Do you ever put on a “normal” act

Throughout my life I’ve always been called weird or unusual. (Whether it be in school or just in general) I’ve recently found out I could possibly be on the autism spectrum which makes a lot of sense due to the number of signs throughout my life (light sensitivity as a child, sensitive to loud noises (I don’t like loud noises even today but when I was younger it was distressing) certain things bothered me like tags on shirts or water in my face (still does) I walked on my heels for a good few years of my childhood, stimming, avoiding eye contact, bad at social interaction, etc.) anyway with that being said, I’ve learned to sort of blend in with society. I find myself restraining myself from being weird, there will
Be slip ups but I feel like I’m acting, when I act normal in front of people, but it feels fake. I don’t know if anyone knows what I’m getting at, but I was just wondering if anyone did (whether you are autistic or not)

I've also been quite the weird girl at school before. I was quite smart when I was a student (not anymore.) People called me a nerd, but I never thought of it as a flaw. I was just more interested in studying than making friends. Being observant, though, I noticed that many people, especially in elementary school, were treating me differently compared to others. I started making enemies I wasn't even aware of. Even until now, I don't understand why my "friends" at the time started avoiding me.

High school came, and I went to a new school. I found some weird people like me and became friends with them. I've embraced the weirdness until university. No one cared, I made a few friends and focused on studying again. However, when I graduated and started my first job, some people started noticing that I was awkward and a little strange.

1. I had this tendency to mumble to myself in front of people and I often didn't finish my sentences.

2. Generally, I don't look at people's faces even in the office, so it took a while for me to memorize how everyone looked like. I could tell who's who from their height or smell. I'd be the worst witness to a crime.

3. My lip would often bleed because I'm a chronic lip biter - still a problem now.

4. When someone gets angry at me (like the boss), I'd just stare and often don't say anything. When someone shouts at me, it's like my brain shuts off for a few seconds.

I don't know if these are simply bad habits I have/had. Good thing my two nosy ex-coworkers told me about these things. Now, I'm aware of it and try not to do it. I'm still in the process of solving the lip biting and trying my best to look at people's faces.


I had a different job before, but I've only learned how to smile since becoming a teacher. Students respond better when I'm smiling. This must be common sense, but I wasn't aware of it. I'm still figuring things out, but I can blend in better now, I guess.

Just remember, acts never last & people can see through them.....so you may THINK you are putting on a "normal" act but those around know.

My marriage had serious problems. My now EX told me he had changed before I left & did the things the marriage needed to be fixed. He thought only in his own mind that he had made changes while in reality, nothing really had changed. In other words, be careful that what you THINK is a "normal" act is really anything different from the REAL YOU that you are.

I've been putting on my own normal act for so many decades, I don't even know who I really am anymore.

I think the behaviors you are doing you call ‘normal’ are just conforming to societal norms so to not stand out as different or peculiar to people. Do you feel it works for you in social situations? Do you feel comfortable doing it? Was it hard to teach yourself to do it when you felt like acting as you are naturally?

I have felt like I am also putting on a normal act at times, like when I have to wear business clothes and conduct myself in the manner of that way that is expected of me. Especially wearing certain clothes, for me, have made me feel like I am trying to portray a certain image and fit in. It’s like wearing a costume and playing a role. It feels strangely fake to me tbh.

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Originally Posted by TishaBuv I have felt like I am also putting on a normal act at times, like when I have to wear business clothes and conduct myself in the manner of that way that is expected of me. Especially wearing certain clothes, for me, have made me feel like I am trying to portray a certain image and fit in. It’s like wearing a costume and playing a role. It feels strangely fake to me tbh.

Interesting, because I didn't feel like it was an act to wear a business suit when I had meetings with our military customers any more than I felt it an act to wear racquetball cloths to play racquetball, or a formal dress to perform a chamber concert or ski cloths to go skiing or grunge to muck horse stalls & do maintenance on a lawn tractor or my truck. There are so many facets of me that it is ALL who I am & none is an act. It is me adapting to each different situation I am involved in within my life.

You are so well-rounded. I have work clothes, play clothes, dressy clothes, and a bathing suit.

A lot of people think I'm weird because I speak in a loud tone of voice and often speak without thinking. I have never been officially diagnosed, but I think I might be on the autism spectrum.

i have tried to put up a normal act for friends but i was never truly able to hide myself. The result is that i've never felt truly accepted. i agree with all the other wise and wonderful posters that people can see through the act or at least some of them can. i think Honesty may be the key. Sometimes a little effort from us may be required though. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @The Madcap, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

I’ve been called a variety of names throughout my life from weird, to emotionless, and I’ve been called the R word a number of times. I have ASD and it’s tough to hide it because I also think I may have selective mutism since I can’t talk aloud to anyone but a few family members and my therapist. But I can do great communicating online. I can email customer service when I have an issue with an order and I am good with communicating with people on MSF and on FB. But I can’t actually talk on the phone with like insurance companies because of how bad my anxiety gets when I actually have to speak.

