[kilroy]

I guess I am suffering in silence. My wife suffers from depression and ever since getting pregnant almost two years ago, she stopped taking her Wellbutrin for the pregnancy and now still doesn't take it because she wants to breastfeed. So for two years my wife has been depressed and it's been hell for me. Sad thing is that she perceives it that it's been hell for her. She thinks that I'm a horrible husband, she remembers every little thing I've ever done or said and makes it out to be a huge case for how I am mean and abusive. (i am not). She is convinced I'm horrible and gets angry at me at the drop of a hat. She says that I'm the one with the problem but doesn't see that it's really her. She says I'm the depressed one and dosn't admit that her depression is causing her to feel such hatred towards me. She talks about divorce constantly, says she longs to be with her ex-husband and wishes she never got divorce (when she was medicated she told me that her ex was a horrible person, but now she wants him back?). I feel like I'm walking on egg shells. She tells me that I'm "more of a burden than anything else" and one night went into my closet, took out my shirt, and wiped up some pee on the toilet seat with it. Got back into bed and told me if I ever got pee on the seat again she would use my nice dress shirts to wipe it up. (all this seems normal to her). Why can't she see she's the abusive one? Why is it that she has everyone, all of her friends, even her therapist convinced that I'm the devil and that ohh poor her for having to put up with such a jerk like me. I feel like screaming "don't you get it?? Don't you see the truth??? I'm not the one that's abusive she is" But I'm left feeling alone, hated, a burden. I've asked her for things, to let me share my feelings about how I'm hurting, and she says "i don't care what you're feeling". All this seems so justified to her. I can't tell her anything that I'm upset about, or get mad, or have feelings because if i do, she will just jump on me and get mad. I'm beginning to doubt my own sanity. After two years of hearing about how I am a monster I am starting to wonder if it's true. Is there anyone out there who has gone through this with a depressed wife? Is there anyone out there who can relate to the anger, the blaming, the rage that she has towards me for even the smallest mistakes? Is this what depression is? I thought it was supposed to be crying in bed all the time, not mean angry hatred towards your spouse. Help me make sense of it all. Anyone??

[LMo]

kilroy, I'm going to close this thread and move your other one here, ok?

[Soidhonia]

Hello KILROY>
I am sorry to hear that you are having these issues. Sometimes people suffer with Post partum depression after they have children. Have you thought about getting professioanl help for yourself, to help you stay stable during all of these attacks. Sometimes depressoin is bad if not worse ont he other party involved with the depression.
I frankly think your wife needs to see a therapist, about her issues if not then maybe you should call her Dr that delivered the baby to help her at this time. If you want to Psisci (Dr Wylie) can help tell you if anything is available for your wife to take at this time. If you PM psisci (DR WYLIE) he can probably suggest what is available for your wife to take while she is breast feeding.. I hope the best for you and I hope things get better soon. Take Care
Soidhonia

[Ruth317]

Sorry to hear your situation but I can identify totally- I have been my husband's "enemy" for years! Each day I wake up hoping that this will be the day that everything goes back to the way it was, but that never happens. Luckily, my children are grown and out of the house so they do not have to experience the insanity of it all but it only makes me doubt mine more. I hope that for your sake and your children's sake your wife gets the help she needs.
Keep hanging in there!
Ruth

[Direction]

Glad you were able to find PC

I agree - this would probably be a good time to get some Professional support for yourself...