[skittles]

i jus wonder if i may have a social disorder .. i cant stand to be around people.... i just get distgusted seeing them.... hearing them talk..... i have no friends except one and i never et to see her..... i really dont even want any friends... even though i do like the people on here.. cause u guys know what im going though cause u have been there to......i chose to only have online friends because if i dont like what they ssay to me or somthing i dont have to deal with them i can just put them on ignore and thats that......

[Perna]

Don't think so. You are "allowed" to not like being around people; it would only be a problem if you wanted to be around people but were afraid of rejection (avoidant personality disorder) or angry all the time and picking fights (antisocial personality disorder). I'd just say you don't like being around people. Lots of people prefer to be alone.

Here's the National Institute of Mental Health's page on personality (social) disorders: http://www.nmha.org/infoctr/factsheets/91.cfm

Do you know why you feel disgusted with people?

What about them do you find disgusting?

[skittles]

everything..... their looks.. when they talk, ,their actions, everything....... i get angry being around poeople.. when i go shopping i cant stay out to long then im ready to go back home........ i yell at peoplw when im out to just cause i think they r looking my way.......

[dogtanian]

skittle i can relate. i am bipolar and my docs are querying a PD, and i think i may have schizoid pd. schizoids typically avoid sociability but it's thought for different reasons than avoidants, who avoid it because they're shy or embarrassed or worried about how people see them. with schizoids as far as i know it's more about a genuine need to be away from people because they're boring or uninteresting. obviously i'm no professional so don't quote me.

from my own perspective, i find people hard work. i live in a house with 3 housemates and i don't like to socialise with them. if i go in the kitchen to make tea and they're there, i will chat with them, but only about the weather and stuff. i like to keep myself to myself and i rarely go out. i went back to uni tonight and my dad said it would be nice to see my uni friends again and see more of them. i said "er... ok" but i was thinking "i go to uni to learn, i don't care about seeing people there" - there are people at college i like but i don't care about seeing them besides in lessons.

as for the disgust, i have a total "thing" about people not being covered. facial hair disgusts me, baldness does, people not covering their arms or legs or chest, the bodies get to me. if someone is covered, i'm less wary. but if they come too close to me at all i go a bit nuts and have to get out. public transport is horrible.

as a result, i also yell at people often "why are you looking at me?" "why are you standing anywhere near me?" "how dare you invade my space?" etc.

so er, yeah, not a very helpful post but i can understand your point of view. i'm having therapy to try to work out why i feel this way and what i can do about it but so far, it's just getting worse....

[Izerath]

People disgust me, too. I think its their total stupidity and worthless emo babble that pisses me off the most.

Even if it is as little as them asking a favor in a lovey dovey way, and, it would be **** of you to say no, you have no viable excuse not to, and, making any "slight" excuse will result in their further coaxing and if you stand firm you are a ****, so, you go along with it at first mention, but, really, you just want to flatten their face through a grated sewer cover.

Or when you improvise an action and they don't understand it and you have to explain it to them, because they are %#@�! dumb. But you have to sound happy when explaining it even though you are %#@�! pissed already. Its extremely irritating.

Does your disgust manifest in a similar fashion? If so, you could be lucky enough to be a sociopath.

[dogtanian]

:up:

erm, no, not really. mine's more a physical thing, although i am, on the whole, deeply cynical about emotions, especially so called "love" etc. i don't feel these emotions, i feel no connection to people, although i am able to socialise if needs be.

i think if i felt the connection, the physical would be less problematic. i don't feel anything for my family, beyond an intellectual liking for them as intellectual people, and if someone tells me someone's died i wonder why they're making a fuss.

i don't really wish to get violent towards people or force things on them: aside from a lack of emotional connection i do feel quite morally stable. i can see why morality exists, i believe in fairness and justice and freedoms. i hate people invading my space physically and sometimes then i will lash out but i know it's wrong and i feel somewhat guilty about it afterwards.

i sometimes do feel that people are immensely stupid, but i don't know if this is a PD thing or more that i value my intellect above all else, and if others don't match my standards i feel they are annoying or whatever.

