[spondiferous]

So tomorrow is my first actual session with the weekly therapy group. The psychiatrist who runs it specializes in the treatment of EDs, but the group is to not just deal with ED issues but the (often trauma-like) underlying issues. I'm excited but nervous at the same time. I feel like I've hit a wall in my recovery so it'll be good to get the ball rolling again, so to speak. At the same time I worry that I don't really want to get better and it'll just be a waste of my time, or that it'll trigger some mental health stuff I'm not prepared to deal with.

Either way - wish me luck. Hope everyone's doing alright.

[1D10T]

You will find a lot of peace once you get settled in. Been going to my group on and off for years and its the one thing I definitely look forward to!

-There is no such thing as normal.

[sunsetsunrise]

I have read your words for a while now. and I think you will do great. Yes things might get triggered. But I have full confidnce that the part of you that wants to get better ( and I do believe we all, as humans, have parts of us in resistance aka fear) is strong enough to carry you through. I sincerely do. I think you are one dedicated woman. The road to recovery is not a straight line. And it is littered. So please know that often what feels like being stuck or regressing is simply another stop along the way. I hope my words help. And I do wish you the very best of luck.

[spondiferous]

Originally Posted by 1D10T

You will find a lot of peace once you get settled in. Been going to my group on and off for years and its the one thing I definitely look forward to!

-There is no such thing as normal.

Thanks 1D10T; I have always responded well to group therapy so I am looking forward to it. Plus there is no expiry on this group, which is a huge bonus; I can stay as long as I need or want.

[spondiferous]

Originally Posted by sunsetsunrise

I have read your words for a while now. and I think you will do great. Yes things might get triggered. But I have full confidnce that the part of you that wants to get better ( and I do believe we all, as humans, have parts of us in resistance aka fear) is strong enough to carry you through. I sincerely do. I think you are one dedicated woman. The road to recovery is not a straight line. And it is littered. So please know that often what feels like being stuck or regressing is simply another stop along the way. I hope my words help. And I do wish you the very best of luck.

Thank you so much for your kind words. You have always been so encouraging toward me and I truly appreciate it. I will let you know how it goes.

[1D10T]

Originally Posted by spondiferous

Thanks 1D10T; I have always responded well to group therapy so I am looking forward to it. Plus there is no expiry on this group, which is a huge bonus; I can stay as long as I need or want.

Even better that there is no expiry to group!

-There is no such thing as normal.

[spondiferous]

Okay so the group went pretty well. I tend to unconsciously go into this turtle-in-a-shell mode when exposed to new, possibly 'dangerous' (or just intimidating/nerve-wracking) situations, kind of like shock I guess you could say, so I don't really know I feel about it yet. But the people in the group are all really 'normal' people - out to get help and totally imperfect, just like me. I had a really hard time getting there this morning; thought I was going to have a panic attack. I fell apart and started crying while I was introducing myself to the group. But I think it'll be okay.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

I love my ED group, not just for the practical advice that I receive, but also it's the one place I don't have to lie and pretend that I eat/think normally .

I think being nervous, anxious and even a bit panicky is normal. You're putting yourself in a vulnerable position and don't yet know how it will turn out. It can sometimes take a few weeks for the group to "gel" and everyone begins to relax. That's when the real work begins, and then the group takes on a life of its own.

I wish you all the best in this exciting new phase of your recovery. Please keep us informed as to how it's going. Some people on the forum may be going to the sessions vicariously with you!

Take care,
Bub

[sunsetsunrise]

It is SO okay that you were turtle in a shell mode. And also it is very okay that you cried. Its THAT scary to you. I completely understand. But with these sort of groups the likelihood of amazing bonding is very high. I bet there are some future bffs amongst the group. You did great. you got there. And you spoke. That was purrrfect .

[spondiferous]

Yeah one of the great things about this group is that unlike every other therapy group I've ever been to, the psychiatrist who runs it encourages us to form bonds with each other outside the group. She thinks it's healthy, not just so we have more support in our recovery, but because it's an invaluable way to begin learning how to have healthy relationships, and healthy boundaries within relationships, and to learn how to trust people.

I really appreciate that everyone on here has been so supportive to me in this journey. It's so bloody difficult to keep on with this rollercoaster. But when I get discouraged I just need to look back to how much I've already changed and opened up and learned about myself.