[love_hate_sad]

This is somthing i have seen and i know is going on here. I have a question for you all. If you arn't willing to get better then why are you here? This place is to help support others hoping to get better. I think that if you want to get better its not up to others to make choices for you or how to do things...its up to you only. Think about that people. Don't come in here just because you have friends...come here because you want to get better.But you have to try. If you don't try then your waisting others time. Don't do that...its not fair to yourself or others.

[Rhapsody]

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love_hate_sad said:
If you arn't willing to get better then why are you here?

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You must first understand that it takes time to get better and usually people are here as to talk thru their pains and anger so they can heal from deep inner wounds that still controls them from within. So what you see as them coming here looking for some one to do it all for them I see it as them venting & sharing as to heal.
........ as I often do - just look at my last post in Grief & Loss - I was not looking for some one to heal me, but rather I was looking for many to help me heal thru sharing my pain & guilt until I found some sense in the healing process.

[Kelly3]

Uhh. I think you may be being quite harsh.
I'm sure we all WANT to get better on this site, but it's really not that easy, is it ?
And possibly, some people have joined the site due to mental health issues, made friends, but after recovering, they still wanted to be in touch with them.
so, yeah.. ease up a little hon?

kelly.

[nowheretorun]

did you witness any abuse love_hate_sad? we wouldnt want that here...

gosh I'm quite triggered by your harshness and quite upset...of course people who come here want to get better....has someone upset you?

I'm so sorry you are hurting/angry, please know we are all friends and help one another...

Jinny xx

[Cthomas]

I know that a lot of us want to get "better". however, that being said, we all have some issues that are moreso chemical imbalances in the brain. therefore theres no "cure" for the illness, but there is trying to get better at your life. Better in regards to having more good days than bad. some of us dont have the luxury of "getting better" persay. So I think all of us would love to get better in general and that IS why were here.
And the reason we stay is for the help in that issue(s) and then the fact that we DO make friends who are in similar situations helps.

A lot of us have also been abused. you never get over the abuse. you get past it. by working through it and thats what this forum is about.

Thats why Im here at least. Im sure others will be along with theyre takes on this . I hope to see you still posting. and we do care here. thats why we stay.

take care.

Colleen

[ziggy1]

yeah that was a tad harsh...people network, become friends, and healing is a process which is totally different to everyone. I can relate with alot of the people in here and they have helped me tremendously.

I continue to care for the others that are here and give them as much support as i can. There have been people coming to this site since it was designed like what 2003 maybe longer?

[AlteredState01]

Gee, love_hate_sad:

Have you ever considered that some people will NEVER get better? That their illness(es) are permanent? That coming here is their only refuge from a world that really cannot understand what they go through day in and day out? That, indeed, the ONLY friends some of us have are here on this site?

Did you ever think about what would happen to PC if those who did feel better and left for good, did leave? Where do you think we would get the awesome advise from - someone sicker than us, perhaps???

How would that work, exactly??

Do you think the majority of the advise given here is from DocJohn directly? Or the mods / admin?

How would we be able to get a miriad of different ideas if only the sickest were here?

It seems to me, it is ALL of the people who come here that make up this place.

If you took away everyone that you say should leave, that would leave how many people???

One?? You???

In all your infinite wisdom, can you answer everyone's questions day in and day out? Can you understand everyone's problems? Can you comfort everyone who comes here for comforting? Could you even keep up with just greeting the people who sign up on a daily basis? I hardly think so

This is a CRAP question, and I think you are wasting OUR time, by asking this!!!!

[Rhapsody]

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Cthomas said:
A lot of us have also been abused... you never get over the abuse... you get past it... by working through it and thats what this forum is about.

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That is so true and it is part of my story....... I have been here for two years now and I am just getting to point that I am not so angry or hate ALL MEN for what twelve or so men did to me as a child.

And while my progress may have been slow to some people - I am just glad that I am getting there and I owe a lot of this progress to all the wonderful (and some not so wonderful people) for helping me thru a very painful healing process..... even if many thought I was hopeless and helpless.

[Kelly3]

Well, yeah.. thats basically what i wanted to say without offending love_hate_sad. so thanks for saying that AlteredState.. lol x

[GoodMama]

I'm confused! Have we been reading the same things?

Granted, I'm here to <u>learn</u> but I've found the people on this forum to be more than helpful, more than willing to help others, more than interested in finding a way to help themselves. Sure, they come here because they have made friends ... but do you know how difficult it has been for them to make those friends? How difficult it is for most to TRUST enough to post their stories? How many times I've seen that they've posted these stories ... have opened up ... for the very first time?

I, for one, am in AWE of the bravery and the strength of the people who come here for HELP ... and to finally find friends who understand what's been happening with them!

Yep ... I'm confused! But I'm still trying to be a

GoodMama

[Rhapsody]

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AlteredState01 said:
Gee, love_hate_sad:

Have you ever considered that some people will NEVER get better?
That their illness(es) are permanent?
That coming here is their only refuge from a world that really cannot understand what they go through day in and day out?
That, indeed, the ONLY friends some of us have are here on this site?

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AMEN!! - and so TRUE................... Thx.

I personally could never have talked to people in RL about a lot of the issues I talk about here on PC - I just couldn't.

