Not sure where to post---MY DOCTOR CALLED ME

Yesterday I was in the shower when the phone rang. I could not answer and my kids are not supposed to answer the phone without me knowing who it is. And they did not answer; lolol--suprised me cause they usually answer and tell me they forgot that they not supposed to.

Anyway, I looked at my called display and recognized the number. The name was listed as unknown. It bugged me all day they. I took the kids out shopping for a while and when we got home I looked in the back of our phone book. I write down numbers in the back. It was my family doctor calling from his cell phone. So now I am going nuts wondering why he called. He must have just got back from holidays. I was kind of shocked that he called me not even being back to work yet.

So I was going to call him back today but decided not too. Its Sunday and his family goes to church on Sundays. And I don't want to bother him as he must be busy just getting back from a month holidays. He will call back if needed.

So now my mind is going insane. I am afraid that he recieved some calls. I had made a couple of stupid remarks to my old t and my chiroprator---I think he has talked to them. Now I am in panick mode. I was going to avoid going to see him for as long as I could. I know the IV treatment is going to come up again. What concerns me more is that he was already considering admitting me into h. AAAHHHH, not sure what to do here. As glad as I am for the fact that my doctor is back--I am fretting as well. What do I do?? I already know what you would say; lolol. GO SEE YOUR DOCTOR; LOLOLOL. Wish it were that easy. My bravery is hiding.......

Thanks for listening to my nonsense blabbering. I am just freaking out here. I sooooo wish I could take you all with me; lolol. You have all been my supports for months now--your my friends and many feel like my family. You are part of me and I wish I could have u here. Come kick my butt or hold my hand like a little girl and come with me to see him. I know--what a baby. I can't help these fears though.

Justy--with a big ole sighhhhhh.

Awww ((((((((Justy)))))))). Im sorry you're feeling so nervous about this, but i think it is natural to feel that way. maybe your doctor is just ringing you to ask you if everything is ok, or to tell you that he is back from his holiday. If it was really important, he would keep ringing until you answered, right?

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Justy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I've been thinking of you.

((((JUSTY)))))

Why not call him now? Does he know you have caller ID and knows you will see and know who called???? If so, then you owe him a call; if not, you don't but it might be advantageous to call back... might prevent you from having to see him.. see, cuz you're not avoiding him and you'd be upfront with him and all? It's his cell, so no one at his home will answer it and he won't if he's busy.

How does that sound? Plus, you won't be anxiety=ridden all night!

Justy~

It sounds as though you have a really caring doctor! I mean, honestly, I've never known a doctor who would call from his cell phone on his day off...Maybe he's just one of those few amazing docs who just wanted to check in and see how you're doing, like Silver said. I also agree with her that if it was urgant, he would have left a message or kept calling. And Sky is right. We all ignore our phones if we're busy, so wouldn't he too? He called you on his day off, I don't think he'd mind if you call him on Sunday. It's passed church time now anyway, isn't it? I think you should all him and ease your mind!!!!

Let us know how it goes, just hold your mouse and pretend it's our hands and give him a ring!

~Rayna

Hi Justy -- I know it's hard not to worry about a call like that. Maybe you are on a phone directory and he hit your number in error. Or maybe he's really really caring as others said. Hope it all turns out okay.

Yes, he is an amazing doctor. He gave me his cell number a long time ago, this is why I had it written down in the back of my phone book.

I did not call. But I am going to call his office in the morning. I have to get some meds anyway. So I am going to ask the front desk if he could have a prescription ready and I will come pick it up. That way I called and he will know I am okay. I will go pick it up tomorrow and see what is said at that time. I have called the office before for a prescription renewal and they have phoned back asking me to come in to see him. So I will see what happens.

I will let u know what happens. Thanks for all the replies all, I do appreciate the feed-back.

Justy

Well I called my doctors office. I have to go in.

I have been sleeping most of the day. I woke up not feeling so well. I got the kids ready and went back to bed. I am going to go get ready to see my doctor. I am going in this evening (or late afternoon). My tummy has butterflies playing around in there. But its so easy to work oneself up and most of the time its for nothing. I am sure it will be fine.

I will let u know what the out come is. Thanks again all,

Justy

((((Justy)))))

((((((((((Justy))))))))))

((((((((((((Justy))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((((((((Justy)))))))))))))))))

Hello again. I am back and I was right. I have to go for blood work in the morning.

He was very relaxed though. He is glad that I am finally attending regular appointments with mental health. So I think this makes him a little more at ease. He did want to send me to see someone, a psychiratrist. I said I would think about it.

So we will see what comes of my blood work. I did not talk about everything that has happened. I can't keep him for an hour or anything; lol. I got my meds so thats good.

