How do you?.....trigger

How do you not let things on the news scare you?

I hadn't thought about something I saw on the news scare me or so I thought. Tonight I went to walmart real fast and came back home and was getting my stuff out of the car and it was dark out and I was sitting in my car getting my purse, my cigarettes and all the stuff I needed to take into the house and as I got to my door I realized how much of an easy target I would be for someone to attack me. I then realized I didn't know my neighbors well enough to know if they would come to my rescue if I started to scream. I also didn't have my outside light on because it's late and my neighbors are sleeping and I didn't want to shine my light in their windows and keep them up because I know it irrates me when they do that to me.

The reason I think this came to mind was in Fayetteville which mind you is 45 minutes away they had someone last weekend robbing people as they were exiting their cars. Of course they caught the guys doing it but still I realized how much of an easy target I could be.

So how do you not let something you see like that color your world?

Jan

I know what you mean. I used to obsess over things like this. To the point of anxiety. I couldn't get the terrible realities (even though they had not happened to me) out of my head. I slept with knives in drawers, crowbars under pillows. I'm a reluctant driver, but am better than i used to be.

This is (like most things) easier said than done. But my advice to anyone would be: accept it. Accept all the terrible and horrific things that do happen, and that it can happen to you. And then let it go. It's a process, a diffcult riddle, a bad joke. But at some point, you have to let go of things you have no control over. That is very difficult for me.

Good luck

Jan, is your neighborhood involved in Crime Watch? If not, you might want to check with your police department to see about starting up a group. If nothing else, the first meeting will enlighten you on ways to help each other in an emergency.

Also check the law in your state and see if it is legal to carry pepper spray. They even come small enough for your keychain.

http://www.defendwell.com/product_in...be585a46e20414

kind of an addition to what OB said, two things really

If the pepper spray is illegal there (it is here) buy a small bottle of cheap spray perfume, this works fine if you spray the attacker in the eyes, keep it in your pocket. No-one can complain about you carrying perfume.

Secondly, about the neighbourhood watch groups, we have them here too & they can work, you need to have an agreed upon signal that you need help & are a local. It is easier if you are not in a rural community & it sounds like you are not. If you can't scream you need a whistle or one of those personal attack alarms. (We say this because often women have to be trained to be able to scream & also there may be older people in your area who can no longer yell loud enough)
We expect the local police would help you set it up, at least by giving a talk to an assembly of the group.

Oh, & buy a really good small LED flashlight, & forget about the neighbours not liking outside lights, they can buy curtains, lol.

Some very good advice there but I think you were asking about how to stop feeling scared about the thoughts of something happening. Yes?

Preparation. Prepare yourself for the worst scenario and share your fears with others, a trusted neighbour perhaps who might be aware of your comings and goings.

Make a plan, like the one most people make if there was a fire and they had to leave their home. What would you do? Who would you call? Who could come to your aid the quickest? Planning this might be a bit scary but once everything is in place you should feel less scared about thoughts of attacks.

And if need be, stop watching the news. I have. lol

overcoming fear is something we all need to face on some scale and you are examining it in the news, on a global scale.. i remember to think about the GOOD PEOPLE whose job it is to defend us against violence and the work they do each day and even tho its true that a small number of criminals get away with their crimes, on the whole, we can feel safe that there is someone somewhere who cares... like you!

good question, jbug!!! what works for me is to be prepared and cautious so that fears do not control my life. in the world we live in today preparedness and caution can be a very good thing.
like having my car key in my hand as i am walking to my car at a mall. noticing my surroundings...is there anyone near me that may be suspicious? parking my car in a well lit area. leaving my outside light on at night when i do go out. the neighbors will have to endure casue u are doing a good safety thing. making sure i lock my car when i go into the mall. not being one of the last customers shopping...planning my trip accordingly. locking my car immediately once i am in it to leave the mall.
hope this helps to allieve your fears. it's all about being responsible for our own safety by doing some sensible things.