Okay.... you got our attention. What exactly is your point? What is the source of your hurt that you are venting about? I could read between the lines but I'd prefer a little more direction from you first love_hate_sad.

My heart goes out to your pain but I'm not sure what kind of support you are needing right now to direct my thoughts.

Hope you feel able to share. We are all at various stages of hope and recovery. We each journey towards living full and productive lives within our given and learned capacities. Some days we scale tall buildings, other days we stall and other days we fall behind. Coming to PC we are supported wherever we are at.

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Okay.... you got our attention. What exactly is your point?

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My sentiments exactly!

Could it be "friends" that you are yearning for here?

[selfy]

some here need much support. some here need little. but doesntmean to say we shoulnt be here. cuz, when u think. if thissite was just full of those who needed help, and noone who was strong enough to provide? whats the point?
plus. you can learn here. you can gain many things here. i know i have. i dont have serious problems, mine are very minor. but still. we all have our place in pc.
i choose to try and help. because i know i am strong. i know i dont need much help. so we all have our place.
i think its a little harsh, because i know u refer to people like me. and yeah it kicks me in the teeth cuz i feel like i have enough trouble validating my appearence here. but yah. i try by tryingto help. by not making my problems broadcasted. if i make myself strong for all the weaker peeps, i can help and be of use here. so yah

were all here for arreason

dot

[gardenergirl]

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love_hate_sad said:
...its not up to others to make choices for you or how to do things...its up to you only.

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Okay...

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Think about that people. Don't come in here just because you have friends...come here because you want to get better.But you have to try. If you don't try then your waisting others time. Don't do that...its not fair to yourself or others.

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So then given what you said before, why then are you telling others what they should do?

gg

[nowheretorun]

i always think of: share, learn, grow... we all need help sometimes... other times we get to help .... i just wouldnt want abusers here... just my opinion everyone....

[Kelly3]

Wonderfuly said, Dot.
And there is no such thing as a minor problem. A problem is a problem, it needs to be sorted. You don't get "scoring" on issues.
you wouldn't see a cancer patient shouting out "180 points" or someone with a sore throat shouting "3 points"
They'd both be fighting to get rid of the problem.
and you do NOT need to "validate your appearance here" - appearance valid
tc dot, you're amazing.

and love_hate_sad.
Please think of others before you make another post like the last.

kelly.

[Rhapsody]

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nowheretorun said:
i always think of: share, learn, grow...
we all need help sometimes... other times we get to help ....
i just wouldnt want abusers here... just my opinion everyone....

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I agree..........................................

[DocJohn]

To the original poster.....

I think people come here for all the reasons stated above, and then some. Some people are at a place in their lives where they're not really sure what direction to take. Others are more active in their growth and treatment than others, but all deserve our respect and attention.

Certainly friendships are made here (I'd be disappointed if they weren't!), and maybe some people do just come here after feeling better to chat with their friends. But given we all have a shared experience in finding this place -- coping with a mental health or relationship issue -- I think everyone has something to offer others.

I think everyone who's commented on this thread has really said everything I could think of, but chocolatelover really summed up my sense of our community:

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Coming to PC we are supported wherever we are at.

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Take care,
DocJohn

[50guy]

To the OP;

OK, boss whatever you say.........note to self, Get better dummy. There now that should do it.

[InACorner]

Love Hate Sad

maybe you should note...when you go into chat...support others...dont just talk about yourself...
then maybe we will get better for your liking

[Cthomas]

Guy, never formally met...but i love that.....

"get better dummy"....perfect!

LOL ROFL.....you rock!

Colleen

[I_WMD]

JUST To Say >>>>> I know l_h_s ,,,,,,, I call her P Mach. .

I will either be Looked upon as to my opinion or My Friends. I Consider P Mach A Friend.>>> OF MINE.

Alot has been said here as to Harshness............. I must agree with the delivery and choice of compassion that was afforded here at P Mach's thought At that Moment..

I know P well and have for around 5 - 6 months..... And we have pushed each other to face our shy and distrusting was ..

I'm sure if I formed and then posted here My knowledge and what she has said here in posts before >>>> I would not Be Ticking off My Friend.

But it is not my place to elaborate.

Just to say this ONE Thing,,,,,,,,:

When She had her 1 st child at 16 ,,,,and then another DEARLY LOved one a year or two later.......some 6 years past.

This peep has had me on the phone while trying to tuck her Daughters in ,,,, and I be saying " Oh Mom ,,, Just 1 more big glass of Kool - Aid ,,, and another chocolate bar " ?>>>> LOL.... And P is like nooooooooooooooooo .

And then in the morning while she is on her way to work she calls me and we have weather chat and her Good Morning to me .... But it is a time I learn My Friend best.... ( She never uses dope ,,, and might have a drink 3 - 4 times a year. ) And I trust this to be true through some of the convos we have had .

P Mach ,,,,,,, I understand the thought ,,, But the question could have included a ,,,> Or Am I Missing Something.

P e a c e Friend >>> LOve.

[Perna]

I was going to say, from reading other posts of love_hate_sad's that I think I understand the "warning" to not just come here thoughtlessly as she has to other sites and caused pain to herself and others as a result.