Death by eating disorder...

my friend of 20 some years died last week... cause of death... eating disorder...

this person is my family....

I am "screaming" in the Eating Disorder's forum.. and I don't feel "heard"... "respected".. "comforted"... "understood"...

I appreciate the people that posted on my thread.. I do.. I really do...

and why...do I feel the way I do....

Because no one understands that an Eating Disorder is not the same as a "cold"... that Eating Disorders take lives..

That I have an Eating Disorder...and.. I am trying so hard.. to get help.. from my family... from my doctors.. BUT... they do not.. "get" the recovery process...

That putting the effort into my friend... took every oz of my energy...

The healing within the physical body... that needs to take place... the extreme limitaions.. that end of the stage Eating Disorders does to the body... when your body say no more.. and simply shuts down...

I understand why my friend "gave up"....I am angry .... I tried and tried and tried to help her.. and she turned me down..

I scream.. and scream.. and scream for help.. and I cannot make people understand the complexities of having the end stages of an ED... with the asthma.. and the fibro.. and the IBS...and the inability to digest protein...and food..

Yes... I understand my friend... because.... I want to give up too..

just to "heck" with it...

[Pita]

Ah Freewill - I am so ... so ..... sorry you lost your friend - way too many losses in a short amount of time for you. And I remember that you agonized over trying to help your friend. Please don't give up - I know it is asking a lot, a lot, but there are many, many people who depend on you and who really need your insight, support, and love. I know we all wish that there was something that we could do to really help you as you help so many others.

Please know that you did all that you could to help your friend but we cannot usually ever control what another human finally chooses or is driven to do - or not do.

Give yourself some of the love and concern that you always give to others. Take very special and gente care of yourself.

[nowheretorun]

what i feel and hear from you (((((freewill))))) is a lot of inner agony.... it's because you are a sensitive and caring human.. you've put your heart, your will, your faith, your hope in your friends recovery and now this tragedy continues...

i can only comfort you from this distance with words that dont come in the right way or say the feelings i have in the true way i feel them...

you do have us freewill, as long as the electric stays on and dell and assoc keeps us connected....

i will forever remember the tree leaves swirl from last fall.... in beauty are all things and it needs to be looked for at times...

i wish i could come there and put my arms around your heart and absorb all your pain dear....

((((((freewill)))))
I am sorry you lost your friend.........
Please Freewill do not give up
I understand some of it
I watched my son,.......yes he needed to lose some but then it just grabbed him ,,,,,,took hold..........
Please care for yourself

((((freewill))) a valued friend.

[DePressMe]

My friend, I just read your thread in the eating disorders forum. Please see the reply and please check you PMs.

I so very much care about you...

Thank you my friends.... my pain has been eased by your loving care.....

[AlteredState01]

My condolences for your loss, freewill.