[onlymedid]

Since there is no "anger" forum, I had no idea where to put this, so please move to the appropriate area if needed.

I have an issue with stuffing my anger, letting it build up and then letting it out on the wrong person at the wrong time.

I went to T and was really angry. She told me to go ahead, turn around and pound my fists on her couch. I told her, "I can't do that. I can't let my anger out in front of you. I just can't do it." She asked me why, but I can't explain it.

She told me to go home and pound my fists on the bed.....but I can't do that either because my husband might hear me or see me and that is not ok. She told me to go to the mountains and scream as loud as I can, but I can't do that because someone might hear me.

I wonder if anyone else has this problem and maybe have some suggestions. I just feel like I have no outlet for my anger and I really need one that is not going to effect anyone else.

[bebop]

letting anger build like that is not healthy. it festers like a boil. I strongly suggest either of her suggestions. is there a time your husband is not at home? I am fortunate that I have 3 acres of land I can go out and scream all I want. give it a try hon. you will feel better. or you could get a punching bag and tell your husband you are working out.

[onlymedid]

Thanks Bebop! I know it's not healthy to let anger build up and at the same time I can't make myself let my anger out.

I didn't think about getting a punching bag! That's a great idea!

[splitimage]

Have you thought about writing - sometimes when my emotions are really overwhelming I just free flow write - I don't worry about spelling or grammar, I just let it all flow out, and I feel as free to swear as I want. Maybe if you could write about why you're angry and how it makes you feel and what it makes you want to do, that would help. I know it works for me.

--splitimage

[Junerain]

What about letting it out at the right person at the right time, right when someone crosses a boundary with you, let them know you will not be treated that way. Just a thought....

As far as anger about our illnesses, journaling works for me..

[onlymedid]

Originally Posted by splitimage

Have you thought about writing - sometimes when my emotions are really overwhelming I just free flow write - I don't worry about spelling or grammar, I just let it all flow out, and I feel as free to swear as I want. Maybe if you could write about why you're angry and how it makes you feel and what it makes you want to do, that would help. I know it works for me.

--splitimage

Thank you, Splitimage! I have written and it doesn't really get out the aggression that builds up or the issue with the people. It helps for other things, though. You know, when the mind keeps going and I can't figure things out in my mind. Thanks for the suggestion and thoughts!

[onlymedid]

Originally Posted by Junerain

What about letting it out at the right person at the right time, right when someone crosses a boundary with you, let them know you will not be treated that way. Just a thought....

As far as anger about our illnesses, journaling works for me..

Thanks Junerain! Oh, right....journaling about the illness....I can now see how writing about that might help!
Part of the problem is that I need to learn HOW to let it out at the right person at the right time. I don't like doing that because I like to take the time to think about the right way of saying something so that it doesn't come out wrong. Part of the problem with that is that it can take me forever to figure it out! If I try to react in the moment, I tend to let my anger out in the wrong way, saying things that are hurtful or will get me into trouble later. That is why I don't do it anymore.

Thank you so much for the thought. I might just have to really think about what I hold on to and what I can let go of. I hold on to ALOT that really should just be let go. For example, my husband put seasoning on my oven fries when he knows I have a stomach issue. He didn't do it just to spite me, he just didn't realize it had onion powder in it. That made me angry because at the time I felt like he was just doing it to upset me, but he is so kind and sweet, that he honestly didn't know.

So, see.....that is my problem. I need to learn to pick my battles appropriately and deal with the appropriately.

Hey, look, writing did a little good for today! I figured something out!

[Christina86]

(((((((((((onlymedid)))))))))))

I have trouble with the "anger releasing" thing too... I guess it's at least partly to do with past environments and role models? My family is full of emotional bottlers anyways...

I really recommend a punching bag. I need to get one of those actually!

I like ripping things. Paper, old books, old phone books... it's very cathartic sometimes. I go for a HARD fast walk/run whatever and just "burn rubber". Anger can come out through more involved exercise. Otherwise, just go outside and scream if you can. Not in public unless you want onlookers though. I listen to "angry" or loud music sometimes too... singing along can be very relaxing.

If your T can make a safe environment, it can become easier to be angry there. It took me forever, but I finally cried in front of T, and it was *such* a relief!

Beyond that... sometimes I watch a movie that can evoke the emotion in me by watching it. So if I want to cry, I watch a sad movie... that sort of thing.

What about painting??? I love painting my anger. Lots of reds and blacks and blues... Or whatever. It doesn't even have to look like anything.

Or you can come here and vent, we do allow anger here - we just don't have an anger forum.