[Kerry]

If your medication is keeping your symptoms under control, does anyone ever think about dying? I mean does anyone think about dying for other reasons such as regret?

[PaigeTurner]

Every day, Kerry. Every day.

[krzyk101]

Hi Kerry,
Welcome to the Forums.

Although I do not suffer from suicidal ideations, yes I think about death. I at time seem to have the opposite of alot, that being a fear of dying.

I try not to let myself 'think' about it too much as it to me is a fear to me.

As regret goes there are many things about my physical health that I do regret. I regret that I started Smoking Cigarettes 16 years ago, and the effects on my physical health.

I guess I am not sure when you say 'thinking' about death rather it be of what type of nature or situation.

Hope you can share some more on this so we can better understand the meaning of type of death.

Take Care-

[Kerry]

When I say thinking about death I mean thinking about suicide. I know we are not supposed to talk too much about suicide here. I was just hoping to talk to someone else who was dealing with the same thing I'm dealing with. My reason for wanting to die has nothing to do with my illness. But these posts that I have made at this site will probably be deleted. So there goes that idea of talking to someone else about it.

[Thelema]

In the past when I was depressed I had fleeting thoughts of suicide, but never firm thoughts or plans, etc.

[bptoo]

Kerry,

I think sometimes about my mortality. Things like have I done any of the things I wanted to do, accomplished the things I wanted. What about the people I'll leave behind, my loved ones. Will they be OK financially? I don't think about suicide much anymore, it's really not an option for me. I've given myself too much to live for, even thru the pain.

I don't know if this is the answers you were looking for, I tend to ramble early in the morning. I think you're new here, if so, welcome to the forums. If not, sorry I'm late in welcoming you.

Greg

[mlyn]

Kerry,
Do you have a T?
Yes, I've had thaughts of suicide because of regret. Today most times it's a fleeting thaught and not very often. It use to be continual thaught even with meds (AD) was taking at the time. Once I started dealing with the guilt and shame in counseling it got better. Thing is not only was I dealing with guilt that I needed to own but also with guilt and shame that was not mine to own which then I ended up dealing with anger then yuk. The word shame I don't even think qualifies as a word atleast not a meaningfull one. Regret is more of a positive word even though it doesn't feel good it is something that helps me to take a look at what I've done or doing so I can begin to change what ever it is. Shame just always keeps me a victim, never good enough, perfectionist and the list goes on. You know what I learned? EVERYONE IS HUMAN AND MAKES MISTAKES Yes really! The first time when I not only heard those words but began to see the reallity of them as truth I was blown away and it still amazes me. I can still fall into the shame thing and even that's braught on more shame "After all I "SHOULD" be past that" (no expectations here) LOL!!! I just have to laugh at myself some times.
First words I was taught to get rid of is the should and the shouldnts. Those are very shame based words. I was/am amazed how often I've used those words expecially before I practiced not saying or using them. It's better today, I use them less and catch my self more.
Sorry getting a bit windy here.
Just want you to know that you are not alone. Hang in there and keep posting. I'm just getting more comfortable posting. Glad your here.
mlyn

[Rapunzel]

Kerry,

I think that thinking about dying is pretty common while you are recovering from depression. It just takes a while for it to go away sometimes, even when your other symptoms are better. I don't so much anymore, but just about anything could give me an idea about how I could hurt myself (various degrees of that up to sometimes death). I didn't necessarily even need a reason. It was just stray thoughts, that came to me uninvited.

[radio_flyer]

<font color="blue"> </font> Yes, I think about death a lot. I regret letting others control my life. I didn't know I had rights so I never stood up for myself...... I always took what was dished out to me.......I didn't know about setting boundries for myself until I was in my early 40's, which is sorta funny in a sad way.......What I learned early in life, is that it hurt less when I hurt myself, then when others would hurt me.... Odd thinking, I know.....Anyway, I do think of death, prob on a daily basis....If I just would not wake up....But I don't think suicide is the answer..........I guess try to make the best of each day and hope tomorrow is better.......