[kimmydawn]

To those who have been dx'ed with a specific illness:

Have you discussed with the people in your life (spouses, close friends, family members, coworkers, etc.) your dx, and the details thereof? If so, can you share the reactions of those that you care about?

I've told no one in my life my official dx, and it's a constant thought that I should...not only to increase their understanding and awareness, but to clue them in on why I'm "so different".

Kim

[Shaymus]

I was all nervous to tell my two step daughters but it was a real non event. They looked at me like i told them my hair was brown. I was pretty nervous too but looking back i dont like to leave the house and beg to get out of doing so constantly and get anxious very easily so i guess it was kind of obvious im socially phobic and depressed. Oh yes and my sister said "Thats what i figured you had" so i didnt get to surprise anyone heh

[kimmydawn]

Yes, shaymus. The little bit that I told husband one time, he looked at me and said, "Tell me something I don't know". I'd gone into great detail and was being very cautious. I was so nervous of reaction, etc...and he said that! I was shocked, relieved, then angry...angry at self because I'd thought I had everyone fooled and I should've been more careful.

Thank you for sharing.

kd

[silver_queen]

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I've told no one in my life my official dx, and it's a constant thought that I should...not only to increase their understanding and awareness, but to clue them in on why I'm "so different".

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Personally Kimmy I dont think you should tell them your dx until you have worked through your DID as much as possible. I think if you tell them it will only leave you open to hurt whilst you are at an important part of your therapy.

As for me, my dad, aunt and cousin know that i was diagnosed with depression, but they think that i have got over it, and we dont talk about it. my dad thinks that there is no reason why i should have depression again after my last episode, and he would i think be disappointed if i told him that i am still depressed.

doesn't directly relate to your question but when therapist was discussing one of my dxs with me earlier this year I wasn't so much angry that I hadn't hid things well or hadn't fooled anyone as much as I thought but rather more upset that no one had said anything to me!!

I felt like if they had known this (and more ppl knew than I thought!!) why didn't they help clue me in a little sooner, ya know?

I know they couldn't due to reasons with dx and so on but still! Chapped my hide!

I'll think about some of the disclosures I've made over the years and reactions to them from different ppl. I know some ppl I've told were so non phased that I felt stupid for making big deal of talking with them about it. Other ppl seemed genuinely interested in knowing and trying to understand so that they could better know how to react to my seemingly odd behaviours.

Just got out of big stressful meeting and am a bit fried. Thanks for all the support around that sweetie! ((((kd)))

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((((( silver )))))))))))))))))))))

I so agree with what you've said. it's the reason that i've been quiet for 2 1/2 yrs. however, i wonder sometimes if i'm being selfish to the children in here who might need some special understanding from hubby and daughters.

i'm sorry that you think your father would be disappointed, silver. have you explained to him that depression can just happen physically and unexplained? just like someone who doesn't have a family history of diabetes can get it... Believe me, i know that some ppl still refuse to understand even when it's explained that way. I sure hope you find the understanding and acceptance that you need. and you may just want to keep it private and all to yourself right now. i know when i dealt with alot of depression, i didn't want to tell them that i was depressed again, because in that depression, i would think that i was making things worse and making myself a horrible burden and cause for concern.

thanks for responding!

kd

[SweetCrusader]

I have only shared my dx's with people on this site.

[kimmydawn]

thank you for replying, angela. it's about the same with me. i think ihave a fear of rejection and is why i find it easier to say it here and not in life?

((((((((( angela )))))))))

kd

[wisewoman]

I have not shared the PTSD and anxiety stuff with anyone except a few close friends. Including hubby and kids. The depression was so severe last spring that I told my hubby and his family and my work and my colleagues and anyone else who needed to know. I am with Silver in that I wouldn't share the DID stuff at this point in your life. That is that you could speak of it without naming it. "Part of me feels like this when..." That is a statement we can all understand because we all have different parts of our selves. That way you could share how you are feeling at times and still be safe.

[SweetCrusader]

yw, kd. it's fear of rejection for me, too.

*hugs*

[obsids]

I told my husband back in July when I was triggering constantly and having a lot of flashbacks. He did not respond well to that. I told him that maybe he should do a little more research on PTSD. He understands that I am depressed, but he is still trying to understand just how bad last year was for me and how unaware he was of my two nervous breakdowns and suicide attempts.

My two closest friends in 3D know. And my online friends on LJ know. And well, everyone here knows now.

But after the response I got from my husband... who was supposed to be my support and someone safe.... I mostly don't like to talk about it with anyone in 3D.

[(JD)]

No. I haven't. One old time friend knows more than anyone though... and she stayed at a distrance for a few years... but is back now.

My mother and one brother have an inkling of the PTSD but neither comes close to understanding. One of my sisters, a nurse no less, when I tried to tell her I can't take care of mother... that I was in the ER last Monday due to a full flashback... she didn't even know what I meant.

The major depression, PTSD , nope they don't have a clue. They do better with some of the physical, when I explain the symptoms are the same as MS, plus other stuff. Well, they say ok, but they still expect me to function like an able-bodied person!

Years ago, I did relate to someone that I could have a flashback due to the PTSD. I told them because it was a safety issue at the time, regarding AF cadets... and it was a mistake! That guy used my dx against me, to others... never again will I share. As we say in the USAF, they don't have a "need to know."

[colors]

It seems from reading all these posts, that each person is handeling it in their own way, as they feel is best.

I would not share a dx with a co-worker. To me that would be too personal. My thoughts are that sharing with a co-worker, would take it from personal, to public. However, I would say that I was feeling down on a particular day, and not wanting to talk about it in detail.

Telling people your "not feeling as chipper as usual", somehow helps them understand you, and not misunderstand you.

I wish you the best at this, as it is a hard decision, and one that each of us think about from time to time. Try to remember too, that it may be hard on some family memebers to know you do not feel well.

Good Luck and Best Wishes,

Colors

[Kathyanita]

My girls are 19 and 20 so I did tell them because I wanted them to understand 1: they may have in the past functioned in my mind as triggers unwittingly although thier behaviors were never anythging but usual and 2: that they should model thier own identities as women and as my children and as citizens in the world on what they have internalized from me and all other adults in thier lives as they grew up, only on what they feel is true and workable and authentic to thier own developing personalities. Leave the rest behind and feel free to reject and rework any beliefes and behaviors and attitudes of mine that don't fit. In other words little girls try on thier Moms clothes but when they try on thier Moms identities they should toss anything that doesn't fit and feels uncomfortable. I wanted them to know my personality is not yet integrated and I am also developing and maturing so they need not use me as a benchmark of what a woman's life will have to be like as they enter the "real" world.
Was I overly verbal in my answer? JMHO
Kathy

[MrH0kie]

I've ended up telling my immediate family, which includes my wife, her parents and brother, my parents, and some of my oldest friends, all of whom reacted as you would hope that people who care for you would.

On a business aspect, I attended school for a bit, but before I started, I was up front with my department and professors about my dx. If nothing else, they were a good extra help just because they knew what I am dealing with and could keep an eye open if I need help or such.

I hope this helps!