[AlteredState01]

because I am so sick and tired of "feeling" everything so intensely and all the time. Between how I feel about myself and what I pick up from others (we with personality disorders usually have highly acute intuitive skills), the feelings of beng human can become, well, just as you have both described it as - disgusting. I sometimes feel like I am an alien because I get so creeped out about even having to acknowledge that I am "human."


It is only natural for people to charm us when they seek something from us. Most of the time, people are totally unaware of their behaviours - much like we were of ours before being diagnosed - however, we are just much more in tune to what's really happening.

We cannot change human nature, only how we respond to it - by being grossed out, or by acknowledging that we actually can see through their tactics and get to the truth of the matter, quicker. This can be a very useful skill, especially when "they" have no idea what they are saying or doing. I think our frustration is that we can see it, but they can't...and I get disgusted over that, which makes me feel disgusting for being so judgmental, and then I don't feel good in my own skin thereby creating a creepy feeling about being human, and so on.

Well, that's how it goes for me.

Altered State

[dogtanian]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
because I am so sick and tired of "feeling" everything so intensely and all the time.

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for me it varies. physically, i feel things. i feel anxious if i see insects and/or naked human areas, i feel my skin crawl, i feel unsafe. my tdoc seems to think there's a big element of OCD involved too.

but in terms of emotions, i don't feel those so much. i feel anger and cynicism and so on, but on the whole, i just don't understand the normal range of emotions: i see people expressing them but i can't work out what they mean or why they do it.

[AlteredState01]

I was where you were - limited emotional range - showing only anger and cynicism, as a matter of fact! I used to get wicked migranes during this time period (which went on for about, oh I don't know, 20+ years?).

At the time, I had a very stressful career - male dominated and highly competitive. I used booze to de-stress (which only added to it in the long run). I'd keep all my feelings and emotions in check (stuffed them down), because in business (my whole life), I would have been eaten alive.

After I cracked, however, I began having anxiety attacks (with the help of drug experimentations, too). This is the strange part: I was no longer having migranes. My body had changed its tactic - it was giving me anxiety attacks instead of allowing me to hold onto the stress and anxiousness in my usual way (by stuffing it down).

I rarely get migranes now, and when I have an anxiety attack, I can usually trace the cause of the attack much quicker than I ever could with migranes (as they often came (a week or 2) after the stressful event, or would be a result of a building up of stress, not allowing me any clues as to the origin of the stress).

Exchanging anxiety for migranes has helped me to recover, believe it or not! Although I am now overwhelmed with the entire range of emotions, at least I am "feeling" them. That has got to be progress , 'cause if it ain't, I'm starting to drink again!!

Seriously, I know this is progress. And I have proof:

My current boyfriend has been the only consistently stable human being in my life - EVER. His ability to maintain his personal boundaries and personal morals/ethics since the beginning of our relationship has actually helped me to see how unbalanced I truly was (but never really believed); I have been able to emulate his behaviours (fake it 'til you make it - type thinking) and practice them. I am, by no means, emotionally stable yet, but I do see progress - IN ME - and not through the eyes of someone else - THROUGH MY OWN EYES.

Is that not cool or what?!

I went back to read your original response to skittles. Sorry, but I had to giggle, BUT ONLY BECAUSE I can sooo relate to how you "feel" (and yes, you are feeling...) about everything! I, too, wonder if thinking the world is full of morons is a part of borderline personality disorder, because I feel that way, too. I am, however, not the genius I like to think I am, so I have to consider that this feeling is emulating from me.

I think your body is still protecting you - kind of like how DID protects the person from emotional overloading. When you are ready, you will feel. I guarantee it! Just try to be prepared for the onslaught! (I like to have a few clonaz on hand for just such occasions)

All the power to ya, babe! As they say in DBT: "You are where you are suppose to be at this moment in time..."

Don't give up!

Altered State

[dogtanian]

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AlteredState01 said:I, too, wonder if thinking the world is full of morons is a part of borderline personality disorder

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for the record, i don't think i am borderline, i think i may be schizoid....

as for the having a guy that understands your need for boundaries, that's good for you

i get migraines too, tension headaches as well, ALL the time.