I can't do today! - May TRIGGER

My computer is totally screwed up, my husband had a completely irrational burst of anger yesterday and I haven't seen him or heard from him since, our youngest can't get him to answer his cell phone, my youngest's truck got repo'd by a totally unscrupulous dealer. He can't just let them have it without shelling out over $1k and then having to pay the difference between the price on his contract and whatever they re-sell the truck for. He won't listen to me and go see a lawyer for the initially free consult, his dad could lend him the money either for the truck that he can't afford or for the lawyer, but no one can reach him. Jerry always pulls this disappearing act when he feels pushed but this was way out of the norm for even him. He didn't have ANY reason for exploding like he did... except that maybe he's been drinking too much lately AND taking Celexa. I know you're not supposed to drink while on an anti-depressant, but I don't know what the consequences are. Yesterday morning, he had his very first migraine, aura and all.

I'm down to one pack of cigarettes and I can't get more on my own. No transportation. I have a couple of neighbors I could ask to drive me, but I HATE ASKING!!!

A**H*** (husband) says he's leaving for an extended trip to Canada but hasn't done any of the things I need him to do before he goes just so I can move around here at home and at least drive one of the two scooters I have to the nearby StopAndRob! Can't even listen to music without getting all teary eyed! I know I'm feeling sorry for myself but I can't or won't stop. Just checked my balance in my checking account and my oldest son hasn't made the $500 deposit he should have made on FRIDAY!!! And he's my conservateur???????? Hell! I can manage my money better than THAT!! And he's been bugging me to buy extended care insurance and take care of the arrangements for my eventual demise. How the hell am I supposed to do that if he doesn't turn lose of the money!! It ain't fun planning your own damned funeral and memorial service, especially when the cheapest way out is cremation and I can't stand the thought of it! My "dearest,"... NOT, half-brother saw one of our aunts cremated and gave me explicit details! Thanks one whole hell of a lot, Bill!!!

Now I have to call my eldest son and tell him to get on the stick but he intimidates me, probably because he's so much like me. I'd like to call him every name in the book but I don't dare. I'd like to smack his *** like I used to when he pulled his rebel act on me as a kid, but he's too old for that and I can't reach him... and did I mention... HE INDIMIDATES ME!!

Hell!! If I'm going anywhere to get me some cigs, I have to take a shower and wash my screwed up hair!! Do I leave it frizzy or do I take time to iron some of the straw out of it?? Too much work!! My arms and back kill just from blow drying it!! Idiot hair dresser!!! Wish I could remove my head and do my OWN hair!! Hell!! I could get $200 for a hair cut just like Danny Yamaguchi is getting for doing the ex coach of the Lakers!! Fen shui??? Yea right! And I KNOW Danny! You think he'd cut me a break?? HELL NO!!

Thanks for reading my rant... (pant, pant!) It's time to go either drown my problems in the shower or go hide under my blankie!!

!@#$%^&*()_ _) _()*&^%$#@!!!~ ~!@#$%^&*() _ _)(*&^%$#@!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>
<div class="foot">(Edited by SeptemberMorn on 08/23/04 05:38 PM.)</div>

I'm so sorry that you're having such an incredibly crappy day--I wish there were more that I could do, but all I can do is let you know that you've been heard, and pleasant thoughts are headed your way.
((((((((((sept.morn)))))))))))))
I hope that everything works out; and I hope that your husband is just hiding until he can calm down.
You're in my thoughts,
Jon

Mondays are lousy even when you are not on a "workin' nine-to-five" schedule. Even though I'm home everyday sometimes it just feels like I am "allowed" to take a break from the stress on the weekends.

Hope you both get everything you need done (i.e. get the cooperation from the people you need to do them!) and also find some time for a nice shower or soak in the tub (are you a "soak in the tub" person?) or whatever can give you a "Calgon, take me away!" moment.

What the heck was/is Calgon anyway... I remember the tagline but don't remember the rest of the commercial! For some reason I want to say laundry detergent but that wouldn't really "take you away" now would it? Bubble bath or something?

Now it is going to drive me nuts until I Google it...

Hope the stress passes and tomorrow will be better.

{{{{{{SeptemberMorn}}}}}}

------------------------------------
--http://www.idexter.com

Calgon is a bubble bath. eeewwww I'm not a soaky bath taker. The bubbles never last beyond me getting in and then I have to sit in my own dirt. YUKKO!! I'm a shower person. I have to sit while I shower and it's really relaxing to just let the water run from my head to my toes. That's exactly what I'm going to do now. A neighbor is on her way with "ciggy butts" and I called my eldest. He didn't answer the phone. You don't imagine I intimidate him, too? teehee I left him a message though, and I was nice but firm. (patting self on the back)

Hope the water pressure is up today, cause I have a ton of worries to wash down the drain, ...

When I come back, I'll be all clean and smelling good...




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

Thanks, Jon and Susan. I'm sure Jerry is just hiding, as usual. I stopped worrying about where he goes... oh... about 15 yrs ago. Found that I worried needlessly.

