[youOme]

I've been working at this new job now for a little over a month. So far I've been there everyday and done my job like expected. Like I had mentioned in earlier posts, I am the youngest woman amongst much older women and suspected there would come a day where my youth would be an "thing".

Anyway, I've noticed that the ladies had been acting different to me recently. I was sort of warned by my manager in the beginning that these ladies go through spouts of drama and will attempt to drag me in if they get bored. So of course their pushing my buttons. I'm not sure what to do anymore. At first I felt a sense of security because my manager seemed to relate to me, being somewhat young....but I've realized now that she is not in cahoots with me at all, she's with them. I feel alone now, like I'm on my own defending my little spot on the job.

So far I've received some strange/rude comments from the ladies. I naturally respect my elders and have not replied, no matter how tempted.

I haven't called out a day yet, but I've been late a couple times. Unfortunately I was already written up twice for being late, unexcused. I got away with it a lot at my last job and assumed 5-10 minutes would slide here....my bad. Anyway, I wore jeans on Friday and left early. I told them I was ill but the truth was the comments the ladies had made to me earlier were brewing anger in me....and at that time it was safer for me to go before my responses got ugly.

NOW, I have absolutely no sitter for my baby girl tomorrow and will have to call out. I'm panicking on the inside...I have to call out. Do you think they will fire me?? Be honest...for real, I think they will.

[youOme]

I feel like no matter how hard I work I'm getting absolutely no where. Still the same old position with the same old ********, I just don't understand anymore, where have I gone wrong? Somewhere I convinced myself that I was doing the right things for my children and I...it ends up being wrong.

I'm so desperate for some wholesome support right now that I'd walk into a church, or even call my Dad..the minister. Everyone around me is very critical despite my efforts.

I've worked myself to the bone here...everyday, all day. For the first three days of the week I go to work at 9 am and leave for my last class at 10 pm....straight to work, to class, finally home. Half of my week is this way. Then in the middle is a 12 hour shift at work to catch up on hours....then 8 half's with a day off here and there, never together. I can't even eat or sleep anymore....My bodies so desperate for sleep that I get nervous to drive now. I've lost a lot of weight a little over a month because I'm unable to eat at home and can't afford to eat out.



My endless *****fest....I'm aware of this, I know...it's old.

[RozG]

Hi....i don't know the employment laws where you are but i personally never heard of any place where you can be fired for calling in just one day.

Sorry things are so rough for you right now...hope you start to feel better soon.

[pachyderm]

> I feel alone now, like I'm on my own defending my little spot on the job.

Not alone. We are here.

[Junerain]

I know what it's like to not be able to eat or sleep, to feel so nervous one cannot do the simplest things....in the middle of conversations when I was overworked, I would just put my head in my hands and cry........

Somehow I always pulled it off, even when I didn't even feel human, I guess...I was...if that even makes sense..

Are there any other jobs near you? I finally got a different one, at least during the week, with kids, and it's so much less stress...I remember reading about your whole situation, and I have a feeling there isn't any other options? You've probably thought of them all? You deserve a big pat on the back, Youome, you are staying strong and being wonderful. How has your husband been? Your kids?

[Rapunzel]

You're much better off calling in than just not showing. It sounds like you are generally burned out, and need a break. What if you tell them that? Maybe they would work with you on it so that you can get a schedule that is easier to live with. Communicating openly and clearly tends to work out a whole lot better than being scared or mad, wondering if they are, etc., and avoiding the elephant in the room.

*hugs*

i dont think you will get fired.

[Perna]

YouOme, your posts were very much about how alone and ganged up on you feel; I didn't see anything that indicated you might be fired but quite a bit that people were in cahoots and out to get you?

You've only worked there a month and you're late and leaving early? Don't you have a period of time where you're on probabtion and should be minding your p's and q's?

Since you told them you were leaving early because you didn't feel well, I think they'll believe you if you call out tomorrow but I think you're spending your get-out-of-jail-free cards a bit early. What else is happening stressful in your life? Comments from little old ladies wouldn't do it for me; takes me six months to get used to a new job.

[youOme]

It's because a lady that had once worked there returned to ask for her job back...was the reason for my paranoia. Before she had left she worked there for 6 years. Their all good friends. I just feel they want me to go so their friend could return. Rational persecutory feelings....so I believe. Since that woman walked in the door they'd changed.

One of the exact comments the oldest lady gave me was (a response) "You're lucky to even be here, the old manager wouldn't have hired you". This was her response to me asking would it be difficult to schedule around my summer semester schedule. I thought that was messed up....but I didn't say nothing.

I do believe I am fired too. Another rational persecutory assumption, especially since I called out and she said "okay"...that's it. I'm sure they'll terminate me on the clock...mack a fool of me, or me making a fool of myself. Whatever.

Question though: Wouldn't you feel defensive all the time if everybody was critical of you too? Consciously I have to convince myself I'm doing the right thing even after endless %#@&#! amounts of *****ing coming from those who are suppose to love and support me. So yes! I do get defensive....I do feel like people are against me at times. Clicks and kins here in WV ain't unheard of neither.

Again, instinctly I'm defending myself when all I wanted was for some understanding...some one to tell me what the %#@&#! to do.

[wisewoman]

I am sorry you are going through all of this. Did you apply at the child care center? I am thinking of you.

[youOme]

Yes, I have financial aid for day care. Unfortunately, to make it harder, all the local ones my sons preschool corresponds with are filled and they aren't open on weekends and evenings. We're looking for an individual, it'll take time though because I'd have to get to know them a little bit first. Working and class has made it hard to make the time, but I am working on it.

[Doh2007]

I stayed at a job where I was being treated badly. I thought I was being strong by staying. When I finally left, I realized how much the job had damaged me psychologically. I took me a year to recover. I hope that doesn't happen to you.

[splitimage]

You may not like to hear this, but if you really need the job you need to suck it up and be on time consistently. Some places are relaxed about this - this one doesn't seem to me. I'm sorry you're co-workers aren't being supportive. I've been in that positiion and it sucked. The best thing you can try to do, is do your job as best you can and ignore them. It's not easy but if you show them that they're getting to you, they'll just push harder.

Is there anything your husband can do to help, like packing you meals to take with you to eat on break or between classes, because not eating will simply wear you down faster.

Take care & I hope things work out.

--splitimage

[radio_flyer]

My thoughts are when a job causes so much stress, that maybe it is time to search for another one. Since the "older ladies" seem to be causing you anxiety and not being friendly, is maybe a sign you "may not fit in" and they are trying to push you to quit or perhaps they are taking their stress out on you and causing you to be miserable...... Either way, perhaps another job would be better for you...

or

You can talk to the manager.. Be frank... Let the manager know what is happening. And if things don't change, I would start putting applications in for other jobs...

Besides those cranky, pushy, negative "older ladies" don't sound like a whole lot of fun to be around..