(((Jbug))))))))) I have to agree life can be scarey at times. Know your area. The news does play stuff up. I do thou agree for you to check to see if you have a watch group. Also get to know your local police ppl. Pepper spray if legal too.
With my son who was jumped in town and no one was around he had to learn to self protect himself. Which he has
Last year while at a stop sign in the fall in the day light. I had 8 pickers ((they come up every season)) most are good ppl by the way Anyways these men tryed to all get in my car. I was lucky and got away. The one thing i learned was always lock my doors now. Be aware of whats around you to keep you safe.
Most important I learned using your voice ((yelling help))) . I mean at the top of my lungs I think scared them away. Plus I drove off car doors open. lol.
I went right to the police after.
Please know the world is a good place , there are good ppl out there.
You can protect yourself .....
Muffy

((jbug))

The news has been terrifying me since I was a little girl during the 60s in Chicago. I couldn't run away from it then, and I can't run away from it now because I'm homebound and disabled in the home where I grew up.

I've known these people (my neighbors) my whole life, and I'm aware tensions are extremely high. In the past people have threatened my life, and continue to do so because I married a black man, have a biracial child, and am currently married to a Mexican man. If/when my neighbors can't take it anymore (the racial tension on the news), they will take it out on me and my family. It's also possible the religious people in my neighborhood might become overly zealous and want to "teach me one final lesson." The local church constantly plays "Onward Christian Soldiers," and I know how much some of the people there hate me for "betraying the white race."

Sometimes when I'm lying in bed I get to hear the birds and children playing. Most times, it's the continual sound of sirens - police sirens, fire trucks, ambulances. Yesterday I heard gunfire. It could have been fireworks, but I doubt it.

I'm completely defenseless. I could choose to be frightened, but that would only make my life even more miserable. If some idiot decides to step into my home and take my life, it won't be my problem - it will be THEIRS. The same goes for if they lay a finger on my family.

Hope this wasn't too strong. I received a death threat yesterday, and I don't trust our police force.

I would suggest you stay aware of your surroundings, but try not to be too paranoid about what might happen. Some things are out of our control. Worry and panic doesn't always prevent harm.

i like your grit KM! and i hope you will always be safe.. in todays world there are risk takers and there are observers... we need a little of both imo... at times we need one more than the other maybe..

the fear and worry is the signal to our minds that something is seriously unhealthy and needs our attention... sending you the best always

Don't watch the news?

No, really. Don't let the media terrorists scare you out of a good life!

Do, however, think about your situations and have a plan of action. You've already discovered some.

I do have a concealed weapon permit. But on the day to day I carry pepper spray, at the ready.

You might be able to take a free self defense course at a local college. If not, it's worth paying for...or at least talking to an instructor. There are very simple ways to attack an attacker. (i.e. Pinkie fingers break very easily and hurt extremely... yelling "FIRE!" (and thinking it often before hand to make it a habit) when someone confronts you...people will respond to a fire, come running, but shy away from "help!")

Take your car keys out before you leave the store, office. (You can also jab someone in the eye with a key.) Once in your car, lock all the doors... ALL THE TIME. (Rescue says that a locked door in a car accident prevents it from flying open and back onto a leg or arm, anyway.) But if you are in a locked car in a parking lot, it gives you that split second to think if someone tries to open the door.

BE MINDFUL! This isn't just good for therapy purposes, but for living! Be aware of where you are, what you are doing. Don't be planning your next activity until you've finished this one.

The idea is to become a little more confident so that when you walk you don't look anxious, which makes you a more viable target for an attacker.

But truly, I don't watch much news. It's the same ole same ole stories, and rarely anything good. Good news doesn't sell.

Sky

I know you're not addressing me, but that's what people told me when I was a little girl and wanted to know what was happening. When it got particularly ugly (inside my home or outside my home), I was placed in front of the TV to watch cartoons - or sent to my room. To this day, cartoons make me furious. The cartoons were just as offensive, and they were no substitute for a teacher who could explain to me exactly what was happening in my life. They didn't place me there for MY benefit - they just wanted to get rid of me.

I hated watching any type of TV when I was a kid because it blocked access to adults - couldn't disturb their "programs." When adults became too nervous about the real world and the danger they placed me in, they still refused to help me. It was too much for them, so they abandoned me to alcohol, drugs, television and church - and pretended I didn't exist.

My only options now are watching a furnace that is about to fall on me, watch a TV screen, or watch a computer screen. How does this bring peace - whether you watch TV or not?

