[TryingBelieve]

Hi. I am fairly new to the board. I have been reading posts and have replied to one or two, but this is my first post about me.

Does anyone else feel like this? I am an 11 year old trapped in a 51 year old body. What I mean is I still crave the need to be taken care of. I have tried to take care of myself, and did a fairly OK job for 15 years or so, but for the last 4 years I have failed miserably. All I want is to be a child again, to be loved and cared for. I never really "grew up." When I was in my twenties and feeling like this, I used to worry about what would happen to me when I was 50. Well, I don't worry about that anymore, I just try to avoid thinking about the future. But the future has a way of coming to you. I try to hide from it. And I can't.

TryingBelieve

[SweetCrusader]

Hi there! Nice to meet you. Welcome to psychcentral

I, for one, am JUST LIKE this. I always wish I was still little and that my therapist could just take care of me forever, like I was her little girl.

If I'm not being too nosy, were you abused and/or neglected as a child??
(I was- both).

~Angela

[TryingBelieve]

Thanks for the response. No, I wasn't abused or neglected. At least any neglect was the normal type -- too many kids, not enough parents! I was loved very much by my mother, and have come to realize that my father loves me as well. I just want so bad to be small and with my family again.

I feel bad you were neglected and abused. Children should be cherished. (Adults should be, too!)

[vacantangel]

Welcome to pc. I can totally relate to your feelings. I have a great need to be taken care of too but not from a parent.

[Wants2Fly]

Hello Trying --

Welcome to the forums. As you can see, many people share this feeling. I am in my 50s, and one of my friends that everyone wants to be "saved" -- meaning, want someone to rush in and take over all the hard parts and let us know that we are loved, cherished, will always be safe.

I'm looking forward to getting to know you better.

[TryingBelieve]

Thanks for replying you guys. It is really like I can't take care of myself. I mean I really can't. Here I am, 51 and dreading calling my father and asking for money to pay February's rent! 51 and still needing my father. I know I am lucky to have my dad still around and (hopefully) willing to help. And I have great friends who offer spiritual and emotional support and loving siblings who have given spiritual, emotional and financial support. But.....

I always try to look on the good side of life. Who wants to look at cr*p?! Basicly I am a happy person who s*cks at life. I once told my therapist that I was depressed not unhappy. Make sense? I tell myself all the time GROW UP. When I just wanna go home.

[mandy75]

Hi there. Don't we all feel like this? I have a man who takes care of me when I need it and I take care of him when he needs it, which seems to be a lot less than me. We have a standard thing when it all seems too big and too difficult which goes as follows;
Me, wrapping myself in his arms "Tell me."
Him, holding on tighter "It/We will be okay... I promise." This always works for me as I then know he's thinkinng on the problem too and it takes the pressure off me a little and I know together we will come up with a solution.
I also have a 3 year old who is very caring and nurturing to both of us so I guess in my team we all take what we need and give everything we can. Although I do fear getting old and him going before me and who will wrap me up and tell me and could I survive alone, I try to push it out or it consumes me.
After all that I go back to my first thought which was, you are not alone in this feeling.

[kimmydawn]

hi and welcome! i think it's great that your father is there for you right now

as far as wanting to go home...no, i don't want to go "home" to what it was (that was yuck). however, i do want to go to the home that i had/have in my mind and childhood fantacies. i can so relate that. as an adult, i often want to be nurtured, calmed and taken care of...a deep longing. i hope some day we get that

again, welcome! see ya round

[Wants2Fly]

Hello again, Trying --

I've been out of work since last year. Unemployment benefits used up long ago. My mother, who is 80, is paying many of my bills. I'm grateful -- and I hate that she has to do it. I have my bills sent to her, so I don't have to "ask" on a monthly basis for the help. So I'm not only not good at taking care of myself -- I'm a coward about asking for help.

I bring in a very small sum of money as a p/t teacher that doesn't begin to pay my expenses. I live on my credit cards and worry about what's gonna happen when the credit runs out.

I have no idea how people convince employers to hire them, and then stay hired. I have 20 years experience as a journalist and graduate degrees. Whatever it is I'm doing, it's wrong or at least maladaptive for coping with life.

Suck at life? Yup, that's me.

[wisewoman]

i have struggled with the feeling of wanting to be cared for and cherished and number 1 for years. I think it is getting better as I process stuff and see that I can do it on my own most of the time. By the way, I am not a lot younger and my inlaws help out at least 4x yearly. We just can't make the money and keep up but that is another story.

[vacantangel]

Oh sweetie, I feel for you. I've been in your position of living off credit cards before due to hypomanic spending sprees so bad that I couldn't even pay for my monthly expenses. It was absolutely horrible. I won't go into details because they are not pleasant but I pray that you will find a way out from under in hopes that you don't reach the point in which I found myself in. (((((((wants2))))))))

[vacantangel]

trying. I've been in your position and still am, reluctantly needing to go to family for help. It was and still is humaliating but I found myself in a position where there was no other alternative. We have to do what we have to do, but it doesn't mean we have to like it. I'm not at all suggesting that you're not, but I try to concentrate on how grateful I was/am that I have a family that was/is able to fall back on when I needed them most. I'm sure you are too. I know how it makes you feel inside, I really do. Just know that you are not alone in your plight. I have been there and I'm sure many others have too. I'm here for you if you'd like to talk. (((((((trying))))))))