[black-roses]

So I had two prescription owing from like 2 weeks ago when I needed to buy medication, I ran out of meds again completely forgetting to get the prescriptions. Just very concerned about my memory because this is nearly a monthly thing. So yesterday I couldn't take my meds coz they ran out. It didn't take me that long for me to get anxious when my dad was putting the 2year granddaughter in the seat I thought he was being too rough with her. So without thinking I shielded her with my body and held her coz I thought he was gonna hit her. It was just that fight or flight reaction, I guess just witnessing that triggered the abuse me and Daniela went as children. I told Daniela what I saw and what I thought was gonna happen she told her bf. Well anyway he confronted my dad, dad got angry with me. So me and Daniela walked away I guess. When I went back I got told off for not being responsible with my medications and forgetting. Damien also told me off as he says "my baggage is starting to spill onto people" and I need to deal with my stuff because everyone has problems. So I guess I got a bit triggered and interrupted it wrong. It really triggered lots of dark memories and was very upsetting for me. In the car I just felt like crying. I honestly underestimate how much these antidepressants do help because I'm frustrated that it hasn't fixed my depression entirely but it does help with my anxiety and PTSD. Now I realise that after missing the dose yesterday and being triggered today. I got my meds refilled and now put in my calendar whenever I need to pick it up. Every month dad thought I was trying to exact revenge because of my past but I truly feared for Alana. It's just frustrating and very scary how bad my memory is, I need to keep mentioning it to my doctor's because this is a big issue and is affecting everyone around me.

[eskielover]

Do you have a therapist? Your reactions to triggers are just "symptoms" of what is REALLY going on in your thought process. Meds are good but all they do is "mask" symptoms of something much deeper that needs to be processed through therapy. Meds help get through the rough times but therapy can help us fix what the past has broken in our brains because it helps us PROCESS that past rather than just having to live with it.

[downandlonely]

I think trauma therapy might be helpful too. Also, do you live with your Dad? Being around your abuser would be extremely triggering.

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry for what you're going through also! Please Do not give up! Hugs. i agree with th eother wise and wonderful posters about seeing a therapist if you afford it obviously. It is good that you're trying to remember to take your meds also. So Sorry you've had to go through that but at least no one got seriously hurt at least that's what i've gathered. Please do update us if possible if you want to obviously. i Apologize if this post wasn't really helpful also. i Hope things will improve really soon for everyone. Love. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @black-roses, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[black-roses]

I had pstd therapy I did imagery rescripting last year it removed a lot of the flashbacks though a few months ago I realized I'm not fully recovered as I still have some of the PTSD symptoms, like poor concentration etc. I have a psychiatrist now and said I needed a psychologist it's up to him to send me to counselling. in the past 8 years I had very poor and negligent treatment meaning I was on medication I didnt need to be on. I didn't know it was the psychiatrist that sent you too counselling coz my previous psychiatrist never did. The only reason why I got counselling last year is because I made my case to my GP about how my PTSD was making me hear voices. I'd hear my mum scream or a woman screaming 24/7. I have been trying to get counselling again but now I have a new psychiatrist and he has to get too know me I have been to one appt, with the long and hard journey just getting help, I really don't have patience for another psychiatrist to take nearly a decade and leave me in the dust, just trying to figure me out. I hope he gets me counselling but I suppose now I'll have to see how things go.

[downandlonely]

Can your family doc refer you to a therapist? In the US, they often keep psychiatry and therapy separate, but I see you're in Australia. Not sure how the system works there.

[black-roses]

Yes he can, but I missed my appt for today with my GP it's okay because I have an appt for the psychiatrist on Wednesday I'll just bring it up with him.

[downandlonely]

Ok, hope that goes well

[black-roses]

They cancelled my psychiatrist appt at last minute called me at 9am. They rescheduled it for Monday next week.

[sarahsweets]

Are you in the us?

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[downandlonely]

I believe she is in Australia (according to the profile). Not sure how the mental health system works over there.