[aquariangirl13]

I am new to this group and have many questions. My husband is currently diagnosed w. schizophrenia. but this does not seem to fit. So this morning I have been looking at other possible disorders that it might be. I believe he actually has paranoid personality disorder. He absolutely believes I am having an affair and can't let it go, everyday this is an issue for us. He thinks this person or persons is in the house. He also is afraid to confide in others for fear it will later be used agaisnt him. he is paranoid about people at work. But his main fear is that I live this other life that he doesn't know about. It makes it so hard to just live. I feel we are fighting about a non-exsisnt issue b/c I am not having an affair. I feel like we are wasting so much energy on something that is not real that it is killing the life we could have.has an appt on June 16th and I plan on going to tell them I think it's PPD instead if sz. I guess I am just curious if anyone here has any advice on how I should handle this situation. I often feel angry b/c I feel attacked. I am a good wife and mother, would never have an affair but yet I am treated as though I do. I know it's a mental illness but it just makes me so mad. Does anyone else live life like this and if so what has helped? Thanks for your time and thoughts, I truly feel alone and like no one else can understand.

[cms39]

Hi Aquariangirl. Paranoia is one factor that often coincides with schizophrenia. A girl I knew in high school developed these symptoms and schizophrenia ran in her family. I don't know what your husband's diagnosis is, but it sounds like it's very hard to deal with. We are here for support. There are also "in person" support groups for families with mental illnesses that may help you.

[aquariangirl13]

Thanks for the warm welcome. Yes he does know he is paranoid. His let's call them episodes are coming closer and closer together, about every 2 weeks I can expect a big blowup. Or at the least much drama. The other night during one of his more mellow accusing sessions he said, "I think there is a man underneath our bed and that he rides in the trunk of the car when you come to pick me up from work" I said do you know how irrational that is? That no one would be willing to go through all that? Then he said "it sounds really crazy when I say it outloud" So I told him maybe he needed to start saying these things outloud. I have tried to talk to him about trust and he says that in his head these thoughts just flood his mind and that's all he can concentrate on. It is very hard to remain calm but I know it is the best way to work through it withhim. But alot of times I just cannot take it anymore and I begin to shout b/c I have said the same thing over and over for years. That I would never cheat, that's not in my character, that's not who I am. I am sadly begining to realize that this will be with us forever. I'm optimistic since he atleast acknowledges that he is sick and is willing to go to therapy and get some medications. Although in the past when on meds he has decided he didn't need them anymore. I would love to talk with others in this situation if it be someone here or if anyone knows of a forum with others in this situation. I really appreciate your time and experiences.

Thank you ,
AUTUMN

[Schatze]

Autumn, might heart goes out to you. You are a GREAT wife.

My husband put up with so much from me before I was diagnosed with PTSD and put on meds. I would have violent outbursts and beat on him while screaming...it was terrible...I'm so ashamed but thank God everyday that I have him and that he's willing to live this with me. You sound just like my wonderful husband and your husband sounds as lucky as me. I'm sure if he could, he would tell you how much he loves and appreciates everything you endure. You're a wonderful person.

Missi

[I_Am_I]

Oh my god.... I'm not the only one. Hello Aquarian Girl. Sometimes I wonder if I am going crazy I have to keep telling myself I am not - that I am strong and good and accomplished, that I deserve respect and trust. My significant other is the same, although not quite as irrational. But I have been accused of flirting with a female waitress in a restaurant, of having countless affairs at work, of getting where I am at work through sex, of masturbating when he is not around, of enjoying sex toys more than him, of .... well of anything. We fight about once a week. My newest tactic that I tried out this weekend worked a charm and made me feel calm and positive again (the first time in a long time. Every time he started his spanish inquisition with innuendoes of my infidelity, I just kept repeating "I am NOT going to have this conversation with you" until he gave up. He still called me all sorts of names, he still went into his mood, but it was much better not getting embroiled in a senseless fight. I too find it is such a waste. Vacations ruined, weekends lost - all for nothing but irrational and non-sensical accusations. What irks me most are the two sets of rules: his ever-changing set for me and the set he has granted himself. If I delete the messages on my phone I am "hiding something", he on the other hand deletes all of his immediately. If I receive calls from work on my WORK MOBILE I am having an office affair. This assumption he does not apply ot himself. It is frustrating, isn't it. I can't get him to go see anyone or talk to anyone about it. I am curious to see if my new tactic will have continued success and will result in changed behaviour patterns.