It never ends well

For so long, I've felt alone, with no one to share these things with. Once, in person, I told someone my problems with binging, and they shot me down and told me to get over myself-- since then, I've felt discomfort when prompted to speak to anyone over it.

Whenever I feel bad, or often even without prompt, I will find myself eating obscene quantities of food. Always, I end up to the point where my stomach is in pure pain, and I am forced to purge it all out. Even afterwards, there is a linger of physical pain, as well as this heavy sense of guilt, emptiness, and loneliness.

Thank you all for reading.

Hello, Orbit26. Is professional help an option?

Thank you for responding-- unfortunately, in my current circumstances, professional help is not available to me. I do appreciate the suggestion, however.

WELCOME

Hello dear Orbit26. I'd like to offer you a very big warm WELCOME to psych central and all of the good things it has in store for you, I really DO UNDERSTAND what you are going through because I've had eating disorders for the last 33 years, yeah long time. I ended up in the Psych hospital all those years ago with anorexia but then along came bulimia. Even today I still suffer severe restricting most of the time. Yes, I certainly understand hunny. XXXXXXXXX

Hello! Thank you-- I appreciate it, and I'd like to thank you, personally, for responding to me. It means a lot to me, and I am deeply saddened to hear about your experiences-- I do truly hope it all ends well, and I am sorry for anything you may have suffered. Thank you.

Out of all my ' things' (addictions and SI) binge and Purge (I suppose bad enough to be called bulimia tho I disputed that with my T a little) is ultimately the very hardest for me. Maybe because we need food... We don't need all the other crap. But we need food. And I have such a hate on for food until I feel like I NEED it and then, wow. It's awful. I started seeing a new trauma therapist and tho she is not addressing the eating thing too much, she did say 'so what did other therapists say about the ED? They usually don't know how to handle it'. and it's kinda true. I'm having a hard time getting a grip on it. Wish I had better advice or anything to offer... But I guess I don't. Except I know the struggle with the stupid disorder. I joined a gym recently- that has helped and made me focus on wanting to make better choices I guess...