[kisabel]

Hi - I'm a hair twirler. I am 32 now - I've been a twirler since the age of 2. My mom tried her best to make me stop but was never successful. Usually I twirl when I read or watch TV at home - but I seem to be twirling more and more often of late - and in all types of places, including the office.

This is now negatively affecting my career - I find myself in business meetings, twirling away - and all the other people at the table are staring at me, instead of focusing on the meeting. I don't even realize that I'm doing it!

When coworkers walk by my desk, the first thing they notice is that I'm twirling - usually while concentrating on computer work, but pretty much all the time!

It drives my husband crazy - but his mom was a twirler too, so he's a little more used to it than other people.

I am not a hair puller - I don't pull out my hair - but I am really having trouble stopping the twirling. Any advice?

[Myzen]

Hi Kis,

Gosh, my wife does this all the time. She always has, and we've been together 25 yrs. I think she pulls them out as well, sometimes, but only one at a time.

I find it fatally distracting if we're trying to have a conversation. I can't concentrate for watching her ritual. I say to her very gently, "You're pulling your hair again". She stops and after a few minutes she just starts doing it again. I don't mind really, but the worry I have is that she does it at work and people are too polite to say anything. My wife does say that she doesn't socialise much at work and she doesn't have a special friend there.

One thing. I've suffered with some nervous body language and over the years I've reduced it a lot, people say it's almost indetectable now. I did it through Buddhist meditation - being aware of my body as much as possible and feeling what I'm doing with it. This also helped a lot with depression. It's called 'mindfulness' and it worked for me.

Good thoughts, Myzen

[h0kie]

Have you tried pulling your hair back? Out of your face?

I notice when I leave my hair down I am constantly playing with it. Twirling it, combing my fingers through it, adjusting it. So I pull my hair back 99% of the time. Pony tails, large clips, etc. Anything to keep it out of my face and off my mind. Maybe something like that would help you...if your hair is long enough, of course.

[mrb020377]

I am one too. I twirl my hair all the time, so i really cant give any advice.

[Miss_A]

No a hair twirler but I am a hair flicker.

[jammerlich]

In my humble opinion, I think the only thing that makes the twirling a problem is that it bothers you. I'm certainly not trying to invalidate how you are feeling. I just want to express that I don't personally think there is anything wrong with it.

I have a relative who twirls her hair and I've never really thought much of it. Sometimes we mimic her just to tease her a bit. But she doesn't think anything of it. She says it soothes her. And you know what? There are a WHOLE LOT of worse things a person could do to self-soothe.

Do you think maybe it soothes you too? Maybe you could find something else to take it's place. Like those little gel filled balls, for example? Those are great for keeping the hand occupied.

[kisabel]

Good idea - my hair is longish - I'll try wearing it in a bun and see how that goes. Just putting it into a ponytail doesn't work - I just twirl the ponytail - but if it's completely contained maybe that will help.

[kisabel]

Hi Myzen - You are a good husband

Mine tolerates it pretty well - when he can't take it anymore he just asks "jeez, do you ever stop!??"

I'm really making an effort to break the habit, but I have to think about it all the time, and the minute I stop trying not to twirl, I am doing it again...

I will look into mindfulness & meditation - thanks for the suggestion!

[kisabel]

Thanks, Jammerlich - that makes me feel better. I guess compared to the alternatives, it's a fairly harmless habit. It is soothing - it seems to calm me down, and I have noticed that I twirl more (and faster) when I am stressed.

A friend at work gave me a "totem" - it's a little carved stone in the shape of a butterfly about the size of a quarter. It feels nice and cool in my hand, I'm trying to rub it instead of twirling (it helps at work because I can play with it discreetly, whereas there is no way to hide hair twirling).

I have also asked some coworkers that I am more friendly with to tell me when I'm doing it - because most of the time I don't even realize I am.

I think I am making progress - thank you for your support & helping put it into perspective a bit.

[(JD)]

Oh I think the totem is a great way to change the behavior, or substitute the symptom. imo it is the calming effect you are going for... perhaps someone used to stroke your hair as a baby to quiet you...

[eskielover]

Interesting, I never thought of twirling hair as a problem.....but watched my daughter do it most of her 27 yrs so far. I know she is under some stress right now....& it seemed worse when she was here for my Mothers, (her grandmothers) funeral. Your post reminded me of what I have seen, but I never noticed it enough to even mention it to her.

Doesn't seem to bother her in the least...she is doing outstanding in college, managing a home with her boyfriend, her kitty, & his dog....all in all....pretty well adjusted considering that she had me as a Mom.

Don't worry too much about it....but if it bothers you or those around you....it's better to try & break the habit.

Debbie

[JohnShaft]

There are pictures of me twirling my hair in the crib. I've got short hair now and can't do it and miss it immensely.

[Hope4me2]

no advice on how to stop....because I too twirl my hair and have been doing it for along time...but never gave it a thought before reading this post...if it bothers others that is about them...it gives me comfort when I am stressed...like while talking to my T I do it.....and I dont think anything of it...might ask him about it though and see what he says..
take care