Justy

Ok good to hear... build their trust in you... it pays off (((Justy))))

Yes honesty is good but can sure get u into a pile of poo. LOL.

Not looking forward to tomorrow. Well maybe not till the next day when the results come back. Who knows, maybe it won't be all that bad. (fingers crossed).

Justy

((((((((((((Justy))))))))))))

I did not make it for blood work today. I had one of the worst nights ever. I slept today for a while and still sitting in my pj's.

I will for blood work tomorrow as I also have an appointment with my t. Funny thing is, they are like three doors down from each other. So I will go for the blood work and walk all of one minute to my appointment. So that works out okay. I should call my doctors office though. He insisted that I go today...maybe if I called and explained that I will go tomorrow. But then again, its only a day.

Thanks all. I need you all desperately right now. I appreciate you love and support.....most of all, your friendship.

Justy

(((Justy)))

How did everything go??

Rayna

Thanks for asking Rayna.

I did go and get the blood work done. And my doctor had phoned for me to go in and see him. My potassium was really low, hemoglobin too high. But is all easily corrected with proper fluids and nutrition.

I have to go in tomorrow and see him again. I am going right after I drop the kids off at school. As far as I understand, he wants to repeat the blood work. He is also wanting to talk to my therapist. I am afraid of that but probably is a good idea.

So we will see what comes of tomorrow. Thanks again.

Justy

I hope everything goes ok for you Justy... lol

Justy,

I'm glad you're getting all of this taken care of, and you're right, it is easily corrected with fluids and a good diet. It's good that he wants to repeat the test to make sure nothing was missed. Sounds like you have a real heads-up doctor. None of us really like our doctors talking to each other, but remember that they can't share information without your consent. It really is the best thing for your treatment if you let them discuss things though.

I'm wishing you the best Justy.

Greg

Made me smile silver, thanks.

I just got back from my doctors about a half of a hour ago. He told me that I have taught him much about what is beneath the disorder. He said he feels so helpless but will never give up. The sadness in his eyes when I spoke was heart breaking. I answered him honestly and the truth does hurt.

He said he would like to have another meeting. Only him, my t and me. He wants to do partial hospitalization and continuing attending sessions with my t. He realizes that I have been trying but its not enough. The treatment needs to more intensified.

We discussed the weight I have recently lost. And with the blood work the way it is this is no surprise. But we did not focus on just this today. He sat back, very close to me, and spoke so softly. His gentle nature totally made me feel so safe, his voice reassured me that we are going to win this war. He just wanted to talk today. I told him that I do resist as he is not a therapist. He said this is okay as he is understanding more and more and wants desperately to know whats going on inside. He closed my file, and welcomed discussion about what is troubling me so deeply. I know he feels my pain as every expression made tears hard to hide.

He had requested that I write down how I feel. I did this for him and he accepted it with open arms. He asked if he could read it when he is done at the clinic, then call me tonight. I said of course as I don't expect him to drop everything as he has a huge patient load. I told him that I know life does not revolve around me, and don't expect him to be my personal doctor to only focus efforts on me. He argued a little with this as he said that he has never wanted to quit on me. He will always be there and not to doubt myself that I am not worth his time. He said at this point he would do absolutely anything to help us through this. I thanked him and appologized. He said its okay, stop saying sorry for feeling let down right now. We need to intensify my treatment and he knows I have it in me to help them, help me.

So all this said and really not sure what to think. I mean I feel really confused inside. I am not sure what steps to take from here, as I feel so lost. But I do have this will inside which in the end will get me through this. I think this is just another hurdle to jump over, I will feel better in time. I did expect this to a degree. More and more of my thoughts, emotions, memories, feelings are hitting me hard. I think that with starting therapy, this is beginning to be released and it is over whelming. I will not give up cause if I do then I have given up on my kids and the ones that I love. No fricking way can we get rid of Justy that easily.

And I will come here and vent. I may sound really crappy at times. I will sound like all is lost: but this is part of the process. And its okay to allow myself these feelings as long as I don't lose sight of the goals at the end of this. I have to start to be more patient with myself as I have been working against myself. So time........is on my side.

Justy

Hi Justy...'
This post made me near to crying - not that that is hard to do recently or ever lol... i am so pleased and proud that you are fighting back. I am sure you will get through this, it is natural to be lost and confused here. Your dr sounds totally great, and he wont let you go too easily either lol. It's wonderful that all the medical people you know are giving you so much support and encouragement and love. I have read many of your posts on what you have been going through recently but I dont know what to say lol; but I have been thinking of you.

- Silver.

awww, Justy, you have such a great medical team. Keep plugging away my dear.