A Lonely Situation

hmm.You know, my friends, some tiems i feel alone, but only in relative for certain situations.

Like now i came form the class to our apartment and my roomate told me that "we are going to eat here now LOT`S of people just so that you know
"I see"

I answered. With her came another girl from our class. (she is my class mate not only roommate)

So now theri guest went and theus they are 3 and there was an empty place near the table. And the roomate and the class mate and her boyfriend (a roomate too, he lives with us they are in the same room, of course) the 3 of them eat. She didn`t invite me to eat with them. To the gues, b4 he went she told "there was enough food for 4 and more) and I just went to my room and close the door.

I don`t complain and i am not offended
I don`t think SHE HAD to invite me to eat with them
You know IT IS NOT about eating but about BEING A PART OF the group. Our class mate is sittiling there and what i can`t?

I am trying not to feel offended adn angry because she is DOESN` Have to AND sometimes long ago she would invite me and i would refuse. But anyways it felt somewhat lonely and unwanted althought i don`t think she has somethign personal against me

She just always has thos lunches when she invites friends and her boyfriend and she cook huge meals and they sit 4 or 5 people and at this round small table...and ear and tlak talk talk and i hear their voices right not and their noises and all of that.

It feels like this just because it`s relative though

Like: When i am lone i DON`T FEEL alone. I feel fine

Interesting doing you think so ?

((LadyM))))

sometimes i have felt alone in a group like that.. it is not a nice feeling at all...

know that your place is out there some where, and also within you so that everywhere you go, you are whwere you should be at that time..

whether being alone or with others, believe in the value of who you are.. finding our place sometimes takes us a while.. give yourself time, ok?

you will be alright, you are alright really, just takes time to uncover the beauty of self in some cases.. dont give up.. you have seen your own goodness already.. it will grow ...

I experienced a similar situation when living with my brother. it sucked so i know how you feel.

Oh, I can relate...spent a lot of time at school feeling like that, and it sometimes happens in halls at uni as well if my flatmates ask people round. It got to the point in high school that I'd try and avoid being round people completely as far as possible - I'd spend breaks in the library (or toilets if the library was shut), go home for lunch, arrive just in time so I wouldn't have to wait before the bell... Like you say, if you're actually alone, it's fine. Feeling alone while surrounded by people is horrible, though.

Anyway, this was something I brought up in therapy - my therapist suggested that I might have social anxiety, and we did exposure therapy for it. One of the hardest ones for me was spending my free periods in the dining room instead of the library - I was in S6 (final year at high school in Scotland), and by that point I didn't really have anyone I could call a friend at school. I was sure that if I went in people would either ignore me or tell me I couldn't sit with them.

But I managed to work up the courage to go in anyway...at first I sat at a table by myself, but the next time, my therapist persuaded me to sit at a table with others. And they didn't turn me away! I was amazed...ok, they didn't really talk to me much, but for once I actually felt included.

So I think the trick, although it's hard to do, is to ask directly if it'd be ok if you sat down with them to eat. If you cook your own food then you don't need to worry about asking to eat theirs (I'd be worried about being rude ), but if you're at the same table then you're more likely to feel included. You don't even have to talk much, just listen and contribute when you can.

Hope I helped a little!

I'm sorry you're feeling so left out. Actually I ALWAYS feel that way around people, and it hurts so bad! I guess that's why I generally avoid people.

Try to hang in there.

Thank you all ! I really feel i have some friends here.

nowhereturn - thanks for your deep kinds words. I don`t know i was always looking forwards to having more friends in college. But anyways this is a very beatiful post and you are right about me seeing the good inside, i believe every human being has it.

Hyper and Rio
Thanks for understanding

Rio i am happy you acme and shared it with me. I don`t have social enxiety but really it can be maybe a good idea. At the begining they though that the table was going to be filled completely and there would be no room for me. Then i think that yeah i could sit there without asking because heck this is MY apratment as well as HER. I pay for it just as much as she does (well my parents actually) and i have all the right to do so.

Today i did something i do at home. I refused to let that news on TV noise bother me and closed her room when she went to the toilet. Then she sadi "No _____(my name), i want to hear it from the kitchen.:" I was eating and i decided to take my food to my room (ha! again) and ate here. Now i feel good because i finally am not afraid of what she will say and do WHAT IS COMFORTABLE FOR ME what can i do that i CANNOT TAKE this annoying sound of a TV or a radio working. She turmed the volume up and i just came here and here i am.

You may think i am a strange person ...lol. But i prefere reading the new in a newspaper or online....not listening ..i just hate it.

Thank you all for replying..it means a lot.

You may want to try to heal that too,TainedGoth. Like Rio did.

too much noise can really be a problem (((LadyM)))))

I agree about too much noise (TOO MUCH of anything!) Here they have TVs with earphone/ear plug sockets so one person can listen as loudly as they wish...but only they are listening!

(((((((((((((((((((((((((nowhereturn)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

sky - yes my parents have. when they listen to the radio with it as i come to eat breakfast. But ussually they want my company so they just turn it off.

But of course, i cannot expect such behavior from a roommate