....I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGISE......

Over the last few weeks, I have been very aggressive, sometimes rude and often hostile towards other members..especially Sky and SeptemberMorn......

I have been to therapy today and spilled my guts....I haven't been for 3 weeks, and I have struggled with my own feelings and emotions greatly.

I have worn the old mask over Christmas and the New Year, keeping my family happy and not really practicing self care.

My mother, who was one of my abusers, let me down badly again...this is when I started to go down hill...I'm not making excuses for the way I've been on occasions, just explaining why...

My T said today I am in crisis mode again right now, feelings and emotions from when I was 15 are flooding me and I am becoming overwhelmed not only with what's going on from day to day, but also stuff from the past.

I sobbed like never before, just letting everything spill out...She has asked me to re visit my doc and try to change my meds...I have an assessment on 7 Feb an hour long to assess whether I have bipolar, clinical depression or whatever....

Please, I would like to say sorry from my heart, because I cant stand atmospheres and I just want to heal....I can only do this if all is well with the people I know and love on here....

Yes we have our differences, but I really dont want them to get in the way especially on this wonderful site.....

So I offer an olive branch Sky and Sept, I understand if you dont accept, but I would be grateful if we can just put the past aside and start afresh....Jinny xx

(((((((jinny)))))))

(((((((((((( jinny ))))))))))))

(((((((((((( jinny ))))))))))))

>>>>>. JIN ??? You Keep Spilling to T doc,,,,And The trigs will always be there ,,, Ya get assesment and maybe meds change can help alot .....

.You know I hope best for ya for coolio......Peace and >>>>We harder on ourselves than others ,,, so I would assume your Olive Branch will be eccepted..

Take Care My Treasure. .xxxooo.

Certainly! It's irrational to think we will all always get along, but a good effort to try is always worth it! I hope this year brings you good understanding and peace. I appreciate your public apology, and think it will help the entire site to heal as we go forward. I hope I can always give you the benefit of the doubt as you continue to heal. TC

jinny that takes alot of courage! I applaud you! it is always good to talk about how we are feeling and understand the why's of it all. you are doing good!

jinny, we all have these ups and downs. Take care of yourself.

SeptemberMorn and Sky are good peeps, have been around along time, and have been slammed many times, too.

I have no doubt they will not hold anything against you!

Take care of yourself, girl!

(((Jinny)))

Thankyou Sky, I really appreciate your reply....and thnks so much to everyone for your kind words and hugs....It meansa lotto me...

Jinny

Well, we all have our moments dont we. It is a New Year and now a New Start. Have a wonderful, healthy year

I accept your apology.

Jinny, you and I have been down this path before so you'll forgive me if I don't "forget" when I say you're forgiven.

Every day I struggle to live up to my beliefs, but things have happened in my past that have left me "gun shy" and wary; yes, even hyper vigilant. I hope you can accept that and give me some time to work on it and sort it all out.

I appreciate your reply Sept, it's not easy to forget especially when both parties have been hurt, but I am prepared to put the past aside, I too have had an abusive past, it's not easy to trust especially when there have been issues with another member, but I'm working on my troubles, I know you are working on yours and lets hope we can put it all aside for 2008, I appreciate it will take time on your part and I respect that.

Jin x

((((Jinnyann)))) ... forgive yourself hon, you've been under stress.... for a very long time.... many of us, including myself, dont always behave ideally under stress...

its always the best i can hope for is to learn from my mistakes... even if others do not recognize them as mistakes... self-criticism is a tool but a weapon also...

the best i can do is forgive myself for being imperfect and heal as quickly as i can...

im touched by this much self examination Jinny... you have accused yourself before of wearing your heart on your sleeve...

i would like to feebly express how i feel and sense your pain...

a fellow sleeve hearted human just trying too...

take care Jinnyann... drink from the healing wells....

Jinnyann you have set a beautiful example
by posting an apology...

here's me hoping to remember your good example.

If life were really a bed of roses we wouldn't be diagnosed with a mental illness. Many of us go through periods where the frustration of our illness causes us to lash out. At those times we are likely to hurt those around us. Then when we realize what has happened the guilt invades.

Thank you for being strong enough to acknowledge your illness got the better of you. I wasn't on the receiving end so can't speak for others. However, I don't hold your illness against you.