Gonna do some pleasant imaging while in the shower and have my antenna out for positive thoughts. Maybe I'll pretend I'm under a gentle waterfall... I'll listen to my birds, too... However, as the day progresses, I may need to rant again... ... so don't relax yet, ok? LOL ... or relax, whatever.

hmmmfffttt! "I'll be bahck..."





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

Hi SeptemberMorn,

Hope your friend has made it to you with the 'Ciggy butts' and hope soon you can get a pack. I know how for me the stress multiplies when in need of a cigarette.

I can relate to the finace situation as well, I am on a fixed income and the end of the month is always the worst. I do hope your hope your son makes the deposit that you need.

Hope things start looking up soon...Until then I will be sure to read your rants...I at times wish I could post some of my rants. Glad you let that out in your rant.

Take Care-Chris

______________
~KRIS~

(if I didn't help, please know I do honestly have good intentions & speak through personal experiences)

If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!

Hi there, im sorry youre having such a bad day today. I hope youre feeling better now after your shower and a smoke.

Take care, Jag

<a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008' target='_blank'>[/url] {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{TOMI}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}... XOXO!!

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>
<div class="foot">(Edited by Peanut61 on 08/23/04 08:26 PM.)</div>

Whew!! I'm all clean and smelling good! That was work, though! I didn't only wash away smells and chunks, but some thoughts I didn't want to have. It took a while!! YIKES!! But I didn't run the heater our of hot water! LOL Got really aggresive with my pedicure that I didn't plan and now my feet feel 10 lbs lighter... and nekkid! Got my ciggy butts from my neighbor... a whole carton! LOL No worries here! Last I looked, son had deposited almost the whole amount, so that and what I have in my purse, I'm set for about a week or so... then SS comes!

Made up my mind that I'm going to pay someone who knows how, to fix both scooters, by golly and by gum! I don't need "him"!

Ah, Chris... you don't always need to type out words of wisdom. Just knowing that someone else knows what I'm going through is good enough.

Know what? It's really good to know that someone knows about the stress and anxiety of not having those smokes and not getting even a "loving" lecture!




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

Well... ? I was feeling better... until I noticed the time. It's 7:30 pm here... and I don't have another rant to post. I had really hoped "his nibbs" would have shown up by now.

I'm not going to call him! Nope! Not gonna play his game anymore.




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

There she is! There's my {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Jillers}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Get on a plane and come see me! hehehehe Yeah, a plane... I know...

Oh, hell's bells! Another miserable evening and another sleepless night. I miss him... but why should I? What's the difference if he's gone or if he's in his bedroom either asleep or reading? He's still unavailable to me... Didn't I say about two yrs ago, Jillers, that I wasn't going to take him back unless he proved to me he had changed? So... I guess I'll have crow for dinner... (oh, so tasty...)




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Tomi}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Huge Hugs,
Fuzzy

Hi, I posted to you last night but I don't know where it went so sorry. I hope today is a better day for you and you are doing well. Thinking of ya.

Well... he's still not home. I can't reach my youngest son to see if he's heard from him. I'm surprised that I'm not freaking out and calling the jail and all the hospitals. Or am I going to have a delayed reaction? Maybe I'm just tired of his crap...




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

I'm sure he'll come back, Tomi. Try to take care of yourself - I know when I've gotten so upset, it affects me for days afterwards and leaves me exhausted. Just drains me.

xoxoxo {{{{{{Tomi}}}}}

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.
Dorothy Bernard

(((Sis Tomi)))
Sorry that I have not been around to respond sooner. I hope that stuff is better now and you are in my thoughts.

Jessica

"Take these chances. Place them in a box until a quieter time..." ~DMB

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Mary Alice}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I plan to take care of myself, Hun. My youngest called and he's been in communication with the old fart. He's down on his boat. As long as he's alive, I'm not going to care. Some things have started to piss me off that he needs to be doing around here, but I'm not helpless... not completely. LOL I would be better off if I paid someone to do it, anyway. At least, it would get done! Besides, I'm a survivor! My computer is what's worrying me the most right now. But I'll get it squared around.

(s-i-i-i-i-i-i-g-h!)




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

I appreciate the hugs, Hun. That's what I really need today.

Everything else is working itself out.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Jessica}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

Your computer just needs a little help is all. If you write down exactly what's happening I am sure we can help. Smart me trie that free spyware program that was mentioned the other day thinking I had it covered, and found 4. I solved most of my probs by switching to firefox as a browser. Hope your day has been good.

Sorry about your day. Hope tomorrow's better. Big hugs coming:
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Sept.Morn)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))0

((((((((((Tomi)))))))))))))

I'm sorry hun....I hope things are going better today for you.

Love you xoxoxo


Heather

I may wind up trying FireFox, too, but I want to clean up my computer first before I go adding anything else to it.




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

Oh, my goodness!! Are those some hugs or what??? LOL Oooh, zank you, zank you, zank you!! If that doesn't make me feel all better, nothing will!

Things are getting better...




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

Yup! He leaves for Canada tomorrow and plans to stay for about two months. Yeah, right! We'll see...





<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

Yup. ) Hope you really do feel better. Whenever you need hugs, just ask. Take care.