[Kayleigh]

I feel fine during the day... but at night I'm really sad. Is there any reason for it? Or does that mean I don't belong in with anyone? Sorry to waste your time, I know there are people with real problems here, an' I shouldn't be bothering anyone with my petty problems. Sorry again.

[SweetCrusader]

i feel the same way. i also get lonely and scared at night.

i don't know why, though. i wish i did.

i hope you can figure out why it's this way for you!

*hugs*

[cms39]

I don't think it's petty. I'm sorry you're feeling down at night. It's hard, especially if you're alone - but you aren't. You can always talk to us.

[ktp]

I am the exact same way.....

I think possibly (for me and maybe for you two) that it's the day is so full of things to do and we don't think much. At night most of us wind down and that's when the thinking and reflecting begins. That's when I start to feel alone and sad. It doesn't help that my hubby works until 12:30 am. I think that's part of it. So much time between the kids settling down and him being home. Too much time to think.

I hope you both find out your why's....

Take Care,
Kimberly.

[Wants2Fly]

There is a well-known quotation by Judy Garland. She was asked about whether it was hard to get thru the performances. She replied, "It isn't getting through the performances -- it's getting thru the nights that is hard."

Kayleigh,

This is not petty at all and I know exactly how you feel. Right now, I'm out of town and all alone, so it's particularly hard. But even when I am at home with my husband, the feelings of fear and overwhelming loneliness are pretty severe. I wish I had some kind of solution for you, but I don't. All I have to offer is the knowledge that you are not alone in this - whatever that's worth!

[Kayleigh]

i wish i wasn't broken.... i'm so lonely tonight... i wanna go to sleep an' not wake up, okay? sorry i'm being such a whiner.

[ktp]

(((((((Kayleigh)))))))

I'm sorry you're broken. I'm broken too. I know how you feel. I don't think you're a whiner dear.

Take Care of yourself,
Kimberly.

Being older than dirt, I can assure you that you'll "grow" out of it....the time will come when the nights won't bother you. I used to feel the way you feel but have noticed that over the past 15 years or so, that's gone away. I guess I finally got most of my "stuff" figured out and quit spendign so much time thinking........my man calls it "brainlockitis"....it's when we start thinking and can't divert ourselves with something else.......hope this helps a little bit....xoxoxoxo pat

[Nanna]

Precious sister, if all the folks that feel like us could press a button to identify with you, and the answer was written in the sky, you'd know how alone the whole world feels, and it is not petty, it's the worlds' lamentation! We cannot see each other, but the love in our hearts for you can I believe, reach you...YOU'RE NOT ALONE... our love is with you. xxx

[Lexicon78]

If this is bothering you, it is definitely not petty or unimportant. I feel so lonely, scared, and alienated at night, too. I go from being ok to wanting to cut, being very depressed, and just wanting someone there to watch me, to keep me company, etc. If there's no one home to talk to me on the phone all night I panic. I don't do well at night at all.

Were you abused? There's this thing about the nighttime with abuse victims that drives them crazy at night...that's what I've heard anyways.

[shakes]

Kayleigh,
Your problems are not petty!! As you can see a lot of us have these feelings at night and they can be hard to work through. I try to stay as busy as possible during the night. Whether it be reading a book, doing laundry, renting a movie, or baking cookies. If I just stop doing what I would normally do during the day then I definately get very depressed.
Have you ever tried going for a drive? I used to recommend walks, but I do not think they are safe anymore . Maybe buy yourself a new book to help out through these nights? I hope that you find something that works for you.

Jessica

[Kayleigh]

I hate it today is a little better, I've managed to keep myself busy until a quarter til 1 in the morning, but it doesn't matter how busy I am, b/c I'm still sad as soon as I'm alone at night. If anyone else has the same crap going on at night, you can post here, too. That way I don't have to feel so bad about whining so much. No one has to reply or anything, I know I get annoying, sorry about that. I hope you all are having a better night than I am.

[SweetCrusader]

Kayleigh,

You are not annoying at all.

And as you can clearly see, there are MANY here who can sympathize with your pain.

*hugs* if you want them.

Wishing you safety and comfort and sound sleep...

Angela

[Wants2Fly]

Hi Kayleigh -- I'm sorry that you're scared. I used to be more scared when I was first out on my own, but it did pass. I hope it will pass for you too. Give it time. I still have trouble getting to sleep though.

[SweetCrusader]

I fall asleep to the t.v. most nights. Otherwise I imagine I hear things and I get freaked out (no I don't regularly hallucinate. lol! I think it's just me being scared of the dark like a kid! lol!)

Anyway, if you have a t.v. with a sleep timer, I highly reccomend that. It helps a lot

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{Kayleigh}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I think all of us are broken in one way or the other. I get lonely at night, too, even when my husband is home. When the cold weather started, it got even worse. It passed, though.

When I was a teen ager and into my first marriage, I'd get petrified when it got dark. Fifteen years ago, I found out why. I had been violated as a child so when I had nothing much to do or was trying to go to sleep, my fear raised it's ugly head. Even when my first husband and I were living with his parents, I lay awake thinking that someone would break in. The fact that there were three strong men in the house didn't help any. I'm not afraid anymore, but I still get very lonely.

This is what I thought of when I read your post.

A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole, which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream.

"I am ashamed of myself, and because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them.

Blessings to all my crackpot friends.

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Angela}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Your feelings are understood and shared.

[SweetCrusader]

Tomi,

That is too cool! Where did you get that story? I would like to put it on the mythology page of my website!!!

Angela

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Kimberly}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} My first husband worked till midnight every Friday. It was okay for the first few hours because my next door neighbor and I would "party." But when it was time to go home and put the kids in their own beds, it was tough, very tough!

[SeptemberMorn]

Ditto, Pat! It does go away for the most part. For me, too, it got better once I started dealing with my "stuff."