[pegasus]

What's with all the flipping leaving posts???

I have said before that members find it triggering when people threaten to leave.

What's the matter? Aren't we good enough for you??

[nothemama8]

perhaps they have found other ways for support
as for me I'm staying, like the old saying goes
" When the going gets tough , the tough get going "
I'm staying for the much needed support and to help others when I can
xoxoxoxo
Angie

[therealme]

im staying...... like the old saying.. "never burn your bridges" .
but i too am thinking , what the hell is up with everyone leaving

[nowheretorun]

ditto?

[katheryn]

yes whats up here if its something to do with pc it needs to be sorted lots have left or are not posting anymore

I am sorry that people are triggered truly I am....maybe I should just have gone quietly like I was going to ... but then people would think I was heartless just leaving when you all have been so good to me ... there is nothing wrong, I just need to leave to look after ME which is what my T wants me to do ....

sometimes I am triggered here too, I have left my e.mail for people to contact me, I dont want to just leave and forget everyone ..... please understand this ... whichever way I chose to leave it wouldn't have pleased everyone .....

I would love to hear from my friends and everyone who has helped me so much... please also know I dont want to leave with bad feeling ... because that would hurt so much ....

I just need to heal in my own way and maybe pc is just not that way right now .... this is MY PROBLEM noone elses, but I find replies were getting less and less and that is a trigger ... to ME ... this is not a reflection on anyone else ..... I know people struggle at this time of year....

If anyone needs to talk, you have my e.mail I am not abandoning anyone.... that sound conceited it's not meant that way.... grrrr

just know I care and always will and I'm sorry

Jinny

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Peg}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I don't know. I don't read them because I've found that most of the people that say they are leaving... don't.

People coming in and out of our lives isn't anything unusual. It happens all the time both in 3D and here.

It's a good think that if some people don't like what PC is all about, that they find a place that does suit them.

Don't worry, Sweety. PC will still be here for a very loooooooooong time! There's no place like it anywhere else on the web!

[Mouse_]

Yeah it feels a bit disturbing KEEP reading the leaving posts, there feels like an uncurrent of tension.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
therealme said:
im staying...... like the old saying.. "never burn your bridges" .
but i too am thinking , what the hell is up with everyone leaving

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

ditto as nowhereto run said

Well, I think that sometimes we need to move on from types of support too. Like if you were in a therapy group that you found just wasn't working for you(wasn't necessarily bad, just not working for you) you would choose to move on to other things. I don't think its mostly ever meant as a slag against other members or the site. And if there is a problem with another member or the site, I would hope that the member would feel strong enough to message admin and try to work it out. Sometimes we just have to do what we have to do though.

[wisewoman]

Maybe we should all keep being as loving and supportive as we know how. That is not in begging people to stay but in accepting that if they need to be gone for a bit, or forever, we support that. No judgement, just friendship.

I wish ow I had gone quietly,I am doing this for reasons of my own .... I never once said PC was not the right place for me and I resent the remark ..... I love pc and all the suport I have received from many ......

If I have caused any pain then I appologise ... pc is a great place and a lot of people have had fantastic support and will continue to do so .....

thankyou for understanding Rainbowz......

Jinny

((((((wisewoman)))))

I can see why you chose the name .... you ARE very wise and right too .... hugs, Jinny

[spiritual_emergency]

<blockquote>
It's worth considering that this forum is designed to be a therapeutic community. People leave therapeutic relationships for one of two reasons:

1: They need a different kind of therapy.

2: They no longer need therapy.

To me, both reasons are positive. If a person realizes that they need a different kind of therapy, that means they've moved into the kind of space where they can recognize whether or not their chosen therapy is helping them. And that's good.

Alternatively, if a person has moved into the space where they no longer need therapy, that's also good. It means they recognize they're now capable of standing on their own two feet, none of which is to say they'll ever forget the people they leaned on along the way. Quite often, those people are not the ones who were walking ahead of them but rather, the ones who were walking alongside or pushing from behind.

Compassion or the sense of shared humanity, of our kinship with each other, this is what heals.

-- Pema Chodron

I have some people in my own life who know how important they are to me. When there was no one else, those people were there for me. I remain grateful for the strength they allowed me to borrow on but I also know that they're pleased that I'm capable of moving on in my own life by my self now, because of them.

It's to be expected that there might be a bit of sadness over such moments. But also happiness for the other who is moving on either because they're ready to do so or because they recognize that they need something different. Each of us must be true to our own path.


Music of the Hour:

[Rhapsody]

Some people find it threatening to their survival when they are dealing with mental illness and they come here seeking support and yet find the very opposite.......

