry alot when things really I do not have anything to do as being my fault only feel as if it is my fault. I am very happy that you came back. Fear can really bring us down. Even when it is on the computer.

I am glad you made the post I am sure that it took alot of courage to come back here and make a post. Try not to worry about the reply's to your posts, as for some reason when I tried to reply it sent me to your pm box. I guess that is what they feel is best right now.

Please feel free to PM me anytime, I will try to help if I am able and could use some friends myself.

Once again Welcome back-- Chris

______________
~KRIS~

If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!

[Fuzzybear]

Hi xan, welcome back.
I, and I believe many of us here, have a lot of the same issues. I am from the UK and I have had a very bad time with doctors. Too many of them seem to label and blame the people who have the strength and motivation to seek help, instead of offering the help they are paid to give. So they should not be doctors IMO I wonder if it is a doctor who has made you feel selfish ...

I am very glad you came back!

Hugs if ok,
Fuzzy

[willoughby]

You said how I feel! I too have left this site for numerous reasons. #1 being I feel as though I dont fit in. I am afraid to post at times because of rejection as well.
I know exactly how you feel. As a matter of fact I had left again, and deceided to read some posts. When I read your response, I said to myself. "that's exactly how I feel" I know it's my problem and no one else but I cant help the way I feel.
It seems as though life is full of cliques. And, there are cliques here as well. I do love to come here and visit. But I chose to just keep to myself.

"you only have one chance to make a first impression"

I am convinced that if only the sane people like me (HA HA) were, these forums would not be very exciting. Recognize that like you, everyone else here are at different stages in their journey. And as long as it remains a journey, there are so many people here who are AWESOME and will become an important part of your life.
Trust that you have so much to bring to us whether you recognize it or not; and allow US to be a part of your life to. Welcome back.
Jon

[krzyk101]

I am writing to clear up a few things anout my post. For one I have never left the forums since I have joined.

I did not intend for my post to make it sound like I 'dont fit in' I have never felt that way here. I am just a fairly distant person and my fears of posting and rejection are that of perhaps a newcomer who has not known me, making a reply in general that could cause me emottional pain or hurt. I am not saying this has happened it is the fact that I am so sensitive, that even someone who I do not even know could really hurt my feelings even if it was not intentional.

Cliques I do not feel I have any part in. I do not feel in general that there are cliques here other than some people have been here longer and may know the person on a more personal level and understand more of what is being saidl

I do not know many here on a very personal level, only have got to know a couple people on a higher level than others. I am though beginning to trust and open up more and that I feel is a big step for me. I am the type of person who can become easily hurt, even persay by a clerk at a store. I am just at times extemely sensitive.

I am worried that my reply is what is causing so much distress here. If it is I honestly did not intend for it to hurt anyone or make anyone upset, if I did I apologize. I am so thankful for this site and the people here.

Honestly I am not one to leave the site, in fact just the opposite, I fear that something will happen and I will not be able to come here anymore. That is just me. For example a couple of months ago I could not get 'into' the forums and it really caused me alot of distress as I come here daily. I know it was a programming problem now, however at the time I felt abondonded and felt I had done something wrong that I couldn't get 'into' the forums.

I am sorry if anyone took my reply as negative because it was not. I am unable at this time able to go to chat, which makes for me to know some less about the people here. I only know by the posts and public profile.

Just wanted everyone to know that I do feel safe here and I am sorry if I am making people not feel safe from my first reply.

Take Care- CHRIS


______________
~KRIS~

If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((Kris))))))))))))))))

You have never made me feel unsafe here,

Take care,
Fuzzy, the at times too silent and sensitive bear



<div class="foot">(Edited by Fuzzybear on 08/18/04 01:04 PM.)</div>
<div class="foot">(Edited by Fuzzybear on 08/18/04 01:17 PM.)</div>

[SweetCrusader]

you don't sound insane. you sound like you are dealing with a lot of pain, confusion, and fear. maybe it is time to look for a different doctor.

and when you say "i keep having to put i instead of we" do you mean that you have a tendency to refer to yourself as "we"?

i'm sorry you're going through this. we are all here for you, though. just try to hang on. and keep posting, if it helps you!!!!

(((((hugs))))) <--- only if ok with you

Angela

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-

[xan2004]

I say we sometimes because I keep forgeting we don't all suffer exactly the same that is what makes us all unique the fact that we are all individuals, I have tried changing doctors they are all judgemental plus they never has a designated doctor they only have stand in psychiatrists because for some reason they can't get one to stay maybe that's because I'm there well maybe not although I am sure I have caused the most trouble there.
I'll tell you what although I have tried changing docs well technically they have all been different but only because they are not permanent i'll actually ASK for a different doctor.
only two docs have listened and been supportive.

[saudade]

Xan and Chris and Jon and Ozzie and everyone else:
Someone invited me to join Orkut. Orkut kept repling my invitation with an error mesage and I felt such incredible rejection that I had to laugh. Rejected by a, what is that? Community of who has the most non-friends?

Yeah, right!

This third world Orkut reject has received such a warm welcome in here... I will not apologize. I will not apologise, either.

Just one big thank you for being here.

Love
Peace

[SweetCrusader]

what is "Orkut"? i'm lost!!!

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-

[darkeyes]

No reason to make up to anyone, your well being is the important thing at this present time, and I personally do not see a need for you to apologize, okay?
You take some time, treat yourself to something, free time to just relax, or whatever would be fun for you.

PS also know that you are welcome to return anytime.
Please take care now,

DE

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON