I need to talk to someone

I found this site, and I know I have MDD, and I have had a setback in losing faith due to a confrontation/discussion with two police officers (in the station), as to the ethics of why I had to receive a citation when I was pleading for help when I dialed 911. It was like holding onto a cliff with both hands, the calvary showing up, and asking for $20 out of my back pocket. I feel so mad, upset angry and a miserable failure for being such an idiot as to call the police and expect assistance, help, protection. All I got was fined $137.50. WHY? I didn't ask when my son was diagnosed with his extremely rare disabilities or when I had brain surgery; why now..... I cannot even chat with anyone......

2fargone,

I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles, but welcome to PC! I'm not familiar with MDD so I can't help you there. I'm sure that there is someone here that will be able to give you some advice on that front.

Otherwise, I'm here if you need to talk.

Thank you, Poobah, I was updating my profile. Major Depression Disorder was what I meant (if anyone didn't understand it, I apologize), see, more guilt, guilt, guilt. I think I am going to take my little pills and go to bed now.

Oh, no problem, Depression I know. No guilt necessary. You ignore my spelling and slow wits and I'll try to figure out the abbreviations better! Glad you found the site!

See, I am trying to get five posts so I can go "chat" I think it is not fair. "But life is not fair" I told my daughter. How right I am, sounding just like my mother. Is it fair that your brother is missing part of his brain? No, of course not? Is it fair that you were the brightest child around until he came along and stole all the attention, and you looked so lost it made my heart ache so much? Is it FAIR that when you cry for help, people make you PAY for it by making you feel dependent, useless, telling you to pick yourself up by your bootstraps and get on with it, never even realizing that grief can go on and on? God - go take those pills, idiot, no one wants to hear your stupid ramblings

ok, np here, make another post, we agrre there is nothing "fair" about life.

there are alot of us here that agree with you....life is not fair...at least not always...sorry to hear about your troubles...keep posting we all care!!! Welcome

2fargone,

I can really relate to your situation with your kids! My eldest has special needs, my daughter is bright and I have twins that are the babies. My daughter has gone through stages thinking that we’ve somehow loved the boys more because at times they’ve needed more attention. No matter how often we told her we love her and are proud of her, there’s still a piece of her that believes she’s been cheated.

She’s 18 now, she’s been the only one that we’ve purchased vehicles for, and since she’s been so responsible and independent in her life, she’s been given more privileges than her brothers. She’ll make a comment about me helping the boys with their homework and not helping her. First of all, she never asked for help, secondly, she’s been smarter and better educated than I since she was in Jr. High. I know it’s just the attention, and I am truly sorry that she feels that she hasn’t got enough.

She gets irritated with me because she thinks that I push her, expect more of her than I do her elder brother. From the moment she could speak she was truly an incredible human being. I cannot wait to see what she does with her life, and I’ve told her so. She once responded to that statement with “what if I just want to be a mother?” I told her that there is no “just” in being a mother and she’ll be amazing at that too.

I’m really glad that you found the sight 2fargone! The five posts before you can chat is a relatively new rule I think. I imagine it has something to do with the fact there were a couple of people that joined the site to solcit.

We definitely want to hear you! Your posts are neither ramblings or stupid!

First I would like to say welcome to PC. I am unfamiliar with MDD also! I am sorry. But there is so much information offereed in this site I am sure you will find what you need.
I do not totally understand what happen with your 911 call. But I am sorry, I have rarely seen our men in blue helpful in any at home situations. They are most successful at putting the victims on the defense! It is sad and sounds like the police did not handle this call well! Good luck to you