[(JD)]

There are those also who just can't fit into a site like this (not referring to anyone specifically.) We need to always remember that some ppl can't hear what others say, or at least not correctly, some are not ready for support like this. It is a different venue, to say the least.

I doubt that any member who is truly "finding the opposite" of support has gone unnoticed by the Community Team, unless they only visit the chat rooms and no one has said anything to admin. Still, there are avenues to take to stop any non-supportive behavior by other members. Unfortunately, it does happen. It's because everyone is at a different level of healing, and most are suffering with some type of disorder to begin with.

IMO, if someone feels unsupported, and other members know first hand of this, it's those member's responsibility to gird up the one member and also help admin and community team realize what's happening. Sometimes those other members, also because of their disorder and level of healing, can make the situation worse. It's always unfortunate imo when someone leaves because they feel unsupported, for that is truly unnecessary.

I don't think there is any way to let the membership at large, the daily renewing membership, to know that there will be times they might feel like leaving, and that often it's just a phase (so to speak) and that there's no reason to leave or tell everyone that, as you can always come back to PC and read, and send a PM to a new friend etc.... and that many ppl who do announce they are leaving, do end up back here for support and then have (imo unnecessary) embarrassment for returning.

[AAAAA]

The amount of exit posts surprised me too. I'm not speaking to anyone directly, I just wondering, why the post? Why close the account?

Jinny I understand what you're saying about not wanting people to think that you just blew them off, and I only mention you by name because you've replied to the thread. This is going to sound childish and petty, and I really don't mean it that way, I just can't think of another way to word it. But why wouldn't you post something like "Hey, going to be busy for a while, I don't want to lose touch, here's my email address?" Instead of a grand exit? Maybe I'm reading too much into it, projecting my own issues onto the situation.

If you don't mind answering, again I ask you because you've responded to the thread, why are you closing your account?

I really did not mean to offend, I just could not resist the opportunity to ask a question that has been bothering me since I started reading the forums. Thank you for responding, and if you do not, I respect your wishes not to.

[blah__x]

..personally i will say that for me....sometimes i plan on more than leaving..and just want to say goodbye..and thanks..stuff like that.

im sorry if my "closest-thing-to-a-suicide-note-PC-will-allow" is unwelcome. but i thought this site was to support one another..

im not downplaying people's trigger's here but i am saying that unfortunately things pop up and people do things which they feel they need to for themselves and are unaware that it is affecting others. i dont think that entirely calls for a new post solely against those who need that specific support?

maybe i should just shut up and go next time.
"simplify the funeral" as they say.

[nowheretorun]

((((((blah_x))))))

[(JD)]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
personally i will say that for me....sometimes i plan on more than leaving..and just want to say goodbye..and thanks..stuff like that.

im sorry if my "closest-thing-to-a-suicide-note-PC-will-allow" is unwelcome. but i thought this site was to support one another..

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

how can we give anyone support when they are closed to options?

Are you saying you post goodbye when you need support instead?

[blah__x]

no i am saying that i am posting goodbye when i need to for above stated reasons and that others may need to feel supported in making the decision to move on.

[nowheretorun]

responding to 'leaving' posts is hard for me... i wish everyone the best to the best of my ability at all times and if leaving is what they feel is best, then, i am no ones owner..

i just feel like burning bridges is an all too easy pattern to fall into, and harder to break out of...

i find it hard cos pc is suddenly losing all this talent and great support
i was devastated when petunia left and now three four nine however many more are leaving too .. there own reasons fine its their choice their life thats ok with me

i for one will stay like i always have and yes the amount that i post will always go up and down depending on my life but i feel i could never leave

xoxoxoxo
hugs for all that stay and for all that go!!!

((((peg)))) ((((muffy))))) (((((trm n kathy))))))
cos i know these things hit u guys hard...

People seem to leave and then return (nice to see them come back I must admit) what I dont understand and no one has said anything that helps is why bother to say you are leaveing ? I think it would be helpfull is people said they needed time out for their own reasons ..... Then they are leaving the door open for them if they want to return and not upsetting anyone or rather triggering anyone here.

Everyone has the right to leave or stay but this is a support group first and foremost and this should be at the front of EVERYONES minds BEFORE they post anything.

Hugs to all who are staying and hugs to all who are 'taking time out'.

I told people why I was leaving and wished I hadn't now .... the last thing I wanted to do was hurt .... I also didn't want to go without saying thankyou to all those that have supported me, imho that would have made me feel guilty and selfish ,,,, I can never do anything right it seems

Jinny