So I can’t really hide it but I haven’t had anyone give me any trouble in about 3.5 years. People tend to like having me around or work with me since I don’t talk their ear off but I’m attentive and still a nice person.

Being that I've been called a goody goody. I'd say i try to act a certain way. I used to try to be perfect. Live up to an ideal. Than i cracked cause i couldn't control my surroundings. And well now i act normal despite my diagnosis.

Sometimes. I have either schizoaffective or bipolar disorder, and I've acted normal to avoid close ones to get concerned, to manipulate my treatment team (med decreases, be discharged from IP/avoid IP, to not feel "bothered" by them, etc), to fit in or at least not scare off neighbors and acquaintances, and to, well, feel normal. Not always the best intentions and rarely a good outcome.

no.

I have never been good at hiding how I feel. I just can't fake happyness if I'm not happy

all this stuff people say about wearing a mask or letting it slip sometimes.. I don't have a mask to start with

I am just, well, me, and if people don't like how I feel, that's their problem.

I do not think that I do when I am at home, but out in public, I can see it. I try to make sure it is all some professional discussion. Or maybe some sort of way of it that seems like I don't have it at all. It jumps into my mind sometimes that I need to 'pull it off'. I can see that I do not try this at home. But then sometimes I'm like 'act natural'. So it's sinking in this concept. I have duped no one though. It's obvious I haven't. It's clear to me that I am not fooling anyone, so I guess it's time to not try to do that anymore. I guess it means I do not want to seem worse than what act I put up.

Some people HAVE to put on an act simply in order to survive. Sad but true.

Sure, espacially at work. I cracked a few months ago though, so I don't try as much anymore, espacially not with my friends.

There have been and still are times when I have "acted normal." I called it wearing the mask or costume. Sometimes I lost track of the real me. It wasn't that I became normal but just lost in an "Alice in Wonderland" type life. You know it's not real, but can't find real anymore.

I've been called a ''goody goody'' (by a mean ex) I'm not sure what ''normal'' even is...

YES. I am on the autism spectrum and this is a common thing for us. It’s called masking....acting a way you think will help you fit in or not draw negative attention to yourself. If I were to be my natural, autistic self in public, I would scare people as I have a dead-pan expression and have no capacity for em/sympathy. (Unless I am super close to that person). I also have ADHD, so masking is a huge drain on me, but unfortunately necessary so people aren’t offended. There is A LOT of pretending to be interested in what others are saying, not interrupting them when they’re boring me to tears and maintaining eye contact. Because those things are considered common courtesy, I do it, but IT IS difficult and draining for someone with ADHD and on the spectrum. People have NO idea how mentally exhausting masking is, but at the same time, they demand we act a certain way and so we’re stuck trying to create a balance in our lives...being ourselves and maintaining relationships.

Hopefully, one day, we’ll be accepted exactly as we are without the draining demands that maintaining relationships with normal people insist on.

You should check out the autism forums too... there might be some helpful posts on this as well.

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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed I’ve been called a variety of names throughout my life from weird, to emotionless, and I’ve been called the R word a number of times. I have ASD and it’s tough to hide it because I also think I may have selective mutism since I can’t talk aloud to anyone but a few family members and my therapist. But I can do great communicating online. I can email customer service when I have an issue with an order and I am good with communicating with people on MSF and on FB. But I can’t actually talk on the phone with like insurance companies because of how bad my anxiety gets when I actually have to speak. So I can’t really hide it but I haven’t had anyone give me any trouble in about 3.5 years. People tend to like having me around or work with me since I don’t talk their ear off but I’m attentive and still a nice person.

Oh my gosh....my EX-H was exactly like that. Way before Aspergers, then ASD was ever known about.... 1970-1980. I always thought it was just that he needed more practice dealing with things on the phone but he would always mess up the call & then I not only had to make the call myself but fix the mess he made. He hates the phone & our daughter (who is grown now) said she hadn't heard from him in over a year.

Thank you for sharing this because it has helped me understand what I was experiencing

My daughter likely has alexithymia as well as asd. She doesn't know how she feels or does but doesn't know how to express those thoughts She stims like crazy only at home, it makes her feel good and even. She hates small talk and literally would live her life with no social interactions at all. But there are times you have to talk to get a need met. In public, she acts like or seems to be uppity or snobby. She is not she is socially anxious. In my opinion only there are loud and confident asd folk and then there are the opposite, the opposite is my daughter.