My sister passed away three weeks and one day ago and my mum has had an 'emotional/mental breakdown'. At the moment, I am her carer. I am 17 year old girl.
I used to care for my sister during anorexia because i was the only person she would eat in front of, so i used to make sure she had the right amount of calories, used to watch her eat, make sure she didn't throw up and argued with her over food etc. so i am used to being a carer, but this is harder than anything i have done before.
I am in the process of hiring a live-in nurse for her as when i am at school i cannot care for her.

It is just that my mum is the only person who knows of all my mental illnesses and has usually been my rock. she was a really great mother and carer and now i kind of miss her. i just want her back (and i NEVER miss people).
Sorry, i just felt like i needed to rant
erica xx

[StarPonysMama]

((((((hellishlygood))))))

I hope things do get better for you. Bless you for being such a strong soul at 17 years old.

[ziggy1]

(((((((hELLISHLYGOOD)))))

[nothemama8]

your allowed to rant, it helps, I was a year younger than you when I left school to care for my Grandma, keep talking we are here for you

[CedarS]

((((((hellishlygood))))))

[(JD)]

(((((Hugs)))))

[EJ711]

Erica,

You are carrying a heavy load right now. We are here for you.

EJ

Thank you all. ((((((((Hugs))))))) seriously, you help me a lot.
Things got worse a while back, it has been a few good months now. My mum attempted to kill herself and I was the one to find her in the bath I kind of have gotten used to looking after her now. I know I am probably watching her too much and doing too much for her but she has been a great mum over the years and I want to make sure she doesn't hurt herself again. She used to get very moody and angry sometimes but she has stopped that really. She apologised for all the times she yelled at me etc. and she seems to be doing better.
Now she is just very, very depressed but at least she seems less psychotic? Ah idk.
I am handling it okay but I have emotionally detatched myself drastically in order to stop from breaking down when I see her upset. I think it will ruin our relationship for the future because of this
The only way I can get some help is by signing her into a psych ward or suicide watch and I am very against that as I don't think the situation is that dire, nor do I think it would do her any good.

[(JD)]

Why don't you think the psych ward will do her any good? A good use of that is to put someone onto medicines and find a therapeutic dose. It would also give you a break in stress and time to make some hard decisions.

It's tough, any way you try it.

[SingleGirl]

Hi. First, I'm so sorry you lost your sister. I can't pretend to imagine your pain.

Secondly, I was also my mom's caregiver at your age. I remember the suicide attempts, the overdoses, visiting her in ICU, talking to deputies, EMT's, calling 911, trying to balance some sort of normal life with my home life.

Honestly, I can think of few things more painful than what you are going through right now. The world tells us that maternal bonds are supposed to be the most strong. Yet, in our lives, we got stuck raising our moms. It's a hard place to be in and I just send hugs and prayers your way.

I agree with the psych ward, however, you should know, it is pretty difficult for a child to get their parent committed depending on where you live. I tried 20 times and it NEVER succeeded b/c once her psychotic break was over, she would be able to talk her way out of it and blame me for the whole thing.

Most of society still takes adults' words over children's words... even though that is extremely unfair so many times.

If your mother trusts you, try and get her to agree to a voluntary stay. Tell her it will be a break for both of you.

Sending prayers and hugs.

Thank you all for the replies. I'm sorry that you had to go through something similar to this SingleGirl (((hugs))). Sorry it was so hard to get her committed.
Personally, I do not want my mother to be in a psych ward. I know a great mental health clinic where she could stay and it is lovely and I trust the people there a lot BUT I think I would only be able to get her in there if she volunteered to. I doubt she would volunteer as well. I mean, I am sure I could talk her into it - she trusts me a lot - but I am not so sure it would be the best thing for her. I want her to keep some sort of normality at the moment and I think moving her from our home would be hard. Even if there are reminders of my sister here.
She used to be such a grounded happy person. She was very strong through many problems - Dad's trial, sister's illness, my illness. And her children always meant the world to her. She seriously was a fabulous mum. One of those people just born to be a mum. Then my sister died and it is like everything has been taken from her
It isn't fair on her.