[angel04]

in the words of one of my favorite bands, Nickelback "something's gotta go wrong cuz I'm feeling way too damned good"
I knew this good place that I was in would be marred by something bad. It always is. Why does life seem to want to drop kick you when you're feeling good? However, it doesn't directly kick ME. It beats on the people I love instead and that's worse.
Don't worry about replies. It's a rhetorical question. Just wanted to say it somewhere.
*sigh*
T

Per ardua ad astra
Motto of the Royal Canadian Air Force
"through adversity to the stars"

[Panic_Man]

Wow, you sound EXACTLY like me!!

Every time I have something good happen in my life I'm always suspicous and thinking to myself "ok, what's the catch here?". Sort of like hitting the lottery and then you die the next day or someone sues you for your winnings or the IRS takes it all, etc.

Sometimes you just can't win at this "game" of life.

[Fuzzybear]

I can relate ...

Take care,
Fuzzy

[mj14]

angel, I know that feeling all too well. Even when you're doing good, there's this sense of just waiting for the thing that's going to ruin it all. But it is the depression telling you that. Life always has it's good times and bad times. So when you are doing good, there's a bad time coming...but also, when you are doing bad, there's good times on the horizon. Just that terrible depression keeps us from remember that second half.

I'm really sorry that things are bad for you. But I hope you can remember that it's only temporary, and you will be in a good place again.

*hugs*
mj

<font color=green> If she spins fast enough then maybe the broken pieces of her heart will stay together, but even a gyroscope can't spin forever</font color=green>

[angel04]

thanks for the replies guys. Thing is, I'm not at all depressed. I haven't been this NOT depressed in a long long time and I don''t intend to be depressed ever again. When my marriage ended, I was a mess for a long time but since moving out of the matrimonial home, I've been steadily doing better. Finding the person I was before I got married and realizing that I was being held back by my marriage and the life of hell it created for me. I was a terrible wife, not something I was at all good at or even enjoyed. My divorce is the best thing that has ever happened to me, strange as that sounds. There is a big bright future ahead of me, scary as hell but, it's there, if I want it. I didn't realize until recently that my depression was entirely situational, not chemical or neurological. My anxiety is up pretty high right now seeing all the changes that have and are occuring around me but I can live with that. I'm in intensive therapy for the anxiety and I'm hopeful.
It's just that when I am doing well, even a little, something happens that isn't good at all. That's all I meant. I'm fine, strong and not depressed but there are things happening to someone I love a lot that I am angry about. It's just not fair but it's completely out of my control. That's frustrating and I'm sad about it. It won't send me into another depression because the situation that caused all my problems (my marriage) is over. I just wish I could change the situation for my loved one. I wish I could make all the pain go away. It's just a very helpless feeling.
thanks again for the replies. I appreciate being acknowleged.
take care
tina

Per ardua ad astra
Motto of the Royal Canadian Air Force
"through adversity to the stars"