[ledz]

By the time the third date was about to end her only concern had been vanquished. She may have been influenced by the kind of real kissing that one dreams of but answered my question convincingly. "Is there chemistry now?" I said. "yes there is" she said. That moment confirmed that this was the real deal and I was ready to commit.
I guess proving there is chemistry,isn't. She began the next morn.to hint that it's not going to work and became cold. I've heard the "fact of life" rules. If that is what she wants it's tough luck. I really hate cop outs. Tell me what you think.This is the message she sent last night...

"Listen, you're very attractive and super fun to be with. I am -- at the same time -- attracted to you and not attracted to you. Something major is missing, for me, and it's the chemistry, I tried to tell you that. I've felt chemistry before, I know exactly what it feels like and I desperately want to find it again. It's a feeling like no other and it's unmistakable -- euphoria!!! Like meeting someone that you know, absolutely know, you've known and loved with all your heart in another lifetime -- a connection, a bond, a love so strong. It's so hard to explain -- a physical chemical reaction of the body.

I do like you a lot, you have everything I'm looking for except the chemistry, which is really the most important thing for me. I don't want to short-change either you or me, that's why this way is best.
------------
Is she confused, crazy, self absorbed or being reasonable. I need to change her mind...again! I don't want to lose her but..

[lynn P.]

IMO she sounds a bit shallow and impatient. Yes chemistry is nice, but it can fade eventually and that's when all the other qualities count. I think you should let her go and maybe she'll find another guy and they'll be fireworks but he won't be nice in all the other ways that count in the long run. Pick someone who's stable rather than flip flopping.

[ledz]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

IMO she sounds a bit shallow and impatient. Yes chemistry is nice, but it can fade eventually and that's when all the other qualities count. I think you should let her go and maybe she'll find another guy and they'll be fireworks but he won't be nice in all the other ways that count in the long run. Pick someone who's stable rather than flip flopping.

Hi Lynn..Thanks for your reasoned opinion. The worst is that there will never exist a map that will show her the way to what exists for her right under her nose. Imagine that she pursued me on a dating site out of sheer infatuation( only her individual chemistry need apply) What? she had chemistry with herself which made everything Cinderella like...? Anyhow she loves everything about me but say's "I'm sorry but I don't think it's going to work out". No point in calling me anymore!...why the blowtorch baby? How does someone not know that the reason she is a doe eyed googooogaaaagaaaaa pile of mush after a hundred very meaningful kisses
IS because she is chemically drunk. As good as it I am(was) I didn't matter to her. She wants pure chemistry or I can go to hell. Is there any hope for her..

[Astridetal]

I agree with Lynn P. that she sounds a bit shallow. You really deserve someone who cares about you fo rwho you are and not just for the chemistry. I am hoping you can let go and find someone better for you. You are not responsible for finding love for her or giving her love when she's not receptive to it.

[ledz]

Thank you ladies. The more I think about her motives the less likely she has any, except to cover her own insecurities before I notice. Too late honey. I noticed .
The first thing she said after "the turn" in response to my "wtf happened to you" question, was " I'm just worried about all this stuff, I'm a mess, it's not you". So is she trying to save me from the horrible person she really is? Then why become that person and make sure it's done? I don't get that logic. Be as mean and evil as you can so that he will hate your guts and go away quickly? My problem is that I have self esteem. Anyone on the street knows that if you mess with someone like that there's going to be repercussions. Payback should be a ***** for her too. ha ha
PS: Sorry for being so cynical. Thanks for being there people.

[ledz]

Originally Posted by ledz

Thank you ladies. The more I think about her motives the less likely she has any, except to cover her own insecurities before I notice. Too late honey. I noticed .
The first thing she said after "the turn" in response to my "wtf happened to you" question, was " I'm just worried about all this stuff, I'm a mess, it's not you". So is she trying to save me from the horrible person she really is? Then why become that person and make sure it's done? I don't get that logic. Be as mean and evil as you can so that he will hate your guts and go away quickly? My problem is that I have self esteem. Anyone on the street knows that if you mess with someone like that there's going to be repercussions. Payback should be a ***** for her too. ha ha
PS: Sorry for being so cynical. Thanks for being there people.

The real problem I have with this lady is that I could not convey my sincerity. She had said early on that she thought I was just out to score and put a notch in my belt. I was honest enough to tell her how few notches there were...none recent or meaningful and I was sincerely looking for a keeper. If I hadn't convinced her of that why did she continue with me and allow me to get very close and then cite the same concern in the end?
This is what kills me. To not be taken at my word is disappointment and then some. Yes, she has issues. I would have been happy to help cure some of them if I had an honest chance...Is it so impossible to prove someone wrong in their thinking that the best solution is to move on?