My Dilema~

All good points given here Bethy, you need to stop allowing your Dad to make you feel quilty, this is not the man who raised you but the scared little boy trying to figure out whats going on. If he were you child would you give in, NO you wouldn't, reassure him of your love and let him know for safety reasons the Dr knows best

tryin,

Your posts reminded me of the ordeal of trying to take care of my father before he died of cancer. He couldn't or wouldn't allow changes that we believed would facilitate his treatment. And I had a lot of difficulty not approaching him as I did as a young child. (((hugs)))) for seeking support and information at this very difficult time.

Meta

So sorry your going through this Beth. Sounds like a very hard decision. I think you need to do what's best for you. your family, and for your dad.....whatever is in your heart and you feel right. I'd also talk this through with your husband because he may be able to make some helpful suggestions. I wish you luck and truly hope all works out. Please keep us posted hun.

Thank you all for your support thru this stuff. I am going out to the rehab center now to deal with things hopefully for the last time . I have probably made the wrong decision for myself and for dad but monetary right now this is what needs to be. I looked a few things over.. my sisters and I did. And dad simply cannot afford to do 24 hr care right now.. if he should need it when he gets worse with the alzheimers down the line. I know that sounds stupid. But right now.. he is more of sound mind and where I can handle looking after him . And I plan on writing up a letter with the help of a good friend of mind to enlist family help on weekends. We will also get lifeline put in and meals on wheels . I am hoping that they will go for this plan when I go out to talk to them. I feel overwhelmed already ... but what can I do? Dad told me yesterday I got him in this mess I had to get him out. He sure as hell knows how to make me feel like that little girl again who feels threatened by his every word. And I am still the little gilr who wants to please her daddy. Why do I keep lettting him get away with this?

love maybe? you know he is still pretty good with his mind too and that makes it hard. good luck

Now that he's in the position where he needs you, I'd recommend having a little chat with him and telling him that it's going to your way. I'd also tell him how he makes you feel when he says these things. If he's going to be cared by you and your going to around him more often then there has to be some sort of agreement and compromising, that way all goes peaceful. Of course you have nothing to do with the disease....nature is control over diseases like this.

I hope all works out and you don't let this get to overwhelming.

He's not home yet.. but will be soon and I feel overwhelmed already. I feel so selfish because I dont want this to take over my life. I've been enjoying my life. And I am mad MAD because I feel like its being taken out of my hands again. Loss of control .. again. I just want it to stop.

Beth, the way you are feeling is totally understandable. I wish I knew what to say to make everything better. Please take care of yourself, and do whatever is necessary to stay well. I'm sending you good vibes!

Love you,
Sujin

Desirae,

Have you started your new job?

EJ

I'll be going to get Dad at 4:30 this afternoon. I am scared to death about the whole thing. But the plan is in place.. And I am gonna carry thru on it. I just dont know that I can in such a way thats going to make any of us happy.

Anyways .. I would appreciate your good thoughts. prayers whatever it is you do today. I've got a ton of things I need to get around yet before this happens this afternoon. Gotta get his groceries , install the new phones before the lady comes out to put the lifeline in. Tomorrow the visiting nurse is coming out already.. and I have a guy putting in a new garage door opener with the code thingy on the outside of the house to open up the garage door for those visiting like family and friends. I am so afraid I am missing something here lol. But my list says no lol. I feel like I am losing my mind already EEEKS! lol

Thanks for your frienship and support. Means so much to me .

Hugz~
Bethy

Hi Beth,

Sending you good wishes...I'm thinking of you!

Love,
Sujin

Beth you are good at details! don't doubt yourself so much!!

Ohhh yeah Elaine? Guess what I did.. when left home to go to dads for the lady installng the lifeline.. I forgot to turn off my stove! I had soup cooking on there for dad. His favorite. I knew there was something I just couldnt put my finger on it ! LOL!!!!!!!!! Told ya I am losing it! lol

oh beth careful there hon...will have to start calling you old too lol..those memory things lol...what is that called again? lol

(((((((TRYIN2BME))))))))

Beth your not losing it just overwhelmed, relax and let the provider services work for you, glad to see the thread unhighjacked

Bethy, can I call you that?
I'm sending you my deepest thoughts and love.
It's so very hard, I sort of share that stuff, with my mom, with you?
All I know it is all emotionally and even physically draining, caring for a parent(s).
At the present, I feel someone has sucked my whole life force of me, I'm spent.
Take care, hang in there, okay?
Roe


((((((((((((( Tryin2bme )))))))))))))))))

thanks everyone...!!!!! WOW what a day. I ma draimed already. The home had all his things packed and he was ready to go. They kept calling him Trouble lol. Which is true! .. but the shocker came when I found papers that he must have been thinking of revoking my POA . Doesnt look like he went thru with it. And if he did.. then so be it. I dont think any of the other kids will do anything for him. He will be on his own. Did %#@&#! me off though. And then I went to get his meds filled. The doctor that saw him out at the home( who is my second cousin) his office was supposed to call in the scrips and they didnt. So the pharmacy gave me enough of his meds that I didnt have at home here to get him thru the weekend. Which I was glad of cause the one I didnt have was a heart med. Grrr. I dont know who's fault that was but it also upset me. We got home and dad was hungry. I made his favorite soup like I said. Well I wanted to add a little bit of seasoning to it.. Just a little bit of pepper... Wellllllllllllllll wouldnt ya know that the lid fell off the shaker? Yeaaaaaaaaaaah. I dont think anything was supposed to go right today. That soup was so hot that we couldnt eat it. I got groceries too. It was like restocking his fridge and cupboards. I also got most of his clothes put away. But I have to be back in there in the morning at 9 am cause the visiting nurse is coming and then the physical therapist in the afternoon sometime to evaluate him. And then the garage door opener guy ~lol~ is coming to install that sometime too. I am not sure I am up to spending alll day there. I am tired and I just want to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep lol. Hopefully this week I can catch up a bit. I feel like i've been running ragged already.

Thanks for your replies.. Hope you dont mind that I wait till I am more awake to reply back. Love you all!

Hugz~
Bethy

(((((((((( Beth )))))))))))

I hope things go better. Please take good care of you. You are important.

Hugs,

Jan

(((Beth)))

Take care of yourself...get as much rest as you can..sounds like your needing every bit of energy you can gather..