[BPDchild]

What is a closet narcissist? My Therapist said I was a closet narcississt. And I have no idea what she meant., Help me.

When the word - closet - is used to discribe a person it means they are not disclosing to others that they are that. for example a closet gay is a person who is gay and practicing that lifestyle but not openly for anyone and everyone by telling family friends and so on.

So add the word closet meaning not openly to the disorder

For example for over 20 plus years I was a closet dissociative Identity Disordered person. I denied to everyone even myself that I had this disorder that I had been diagnosed with. Then I entered therapy and admitted to myself and my therapist that I had been diagnosed with this disorder. But a lawyer advised my therapist and I NOT to disclose my disorder.

So for everyone else I was a closet DID - lawyers, DHS caseworkers, child's therapist, and so on. I knew I had this mental disorder but was unable to reviel to anyone outside my treatment team that I had this.

I now have a new lawyer who says I can now stop hiding that I have this. I can now come out of the closet and relax and say to anyone I want to that I have DID and this is what it is and how I am taking care of it and have been for so many years.

i told you my version in chat

[(JD)]

A simple google would bring up many hits such as:

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
The closet narcissist does not feel that he
(she) can express grandiosity and self-centeredness directly and openly as the
brash, exhibitionistic narcissist does so well. The closet narcissist has the
same intrapsychic structure (a grandiose self-image fused with an omnipotent
parent-image) as the exhibitionist but the major emotional investment is not
in the grandiose self but in the omnipotent other. Therefore this patient does
not seek the mirroring of (her) grandiose self; rather he (she) idealizes the other and hopes to receive their admiration, or simply "basks in the other's glow."

From The Search for the Real Self
Unmasking the Personality Disorders of Our Age
James F. Masterson, M.D.
copyright 1988

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Welcome, again, to PC! Hope you feel more comfortable with your T soon so you can ask her what she means when she says things to you TC!

[BPDchild]

Thanks for the replies. I guess a better question would be what is a narcsssist? I think it means being self centered which I am but isn't everyone?

[(JD)]

No.

people are to a certain extent...

but then there are little things...

for example...

you say 'help me' and that you have a very important question... other people post because they like replies too... it is nice to respond to other peoples threads and show them you care about them which means they are more likely to make an effort to care about us.

can be hard to know what to say sometimes...

but sometimes it can help to read others talking about similar things that they are going through.

though it is slightly less instant gratification wise...

that was an example of a little thing you can do to help improve things... i'm not sure where you are at...

how much do you want to change? to be able to keep friends? to not cut? to not have the lows?

there is a personality disorder forum here too...

[jimon]

try reading "the emerging self"by james masterson he talks alot about closet narcissists in this book. good luck

[Sarah116]

Sorry cannot help you there. But I can help you by giving you this idea, sneak into your files and if you get caught wah la there is a great excuse! What does it mean? You probably are concerned and rather perplexed and should know because this is you!

[Rapunzel]

There are better ways to get information than by breaking and entering. Why not just ask? In fact, BPDchild did ask us. Asking the therapist who made the comment for more clarification and examples would lead to a lot better information than what is in the files, anyway. Besides, talking about it builds trust and understanding while sneaking around does just the opposite. I am sure that any therapist who made a comment like that would be happy to help you to understand it, since they tell you things to help you learn, not just to label you or call you names.