My husband is Mexican-American, but he was born and raised in the U.S. and his family has been there for generations. He's never even been to Mexico, and doesn't even know the language. His parents were born here too.

My son is half-black, but my husband is his "dad." They were out yesterday together. A stranger started pushing my son around demanding that he speak Spanish and saying he's denying his Mexican roots. It's also possible he was testing my son to see if he was "illegal." Excuse me? My son is not Mexican and my HUSBAND doesn't even know Spanish!

I worry about my husband and son when they are away from me. I'm worried some bored kid or angry adult will decide it might be fun to mess with an "old hag" (or people of color on the streets) in order to prove he's a man - or take out his revenge. If he attacks my family, I will starve to death waiting for them to return. If my family comes home to a horrific scene, they will be LIVID and will NEVER forget. I refuse to carry a gun.

What would you suggest?

A lot of people were much more articulate than I was in my response, lol! I think there's great advice in this thread. There are things we can control, and things we can't. It's imporant to make that distinction, and act accordingly. Always a good dea to be aware of how to protect yourself. but when it comes to fears, anxiety, and things "coloring your world.", acceptance is important in letting it go.

I don't think avoidance is a good thing either (as KT said) because it's good to keep informed. Personally when it came to my own fears, I had to learn to accept it and let it go. It was either that, obsess over it, or constantly try to "avoid" the negative, which just snowballs into more anxiety.

I have been able to not life its self effect me any more after I found a deeper understanding within myself - the part of me that knows that things, good & bad, happens as it it meant to be - so knowing that the universe is working as it will I am able to let go of fear (control of the mind).

buggy hon to help with some of that fear go take a self defense course. you need enough that you could fight off someone should that happen. but as for other things that we might fear I have found that facing them head on for the most part is the best way to get over them. I had a huge fear of big bridges when I was driving a truck. oh btw I had an experience as you are talking about when I was on the road as well. at night I would have to walk between trucks to get into mine at times. even had someone approach me one time in a bad area. yes it was scarey but I made it thru

I'm with Sky, don't watch the news. The news has changed over the years imo from a source of information to a shock fest.

Sometimes I catch it, like the other day when they were talking about the states not having enough money to pay their employees and pay the tax returns. This was very alarming.

But as the others have said, be aware of your surroundings. Do what you can to be safe and the rest is beyond your control. Things like carrying your purse clutched to your chest and having your keys in your hands (big key between pointer and middle finger) make you less of a target. Shop during daylight hours whenever possible. You want to go when the store has other customers but is not so busy that something will happen and no one will notice.

Worrying about things don't change them at all. Whatever will be will be.

Kathy I am sorry that your situation is so dire. Is it possible to move somewhere that these things are not an issue? I grew up in a tiny town and couldn't wait to get out and see the world. We didn't lock our doors, keys were left in the cars etc. Once I had children though, my priorities changed.

We were living in what the rest of the country would concider a small town, but much larger than the one I grew up in, on the WA/OR border. Gangs from Cali were coming up and the local police were not equipt to dealing with this type of crime. There was a drive by shooting less than a block from my house where a toddler playing on the school play ground was hit. That was the straw that broke the camel's back and I packed my kids up and moved back to the place I knew my kids would be safe. Our income potential suffered greatly, but my kids were able to play outside safely without having someone literally stand guard.

We live in a place where we don't have to lock our doors, I don't even know where the keys to the doors are. We don't leave our keys in the car anymore, not for fear of theft, but because our kids and their friends are at an age that might be too much of a temptation for them.

((AAAAA))

I'm glad you don't have to live in fear. I don't have to either because I'm home. There's no other place I'd rather be. I don't have to lock my doors either. Couldn't even if I wanted to (door doesn't match up to the doorframe). Even if it did, someone could probably blow this house down if they wanted.

Besides, I'm not comfortable with locks either. If some pyromaniac punk wants to mess with me, I could be placing myself in even greater danger if my doors are locked and I can't figure out how to use the key.

I can even leave my key in the car if I want without fear of my son stealing our vehicle. If someone around here wants to steal our car, I doubt hiding the key in my home will be of much use.

My son is a grown man. He still needs me, but I think I've taught him well. Yep - whatever will be will be.